Cosmopolitan - Bleeding after anal sex

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

""It's not unexpected that [anal sex] would cause bleeding." Does that mean you should never put anything up your butt hole? No! It just means you need to take some extra precautions, like, say, a little thing called a shit-ton of lube"

"It's not a sprint, it's a marathon back there. And you want to make to the finish line without any bleeding or discomfort."

FFS

www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/amp9230630/is-bleeding-after-anal-sex-normal/?__twitter_impression=true

I had a go at explaining my discomfort about the statement "men should just be grateful women want to sleep with them". You haven't responded I see.

Switching things round is fun, except when we consider how we would view a man who considers women he sleeps with as lucky and ought to be thankful. I always hoped my partner had a nice time, I would hope you did to, so by that definition I too am grateful a man wanted to sleep with me.

Cosmopolitan is and always has been utter shite and no one should buy it let alone model their lives on it.

If you think all discussions about sex should include caveats about birth control is not natural and you don't have to have it, then fine. Our grannies or their mothers certainly weren't "putting it about" and many were very negative about a world in which sex was divorced from consequence....maybe Cosmo should write about that ? This is a magazine aimed at women in their late 20's early 30's isn't it ?

The penis and the vagina are designed for efficient procreation, women don't need.to orgasm for that. As I often seem to say on this forum, take it up with God.
.

Seconding the older people (who are younger than I am) saying that early on the big deal was mutual enjoyment. It was. Never have I or anyone in my general age group even contemplated anal. There's been some huge change while I wasn't paying attention. I'd be surprised if it had anything to do with women. Despite the research someone mentioned earlier saying porn was only one factor, I bet it's only one factor in the sense of 90%.

The main thing, though, I boggle about is how do young people square this with their germophobia? This is the generation who doesn't want to use bar soap because ewww. There could be germs on it. (Tangent: it's soap. It kills germs.) And yet they're doing anal? Without condoms no less? Are they insane? Does that article talk about any of the, um, microbiological issues involved?

And to answer another question, no, if you go far enough back to get to my teenage-20s years, blow jobs were not a thing.

You just had sex, fercryinoutloud. And it was huge fun. I never so much as heard of anyone being bored because they weren't doing it upside down, or backwards, or with their heads up their arses.

I'm starting to think that if you think good old sex is boring then maybe Ur Doin It Rong.

quixote9

The microbiome of the female genital tract is fascinating. There is no doubt that sex can really change the prevalent bacterial colonies. For example, semen raises the pH, harming the populations of lactobacillus. As such, other opportunistic bacteria (various species) can predominate, thus leading to bacterial vaginosis (BV).

I have to believe that spreading some extra E. coli from the rectum might have some consequences, if not careful, such as a UTI.

(Often, one of the only clues I have that an adolescent female patient of mine is sexually active is coming in with recurrent UTIs. Great...now I'm going to feel more compelled to ask specifically about anal, too.)

Oh, a man has showed up overnight to set us all straight. Stop the thread! Gavel! His ex enjoyed anal! Mic drop!
I wonder if his ex knows he only joined the thread, not to discuss anything to do with the OP, not to give some insight, but to discuss her sex life. How considerate.

I'm going to admit I'm completely baffled as to why inserting anything into your rectum is seen a turn on, given what comes out of it.

Maybe its my age.

Indeed, Blanche

I guess he inadvertently came across a discussion on the FWR board of Mumsnet whilst idly browsing the web late at night..

I wonder if his previous partners were male women or female women? It’s so hard to tell these days.

Anyway for all posters that want to discuss their love of giving or receiving anal there’s a sex board on here where you can discuss all manner of sexual preferences in an open and Frank way.

This is the feminist board where we discuss women’s rights and the safeguarding of children. HTH.

Of course some women like anal. Of course some men like anal. But Boys are not under pressure to have something inserted into their anus. In fact talk to a group of ‘some’ men and they grimace at the thought of it. My partner would love to do it to me. No way would he let me do it to him. Why don’t I do it even though it might be fun? Because I don’t want to be wear a colostomy bag when I’m in my 60s.

