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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Cosmopolitan - Bleeding after anal sex

544 replies

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 03/02/2019 12:25

""It's not unexpected that [anal sex] would cause bleeding." Does that mean you should never put anything up your butt hole? No! It just means you need to take some extra precautions, like, say, a little thing called a shit-ton of lube"

"It's not a sprint, it's a marathon back there. And you want to make to the finish line without any bleeding or discomfort."

FFS

www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/amp9230630/is-bleeding-after-anal-sex-normal/?__twitter_impression=true

OP posts:
BlancheM · 04/02/2019 11:58

God, Elon you really do have a bee in your bonnet about the 'grateful' comment which you deliberately misinterpreted and the fact PP said she's good looking. It seems to have inspired a deep anger/bitterness inside you.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 12:04

I am grateful for many things in life Smile

You seem to have hang ups about the word.

And seem to be quite caught up in it.

There are lots of questions and comments that have been directed at you that you are completely ignoring.

Like why you think that stuff about STDs / consent are immaterial in what you describe as "sex education" articles aimed at a fairly young demographic.

Like why you keep misquoting and misattributing quotes.

Like why you think everything is aimed at you.

Like why you think that everyone on every thread should need to agree / disagree explicitly with every comment everyone makes even though you ignore this yourself

I'm sure there are more

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 12:07

I'm not bitter about it at all, she could look like the back end of a bus for all I care. The point is that men should not be grateful just because a woman is willing to have sex with them, and women should not be grateful just because men are nice to them, you should expect men to be nice to you, if they are not very nice to you don't go to bed with them. It's a pretty low barrier and reminds me with the anything with a pulse comments. But anyway, enough of this I reckon the PP is not going to clarify this. If you are going to police attitudes to sex I'd say it's important to have healthy ones yourself, not just that men should be grateful for any female attention.

I had a few one night stands in my youth, they were all pretty shit and sex with someone you are in love with and know quite well is much much better, (and it helps being sober) if I had my way that's what I would teaching, but then I am old and boring I suppose.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 12:14

"Of course the first sexual act most couples attempt is PIV not anal."

No it's not
snogging
groping
masturbation / mutual
oral sex
fingering
etc

You need to expand your horizons on what "sex" means.

The focus on penetration as a definition of sexual activity is one that males tend to focus on and causes no end of issues for women and girls.

Also

Yes I am SURE that in info aimed at young gay men there is focus on consent and STDs / condoms / safety. Why the hell wouldn't there be?

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 12:15

I thought I did answer that, I said it is reasonable to assume that someone reading a sex education article wants to or might want to have sex. If every single article about sex has to come with a government warning about all the dangers of sex....and contraception.

STIs are on the rise fastest in the over 50s I read somewhere, so any articles about dating in readers digest should describe consent and contraception i suppose ?

BlancheM · 04/02/2019 12:16

But Elon I've seen many a time where the 'grateful' line has been used, even by men in response to questions women have asked for e.g., I saw on a documentary about labiaplasty, a group of men were asked if they would judge a woman based on the appearance of their vulva. Most looked mystified and said 'of course not, I'm just happy to be there!'. Another time on here, someone posted saying they'd started dating after a divorce and was feeling self conscious about her body and the general gist was, 'he'll probably be feeling much the same but will be happy he's seeing that side of you' (I'm paraphrasing).
To take that context and put a negative spin on it tells me you have your own agenda.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 12:17

" you should expect men to be nice to you, if they are not very nice to you don't go to bed with them"

Oh well that solves that then!

Let's kick all the cup of tea / consent / boundaries / stuff into the long grass.

Phew! And there I thought we had a problem with girls being coerced into sex they don't want or find painful, like always, and now with the added bonus that anal etc are on the table.

Elon please write to the BMJ and the schools people they will be pleased to find out that they were worrying for no reason, and that there is a v simple solution.

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 12:18

You need to expand your horizons on what "sex" means.

