So it’s happened...

[Beerincomechampagnetastes]

I knew it would and I’ve been dreading how I would deal with it.
My dd has been joined in her female boarding house by a young man called George.
George up until last term was a female.
I’m concerned for George and the pupils are all lovely and he’s getting a lot of support.
But I’m confused as to why he’s in the female boarding house?
Is this normal practice for schools?

DD makes me very proud in that she’s very perceptive and empathetic. She cares greatly for people and I think she’s an amazing person. I trust her judgement and opinion.
Dd told me that George has had problems in the past (obviously I won’t go into them) but that he seems to be so much happier since the recent changes.
It’s very new and early days but I hope George’s happiness continues.
I agree with everything you said Gerry and it pretty much sums up my concerns.

Wow I seem to have picked up a deletion (can't remember what I wrote so I'm not sure what it was for).
My interpretation of this thread was just to discuss the situation, not to find an alternative solution for George. Pp fixating on "where do you want George to go then" or stating that posters hate trans people weren't helpful.
It's a situation that warrants discussion, and I think Beerincomechampagnetastes has hosted a reasonable and balanced debate on this thread.

Calvin but we don't know that G has gender euphoria or, more accurately, body dysmorphia. G could simply be very uncomfortable with their developing body or the roles imposed on females by our ever pornified society.

weed this thread is not about what you or calv have tried to make it.
You’ve continually attempted to derail the discussion and repeatedly made claims that are untrue.
I don’t find either of your contribution helpful, interesting or wanted.
You have added absolutely zero value to our discussion

That's a strong reaction OP.

It's exactly this sort of post that leads to FWR being regarded as hostile and unwelcoming or referred to as an echo chamber.

It's exactly this sort of post that leads to FWR being regarded as hostile and unwelcoming or referred to as an echo chamber.

Do you need a safe space pet? 😢

Hostile? Seriously? You must spend your life in a bubble, if that’s your definition of hostile. 🙄

Calvin but we don't know that G has gender euphoria or, more accurately, body dysmorphia. G could simply be very uncomfortable with their developing body or the roles imposed on females by our ever pornified society.

Yes I agree. We have no idea.

I think discussion about this is so important, but I am uncomfortable with vulnerable young people being used as specific examples. Young trans people already feel incredibly scrutinised and unless they have thrust themselves forward into the spotlight many just want to get on with their lives and we don’t need a thread every time a trans child exists. Even if no names have been mentioned there are identifying pieces of information.

This forum is incredible we have made so much progress and we are full of amazing women and the vast vast majority of discussion is helpful and productive, however I do think we need to be able to say when we are uncomfortable about things.
We are always saying that if we see anything close to the line it’s pulled up and that’s what I’m doing here.

The mere existence of a trans person does not warrant a panic.

we don’t need a thread every time a trans child exists
This is a slightly unusual situation in that the trans child is in a boarding house.
And for the OP, this is the first time their child has been asked to behave in a certain way towards a trans child.

The mere existence of a trans person does not warrant a panic.
There's no panic here.
Just a discussion.
You're just telling us not to be mean. It's not mean to discuss a situation. It's not hurting that child, who is oblivious to this discussion. It's not personal. And it certainly isn't a panic.
For me, the following ideas are relevant to this thread: understanding how it feels to have a trans child in your child's school who others are compelled to address as a boy, understanding that this might set a precedent for a trans child born male to stay in male boarding halls, the possibility of social contagion, the impact of requiring children to play along, the impact on the children of seeing adults playing along, the notion that it would be difficult to reverse a social transition if the child desisted, whether it is reasonable to expect the child to do sport etc with boys or not (and conversely a male born trans child doing sport with female children?), And finally the possible reasons for the transition - avoiding the burden of being female or dysphoria.
These are all reasonable discussion points and at no time has anyone been mean about a kid. We don't even know if OP used the real name.

