So it’s happened...

[Beerincomechampagnetastes]

I knew it would and I’ve been dreading how I would deal with it.
My dd has been joined in her female boarding house by a young man called George.
George up until last term was a female.
I’m concerned for George and the pupils are all lovely and he’s getting a lot of support.
But I’m confused as to why he’s in the female boarding house?
Is this normal practice for schools?

There’s no condemnation weet the school is doing a good job and I’m very pleased. George is where he is, we’re just discussing the situation.

..I’m very pleased George is where he is.

Should read

No we have an issue with male violence.

And ‘condemnation’ is with regards to everyone having to pussy foot about and say ‘he/his/him’ and pretend that this child is a boy. Which they are not.

Weetabix

We all agree that the school is doing the right thing. What the OP doesn't want is George influencing her daughter and the other girls into transitioning too. That's how eating disorders spread.

With regard to pronouns, I'd be encouraging your daughter to use 'they' towards everyone.

George is where they should be. Nonetheless the rest of these children are being coerced into accepting something which they know is not true.

The days of formal strict harsh religious indoctrination have long since passed yet Sister Agatha and her arbitrary ruler have been replaced with something with the ability to inflict even crueler long term damage.

I’m actually very concerned about George.

My niece experienced a very difficult childhood and identified as a male for a period of time. As she’s grown and developed into a young woman she found her tribe, and now happily identifies as a ‘butch lesbian’.
My nieces lovely body is all intact and she was never given hormones etc and as a result can go on and have children if she chooses and be healthy and live a fulfilled life.
I’m very worried for our young people and the advice they receive and the irreparable damage they may do to there bodies as a result.

I feel complicit in George’s inner turmoil and it’s making me feel angry

I think this ^^ is probably why I made the thread. I just don’t know what to do about how it makes me feel.

We all agree that the school is doing the right thing. What the OP doesn't want is George influencing her daughter and the other girls into transitioning too. That's how eating disorders spread

Not only that. For me, it is also about gender and what it might teach the girls about stereotypes or the perceived limitations of being female, particularly if 'George', 'George's' supporters and parents are playing the 'George has always been a boy because he likes manly things - you know like football, status, privilege, etc. and doesn't want to be a weak, pink sparkly girl' card - and I've seen plenty on this, as well as transmen demanding that girls/women treat them with the same kind of reverence they are expected to treat boys/men with. FTS.

George's situation really isn't about you and your feelings.

No need for you to do anything at all.

I feel like it’s such a mind fuck for everyone. Not for everyone but that's a serious mind fuck for George. George can be told that it's ok to be male, can identify as male, change his name and his pronouns and his clothes. But George cannot live with the boys because George isn't one. What a message to send. But we all know George is safer with the girls and know why that is, because George is female. It's a mind fuck sure enough. Poor kid.

No need for you to do anything at all

Except to counter any mindless, genderist or patriarchal shit that might affect the OP's daughter and her friends and their own attitudes to being embodied as female.

I agree break none of my business really.

It is your business if your daughter is being forced to lie and accept something she knows isn’t true.

That’s emotionally abusive. Children must feel free to question everything and form their own views.

But George cannot live with the boys because George isn't one. What a message to send. But we all know George is safer with the girls and know why that is, because George is female. It's a mind fuck sure enough. Poor kid

And if it had been the other way, George becoming Georgina, I suspect that Georgina would also be bunked with the girls, because you know, safety dick privilege and all that.

DD's best friend at an all girls private school now has a classmate identifying as a boy.
DD "what I can't understand is if she wants to be a boy why doesn't she want to go to a boys school?"
I think that is the nub for many of these girls - I believe they are identifying out of a sexist, pornified, patriarchal world the only way they know how and who can blame them? But they still feel more secure among their girl peers.
I think it is right for schools to adopt a soft touch hope it's a phase approach and keep them safe, supported and protected. As long as they don't go along with it too enthusiastically as I'm sure some probably do, and push the agender.
You can keep your DD safe by making sure she understands biology, humans can't change sex, George probably has emotional/mental health problems - be kind but don't forget the truth type of approach.

Yes iused

I agree with everything you’ve said.

I guess it’s a question of when kindness becomes unreasonable.

Kids generally tell peers they’re pretty/ not fat etc to affirm the identity that that person wants to have. I’m kind of okay with the pronoun stuff etc as long as George is physically still understood to be a girl. But then, where do you draw the line?

they are identifying out of a sexist, pornified, patriarchal world the only way they know how so if you can’t beat them, join them? No way!!

Yeah fair point.

It seems obvious to me that George is not sleeping with the boys because if George got pregnant there would be a massive scandal. They could maybe cover sexual misconduct but a pregnancy? Not so easy.

Similarly if one of the boys transitioned, that child would stay in with the other boys rather than risk the chance (again) of a scandal bringing the school into disrepute.

That's the real reason surely; the given reason in my opinion is an outright lie.

Oops - cover up

I think it is right for schools to adopt a soft touch hope it's a phase approach and keep them safe, supported and protected. As long as they don't go along with it too enthusiastically as I'm sure some probably do, and push the agender.

^^ this. If George is still being treated as a girl, then other than going along with the name and pronouns out of politeness, George shouldn't be singled out for special treatment.

Be kind. Yes

Treating George as 'stunning and brave'. No

so if you can’t beat them, join them?*
*
Certainly not suggesting they Fekko.
But in so far as many people compare this to the new anorexia, there are similarities with girls trying to opt out of womanhood.
The question is how can schools manage it when even discussing ROGD/Social contagion is deemed phobic and denied.
Schools have so much legislation/child protection/ousted guidelines to balance its a wonder if any are able to hold the line of common sense.

Ofsted not ousted.