Groan, whatever. Personally I had PiV before I had my fanjo licked, didn't think that was unusual.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 12:18

Of course lots of men are nice to you UNTIL they get you alone / in bed

But that's maybe another thread.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 12:19

You had PIV before

Kissing
fumbling
etc?

Wow and yowzers.

No wonder you have some funny ideas about sex.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 12:22

I'm not sure what this has to do with the topic at hand TBH

You see no issue with an article aimed at a young demographic that is (your words) sex education

and has no mention of

consent
stds
condom use apart from in context of making it easier

and says bleeding is normal

that's fine and your perogative

most on the thread disagree with you

and have told you so, in accordance with the rules you yourself put in place on the thread
but are not actually adhering to

Wallywobbles · 04/02/2019 12:22

Dr Bum (he has an actual name) told me not to ever stick anything up anyone's bum especially my own.

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 12:32

Sure Nothing that's exactly what I said. Didn't personally feel nervous or think there was any big deal about a grope or snogging, yet to see instructional articles with doctors about having a grope. Look this is just silly you know exactly what I am saying.

BlancheM well exactly, it's Nothing who claims men are no longer like that. However men and young boys are allowed to have sexual preferences and saying they should just be grateful a woman is willing to have sex with them is not a healthy message. Even if you are so attractive men's eyes pop out or whatever it was.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 12:36

No I don't know what you are saying.

I am saying that focus on penetration with a penis as the meaning of "sex" is damaging for women and girls in many many ways.

That is a fairly standard feminist position.

FlyingOink · 04/02/2019 12:37

Yes I am SURE that in info aimed at young gay men there is focus on consent and STDs / condoms / safety. Why the hell wouldn't there be?

aimed at gay men

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 12:37

"Even if you are so attractive men's eyes pop out or whatever it was."

You see this sort of tihng.

You just make stuff up.

That is why people get at odds with you.

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 12:39

You said, "I was attractive, the men were grateful".

If you really see nothing unhealthy about this, the fair enough.

WokerThanWoke · 04/02/2019 12:40

Does anyone remember an article where a teenager said she would have anal sex with her boyfriend, whilst he was watching porn and she’d be crying in pain and hating it and she had no idea that it wasn’t normal? I can’t remember the article but i’ve never forgotten that bit.

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 12:40

I dinner your pardons Nothing you said they were awestruck. Lol.

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 12:41

Do be your even...

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 12:41

Oh whatever stupid phone.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 12:43

It's true.

I was attractive.

How they responded to me and treated me is not something I had control over.

That's how it was.

I had a good time. They did too.

I certainly did not say I was so atractive men's eyes would pop out. I was pretty. Not beautiful. Not gorgeous.

Why has this upset you so much?

Why does it anger you that I am grateful to be married to a lovely man?
Why does it anger you that when I was young, men were often grateful to be in my bed?

Lots of others understadn perfectly well what I meant.

I think maybe you have some hang ups.

By all means track down some men and tell them off for feeling lucky when they pull a pretty girl who takes them home for sex.

Dont' tell me off for honestly reporting my epxeriences.

Which were NOT all positive, by any means.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 12:46

"My husband still looks awestruck that he gets to see me with my clothes off."

You keep misquoting.

My husband tells me that he can't believe how lucky he is, a lot.
He does look quite awestruck when I get my kit off [grin[
This is good,isn't it? How a relationship should be.
In turn, I am sometimes aghast that I pulled him, and tell him so.
Maybe not for everyone, but it suits us.

You assertion that I said that men in general are awestruck by me is a LIE.
You see, you keep doing that.
People can see it and they don't like it.
That is why the majority of people on this thread are posting in oppostition to what you are writing.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 12:48

Just to be clear
Is this a fair summary of your stance

You see no issue with an article aimed at a young demographic that is (your words) sex education

and has no mention of

consent
stds
condom use apart from in context of making it easier

and says bleeding is normal

?

Would be grateful for a straight answer.

littlbrowndog · 04/02/2019 12:48

No need for justification nothing
Elon just derailing for some reason

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