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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Cosmopolitan - Bleeding after anal sex

544 replies

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 03/02/2019 12:25

""It's not unexpected that [anal sex] would cause bleeding." Does that mean you should never put anything up your butt hole? No! It just means you need to take some extra precautions, like, say, a little thing called a shit-ton of lube"

"It's not a sprint, it's a marathon back there. And you want to make to the finish line without any bleeding or discomfort."

FFS

www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/amp9230630/is-bleeding-after-anal-sex-normal/?__twitter_impression=true

OP posts:
Datun · 03/02/2019 23:39

I can't remember. R0 will tell me at some point no doubt.

It's just not something that ever get switched around, is it? Get a man to give you an orgasm and then say great thanks. Night.

halfwitpicker · 03/02/2019 23:46

It's just all about the men isn't it.

I'm not easily shocked (or so I like to think) but that article mentions that anal can lead to bowel perforation. That's the sack that holds your bodily waste inside you, bursting. Anal sex can lead to that. Colostomy bags and all.

HelenaDove · 04/02/2019 00:19

*However as a nurse with 20 plus years the number of men/women i have met who are faecally incontinent due to anal sex is enormous.

I dont see that info being relayed to vulnerable young girls/ women in these articles.*

And i dont see it being brought up on threads by concern trolls who are often happy to berate others about what their weight/smoking/drinking is costing the NHS

Same with the infections that are a risk due to pubic hair removal.

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 00:24

It's just not something that ever get switched around, is it? Get a man to give you an orgasm and then say great thanks. Night.

At the risk of TMI, it has with me. Definitely not common, though.

MamaDane · 04/02/2019 00:27

Some women do enjoy anal sex though (speaking as a lesbian woman who likes to experiment with lesbian DP).
But obviously you should be aware of the risks and not feel pressured into doing it.

Datun · 04/02/2019 00:30

At the risk of TMI, it has with me. Definitely not common, though.

Me too, on the rare occasion.

But every single one of those men said the sex finished when they had an orgasm.

All of them.

How many women could say the same? (And then, when asked, wrack their brains trying to remember whether or not the man had).

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 00:31

Some people enjoy all kinds of things that the majority don't. Writing aimed at young people should not tilt towards framing minority preferences as the norm and concerns about the results of said preferences as something to be brushed off.

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 00:33

It's almost comical really, how self absorbed men are. At least until it results in women and girls being hurt because those men are so focused on what makes their penis happy that they forget that their sexual partners are people.

TheCatsServant · 04/02/2019 00:57

Someone asked for feedback from older women about the prevalence of anal sex in "the old days!". I'm early 60s and never had a boyfriend suggest it and neither did my wide circle of female friends, back then.

There must be surveys on sexual habits over several decades to compare then with now. But my very strong impression is that it's much more common now, normalised by porn. We were also proud of of our pubes and decorated them with flowers! The only shaving was to achieve a heart shape.

I also suspect porn is responsible for the now common use of lube during vaginal sex, since women in porn are "always ready and gagging for it" and in any case going to be violently penetrated ready or not, so young people now, having been brought up on hardcore porn, don't realize it can take time for women to become aroused enough for enjoyable penetration.

Slap on the lube...and the job's done.

Just my tuppence worth

sphagetti84 · 04/02/2019 01:07

I don't understand the topic. My ex gf used to love anal sex and had stronger orgasms as a result of it probably than with vaginal sex.

HelenaDove · 04/02/2019 02:05

You do realize that not all women are the same right? We are not identical dolls.

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 02:08

If one woman liked it then all women should be expected to like it, and therefore must be taught how. Those are the manrules.

workoutg · 04/02/2019 02:15

"If one woman liked it then all women should be expected to like it, and therefore must be taught how. Those are the manrules."

Who said that? Not me that's for sure.

Also "You do realize that not all women are the same right? We are not identical dolls." - Yes I do realise that. I just don't understand why some of these responses suggest that it is awful in any circumstances when plenty of women actually enjoy it. Btw, it wasn't just the one ex gf who liked it.

Poppins2016 · 04/02/2019 02:16

I always had the rule that if a man wanted anal sex with me I want to do it to him first with a dildo. Funny that they always refused....

Me too. I've also had conversations about anal sex with non sexual partners (good male friends).

In my hypothetical scenario, I've always stated the man should be on the receiving end of a dildo the size of his penis. Oh, the faces of horror that have been pulled!

Gives a new meaning to 'shouldn't dish it out if you can't take it'...

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 02:19

Oh, are we namechanging now? I never got the memo.

HelenaDove · 04/02/2019 02:19

have you namechanged between posting.

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 02:23

I'd really rather not hear all about some random's sex life, much less about what they think the experience was like for their former partners. Let people speak for themselves if they want to, speaking for them is creepy.

workoutg · 04/02/2019 02:23

i did, yes.

workoutg · 04/02/2019 02:26

Nothing 'creepy' about consensual sex whatsoever. As for 'what they think the experience was like for their former partners'...after 7 years with someone you kinda get an idea of what they enjoy ya know...

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 02:27

Twisting people's words in an attempt to manipulate is creepy too. As Maya Angelou said, when people show you who they are you should believe them.

workoutg · 04/02/2019 02:37

that's just silly...i was part of said consensual sex. I was also with the person for a very long time and know what they enjoyed/asked for. Let's face it, you likely don't like me talking about it because I'm male and want to use the 'creepy' tag as a shaming tactic. My original point stands...i don't really understand this thread when plenty of women out there do actually enjoy anal sex (one or two women have said so on here but didn't get grief as far as i can see).

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 02:41

Nah.

GirlDownUnder · 04/02/2019 02:54

spaghettiworkout as you’ve completely missed the point of this thread I’ll re-post the round up by NothingOnTellyAgain

It’s very short so won’t take you long:

That's totally irrelevant to the objections to the article

No mention std
Bleeding fine and normal
No mention consent
Only mention condoms briefly and not in protection context

The PP stuff about injury / damage, that is NEVER mentioned, in any article I have seen

TL;DR it’s nothing about women enjoying / not enjoying anal so you don’t need to prove that the two women you know did.

workoutg · 04/02/2019 03:38

GirlDownUnder, fair enough...its a pretty badly written/slightly weird article having just read it in full.. I would have thought it could have been shortened dramatically by saying 'no... bleeding isn't normal, use plenty of lube if you want to try anal sex so that you don't get any bleeding or injuries'. And yeah a bit about using condoms would be good.

jessstan2 · 04/02/2019 03:41

There is absolutely no reason for a woman to be on the receiving end of anal sex.

Just one word: OUCH!