The ad wasn't saying most men are predatory or violent it was saying most men could do more to challenge this sort of behaviour in other men and challenge the culture which condones and facilitates it.
I agree with this message, more men could and should challenge these things.
we need to teach our boys not to be boys
The message was that we need to teach boys that violence is not a necessary part of being a boy and that we need to stop excusing it. This is important because otherwise they'll grow up thinking violence is OK and it's not. Obviously.
I haven't analysed the racial mix of actors but I wonder why your husband has difficulty identifying with the good guys in the advert because some of them are black? What do you suppose it's like for black people watching ads, tv programmes, films etc? Do you think black people should only identify with black characters, however they are portrayed? That would be very limiting. I don't think anyone who likes the ad has brought up race. It's about men and masculinity, not race.
I don't know any men like the ones on the ad- at all!
You probably do. We all probably do. Most men are not violent or predatory but very few will challenge other men on their behaviour. Has your husband really always challenged a rape joke or an acquaintance objectifying women? Would he even notice or is it just normal?
You also probably know at least one or two men who are actually violent and/or predatory themselves. They're generally able to control their behaviour and can rein it in when they're with colleagues or at a family barbecue so you might not have any way to know. Someone's doing the violence though. We've enough men locked away that if it was just a few the problem would be solved by now.
And yes I will let my son (he's one) do boy things- run around, be active, climb, explore. He will be taught to be masculine as he is a boy and there is a certain biological element there. I want him to be able to provide for himself, nurture his family, treat his girlfriend well and protect her- all those things we see as masculine.
The 'boy thing' the advert addressed was fighting. Hitting another child. Not running around, being active, climbing or exploring. Those are all OK, why would you think otherwise?
My daughter loved all those things when she was little and she didn't need teaching. Other children, male and female, will prefer quieter activities and that's fine too. If your son turns out to love arts and crafts or reading or imaginary play please don't 'teach' him out of these because of misguided ideas about masculinity. As others have said, if it was biological you wouldn't have to teach it.
Providing for yourself, nurturing your family and treating your partner well are necessary life skills for everyone, male or female.