Cosmopolitan - Bleeding after anal sex

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

""It's not unexpected that [anal sex] would cause bleeding." Does that mean you should never put anything up your butt hole? No! It just means you need to take some extra precautions, like, say, a little thing called a shit-ton of lube"

"It's not a sprint, it's a marathon back there. And you want to make to the finish line without any bleeding or discomfort."

FFS

www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/amp9230630/is-bleeding-after-anal-sex-normal/?__twitter_impression=true

Elon you're being ridiculous.

Elon. Some women want to get pregnant. And enjoy vaginal sex. So lube for that.

I don't often do this, but I think that's a really crap question.

Also (do I really need to do a sex Ed lesson??) women have more moisture during ovulation. At other times of their cycle there's less; the point of the natural lube is to help everything along to conception. So that's why.

There ain't any natural lube from the back end.

Did I accidentally write somewhere that women should not use lube for vaginal or anal sex

And rather than buying some should give up sex altogether

I don't remember writing that

Unless I have missed something.

Probably not judging by the other responses.

Flipping heck - to put it bluntly the arse isn’t designed for penetration, the vagina is.
Lube or no lube isn’t the issue - its the normalising of anal sex to teenagers without giving them a balanced view of the risks.
Btw synthetic vaginal lubrication is not odd since it is replacing what is naturally there, anal passages do not produce lubrication in response to sexual arousal - there is no need when the purpose is for expulsion only.

Batteriesallgone
I still hold true to the belief it’s the understanding and willing to talk about it that has changed rather than the fact of men doing the sex at women in any orifice they feel like

I really don't think this view is supported by the evidence.

In your post you talked of abusive rapists. Those men have and always will exist. But now, its normal boys and men who are now expecting anal sex, that a girl being in pain in sex is normal, that throttling or grabbing women by the hair is normal. That's the difference now. The sheer mundanity and ordinariness of these experiences.

I've even seen reports of impotence starting to be seen in teenage boys because they can't get aroused by 'normal' girls and 'normal' sex because of all the extreme porn they are watching.

Elon, if a woman wants to use lube for vaginal or anal sex that she actively enjoys and wants to have then there is no problem with that. A minority of women have always enjoyed anal sex.

There is a problem with an article telling all women that anal sex is normal, and pain and bleeding are normal and tearing is normal and not to worry their pretty little heads about it unless the pain lasts for DAYS. That article is encouraging the idea that (painful) anal sex is normal and mainstream. it makes it harder for women to say no to a sexual practice they don't enjoy and which hurts them.

It also didn't mention that STD transmission is more likely with anal sex

The only mention of condoms was around making it easier lube-wise

Irresponsible.

I dislike people policing other’s sex lives and trlling them what theyvshould and should not like. Yes, women should be empowered in the bedroom, but no 50% of the adult population should not all be regarded as the same.

Me? 40s. Participate in anal occasionally because l enjoy the sensation. If you think this is to bow to the pressures of any man, have you got the wrong woman. If it hurts, you are not doing it right.

Oral? I’ve hardly ever had penetrative sex without oral, it’s nothing extreme. It can be comforting to give and anybody who will not go down on me would cross my bedroom threshold.

Do you imagine every gay man is coerced into anal? If you think no, then why should women be?

Frescos depicting anal and oral sex were often displayed in ancient Roman and Greek baths. Many an example can be found in the British Museum and the Acropolis Museum. It is neither new or a modern trend. And women in ancient Greece were often far from the underdog.

Of course sexual health should be emphasised in any magazine article but that applies to all aspects of sex.

As the song goes “Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves”.

Do you have any thoughts on these points:

Bleeding is normal don't worry
No mention of STDs
No mention that if you dont' want to then no is fine
Only mention of condoms is related to makig it easier from a lube POV

I think you have totally misread the objections to the article TBH.

No-one wants you not to have sex you like.