I think this has got a bit silly now.with the equation of people enjoying about of "bum fun" and colostomy bags as surely as a 40 a day smoker will experience health issues.

Poor guy, all he wanted was for us to "admit" that some women love anal and therefore it's perfectly reasonable for him/other men to pester every woman they meet for it, because some women like it to what's wrong with you, you prude...and then a bunch of nasty sex-hating witches jumped on him as if it was obvious where he was going with that argument. Which it wasn't, because men are clever, you see.

But Boys are not under pressure to have something inserted into their anus.

Exactly. I do think this is key. Anal sex pornography is purposely designed as rather damaging. Damaging a woman's body in order for the man to get aroused.

We're not talking about a sexual mechanism that is intrinsically arousing.

Otherwise we would be doing it to (straight) men just as much and it would be portrayed as such.

This is the reason why people are sceptical. Because they know how it is portrayed. And why.

I can't remember the name of the study. But it was on youngsters. It showed that the overwhelming number of girls did not want anal. Which is unsurprising. But the real kick was that the overwhelming number of boys who knew that but wanted to pressure them to do it anyway.

And now Cosmopolitan is complicit.

I would far rather see an article showing girls how they can maintain their boundaries with confidence. Give them the language to say no with assurance, rather than fear or worry.

But Boys are not under pressure to have something inserted into their anus.

Well,. presumably they will be if they happen to be homosexual. What do we think of this ? Are they damaging their bodies in order to get aroused too ?

I would far rather see an article showing girls how they can maintain their boundaries with confidence. Give them the language to say no with assurance, rather than fear or worry.

See, there are plenty such messages these days. Just not in Cosmopolitan. Most sex tip type columns don't begin by questioning whether the (probably imagined) question poser actually wants to give a blow job, and have they read up about herpes etc.

Isn't it the BMJ article Datun?

Fairly positive datun meant straight boys arent forced

Not all gay men have anal sex, so in theory some gay boys will be coerced into it in the same way some girls are

I love it when men use the women in their lives to manipulate other women into compliance! Speaking for the women in your life definitely indicates a high level of respect for their perspectives and preferences, and makes for a fascinating discussion that for sure no woman has ever had before.

Not all gay men have anal sex,

Indeed they don't. Be interesting to know whether the gay male community is so anti bum sex and the reminding men they don't have to do it. I suspect it's not, bit admittedly I don't read any articles about gay male sex. If everyone based their entire sex lives on their early fumblings and just gave up if it was not comfortable then none of us would probably be having this discussion.

I'm not sure what the objection is other than that you think articles notionally telling women the best way to have a pleasurable anal experience should come with a reminder that all sex acts should be consensual but btw men are all porn addled pervs and you know this because you are even reading this article, so you really have been probably pressured.

Haven't RTFT. I'm one who has no issue with couples trying different things in the bedroom, i actively & willingly participate in BDSM practices with DP.

This article has pissed me right off. I am all for girls being given info about different things, but even I agree this article is coming at it the wrong way. If you bled during vaginal sex you would rightly worry - a 'little' bit of blood during anal is NOT normal ffs.

Isn't it the BMJ article Datun?

Sorry, had it already been posted? I must've missed it.

Gay men having anal sex is irrelevant to the way it is portrayed in heterosexual porn.

Are there any articles telling heterosexual men and boys how to have anal sex?

Or if you take Teen Vogue and Cosmopolitan aimed at females, where are the articles telling women how to pleasure their men by inserting things into their rectums?

I know it would be awfully convenient for some people if we pretended that this isn't about straight men and their expectations of women, but it's about straight men and their expectations of women.

but it's about straight men and their expectations of women.

And the overwhelming number of women who don't want it. And the overwhelming number of men who don't care.

Elon that's the what, third time you've tried to steer this thread into another direction. I can see what you're trying to do so I'm sure others can.
But anyhow, this is in Feminist chat, you know, concerned with women. The topic at hand is hetero anal sex.