All children matter - not just the special few

For me, the following ideas are relevant to this thread: understanding how it feels to have a trans child in your child's school who others are compelled to address as a boy, understanding that this might set a precedent for a trans child born male to stay in male boarding halls, the possibility of social contagion, the impact of requiring children to play along, the impact on the children of seeing adults playing along, the notion that it would be difficult to reverse a social transition if the child desisted, whether it is reasonable to expect the child to do sport etc with boys or not (and conversely a male born trans child doing sport with female children?), And finally the possible reasons for the transition - avoiding the burden of being female or dysphoria.

But we have zero information here by which to have the discussion. Literally all we know is that a child, born female is now identifying as a trans male but is staying in the girl's boarding house. Anything else will just be supposition.

Why is that a problem? I thought that was what we wanted? Yes. But isn't it odd that it only happens like that when the man concerned is female?

It means women are women
Men are women
Women who want to be men are women

Men are men
Women who want to be mean are not!

If women who wanted to be men were seen as men George would be in the mens dorm.

But no... we have inter trans discrimination! HATE CRIME PEOPLE! HATE CRIME!

Mean = men (great misper though )

Whenever this subject crops up the main thrust of the argument is always " we have nothing against trans people but they should remain within their birth sex facilities."

That's with regard to adults.

Children, as you well know, incite debate on here about ROGD. Fundamentalist genderists don't believe in it. Feminists believe it exists and is the result of social contagion.

So, when schools are concerned, the issues are two-fold: about which birth sex facilities should be used; about whether contagion is a concern for parents.

This is not difficult to grasp.

Yes. But isn't it odd that it only happens like that when the man concerned is female?

But we have nothing to base that on. We have no idea at all what the school policy would be if it was the other way around.

In this instance they have found a way to segregate by sex without getting themselves sued.

I feel really sorry for schools they can’t do right for doing wrong. If a pupil comes out as trans there is no action or non action they can take that won’t upset someone.

I run a small business that has services that are just for women and I live in fear of the day this comes up.

So where should they go then lang ?

Do we take them out of education and ostracise children who have a high rate sexual abuse and other mental health issues?

ROGD is a symptom of a bigger issue, surely a better way would be to create better mental health provisions and support networks within schools. Teach empowerment for women rather than just removing the trans children and hoping it will go away.

LangCleg

But the OP did not raise the issue of social contagion in her initial post.

She asked if it was right that this pupil stayed in the girl's boarding house.

It means women are women
Men are women
Women who want to be men are women

You have no idea how this school would deal with a trans woman student. They may have accepted whole heartedly the view on here - that students are segregated according to sex.

They simply can't do right for doing wrong in your view can they?

If they had placed this student in with the boys everyone would be up in arms because of the precedent that would set if a boy wanted to trans.

As it is, they have done exactly what you require and segregated by sex. But that's still wrong because...?

The concern about social contagion can apply to many issues - eating disorders, self harm etc. Hopefully a decent boarding school will have structures in place to deal with this. Presumably parents will make sure that they agree with the pastoral care provided by the school before entrusting their child to their care?

Calvinsmam please don't project onto my words. Where did I recommend exclusion of anyone? I was simply pointing out the dual nature of the issues raised. Read my post again, please.

Weetabixandshreddies - same to you. Please do not project onto my posts.

Oh dear! Did I posit a possible Truth you don't agree with?

You made an awful lot if assumptions about posters here. Yet insist other posters can not do the same in a debate / discussion.

I still hold that the disparity between this school and the position taken by, say the Girl Guides, throw up a stark difference in how institutions treat transgender individuals.

You can make as many 'what if?' points as you like, but the disparity exists.

I’m not projecting words.

There are literally only three options, they are put in with their birth sex, they are put in with their new gender identity, they are taken out of the school and put into another form of education.

LangCleg

I have not projected anything on to your posts. This is exactly what you posted

So, when schools are concerned, the issues are two-fold: about which birth sex facilities should be used; about whether contagion is a concern for parents.

I replied

But the OP did not raise the issue of social contagion in her initial post.

She asked if it was right that this pupil stayed in the girl's boarding house.

The concern about social contagion can apply to many issues - eating disorders, self harm etc. Hopefully a decent boarding school will have structures in place to deal with this. Presumably parents will make sure that they agree with the pastoral care provided by the school before entrusting their child to their care?

Where is the projection?