Gosh how disappointing that the teenage/young women's magazines have become so irresponsible. Back in the 90s they provided good safe sex education for topics that you wouldn't cover at school and didn't want to ask your parents. The emphasis was always first and foremost 1. You don't have to do anything you don't want to and anyone trying to convince you otherwise is not worth it. 2. Be safe, guard against std and pregnancy by using a condom. 3. This is how you do it, safely and with continuing consent.

Disgusted that this has changed. Bring back Anita and Nick from Just 17!!!!

What you on about starlight

No one wants to hear about your sexlife

You totally missed point of thread

litlbrowndog is more sucicnct than me

See when some one uses the word empowerment I actually think what the fuck

Sorry, dreadful typos. Hit send by mistake when reading through.

@BlindYeo as my user name suggests I am quite old! When I was 16 my first boyfriend taught me how to do blow jobs after taking my virginity. That led onto "swallowing " which I wasn't very keen on so in a way pressurised to do something I found disgusting ( like anal now)

That was in 1969
Anal sex was first discussed between me and my friends about 20 years ago when one girl said her H had asked for it and she said' ok but let's get a cucumber and stick it up your arse first so you can see what it feels like' He sulked for weeks.
The internet has made things so much worse for young girls.
It's at the heart of so much abusive behaviour 😢

Now it’s called empowerment
Ffs

Sorry! I thought the original message from the OP asked what we thought. And another poster asked if anyone in their 50s could comment. Well, not in my 50s but I thought 40s was the next best thing.

As for not doing anything you don’t want. Agree entirely of course.

ChewyLouie

What a ridiculous argument bringing "design" into it. Was the mouth "designed" for fellatio ?

This is a sex education column it isnt about consent, presuming those reading it are into it is a reasonable approach to take.

And rather than buying some should give up sex altogether

No what you suggested was that men should just think themselves lucky a woman wants to go near them, and also that if they suffer discomfort from a sexual act they should be reminded that they don't have to do it.

bursting piles! jeez think i will go to bed with my cocoa and mills and boon instead!

"This is a sex education column it isnt about consent,"

Nor apparently about safe sex.

Marvellous!

So pleased to hear that sex education for girls and young women these days need not bother with trivial things like safety or consent.

Elon, are you on glue dear? The ‘ridiculous’ post here was you saying synthetic lubricants for vaginal use are odd.

Don’t know who you’re aiming the second part of your rant at.

"No what you suggested was that men should just think themselves lucky a woman wants to go near them, and also that if they suffer discomfort from a sexual act they should be reminded that they don't have to do it."

Actually I'm going to backytrack here.

I am pretty attractive and was pretty frisky. Men I went to bed with in my 20s were grateful. My husband still looks awestruck that he gets to see me with my clothes off. That's my experience and men who are grateful are, also in my experience, generous and respectful lovers.

In returrn, women are grateful when men are generous and respectful lovers so this feels like a win win situation to me.

And by grateful I dont' mean genuflecting, simply wanting to make sure you had a good time, to not cock it all up.

I don't understadn the second point.

You dont' think that telling girls that they have the option to say no is a good idea? If something is causing them pain (and that's not what they're into before teh kink possie get onto me) then it's not compulosry? The message is very much that if women / girls dont' do something that it's their fault for not being relaxed or whatever.

Why are you so down on including basic info around otehr issues in articles of this type?

PP said these things used to be

1. You don't have to do anything you don't want to and anyone trying to convince you otherwise is not worth it.
2. Be safe, guard against std and pregnancy by using a condom.
3. This is how you do it, safely and with continuing consent.

This article assumes that it's going to happen and reassures taht bleeding is nothing to worry about and fails to mention STDs which are much more readily transmitted though anal.

She;s aiming it at me louie

I think saying that lots of men I went to bed with were grateful and as a consequence wouldn't have dreamt of telling me to shave all my pubes off / have a cock so deep I puked / slapping me or "accidentally" trying to shove their cock up my arse / or coercing me into any of that.

That grateful thing seems to have set her off.

They were. That's a fact. And I was grateful for them treating me well.

It was all round better.

I never had to be reassured that bleeding after sex was normal. Just as a passing thought.