Trans Widows Escape Committee 2- The Trans Widows Strike Back..

[TinselAngel]

The previous thread is nearly full, so here is a shiny new one.

I'm thrilled that this took off enough to merit a second thread.

This is a support area for women who are, or have been, in unhappy relationships with male partners who are transitioning, or exploring their "gender identity"

If you are in that position-

1. You are not alone
2. It is not a situation that you should be expected to tolerate, let alone celebrate.
3. There is always a way out, if you want it. The thread is called Escape Committee for that reason.

Your ex didn’t warn your kids he was going on the telly?

That’s all shades of fucked up.

Hi,

I had to step away for a while, it all got too much. But count me in for any book/radio etc.

My STBXH is making it difficult to divorce him. He co-owns one of the country's largest advertising agencies, so I'm scunnered.

Watching folk interact with his fetish everyday, thinking they are being "woke" and progressive, when I know he's getting off in it, well on a good day it is like watching idiots buy timeshares.

It seems to me that there is a huge blind spot here, STBXH can be as vile as he likes, if he's wearing a dress and simpering.

I would consider participating in a book but I wouldn't know how to go about organising one.

What a great idea - and sorry if I sounded pushy earlier.... the tension between wanting the world to know what this is like (I can't quite shake that off), and the bone-chilling fear of retribution for me or the kids - is a tough call. I would also be 'in'.... food for thought.
Cadanita1 I am gobsmacked by this man's behaviour towards you and your children. Absolutely shocking. Interesting that if these programmes showed both sides, I've no doubt great swathes of people would revise their 'heroic and brave' impression...

I want to write that book and if we all put our stories forward in our own words I would gladly write it. Need to speak to solicitor first though. I wouldn't want to cause any unnecessary trouble for anyone.

Some of the details are so familiar though. There's so much cross over in the behaviour of these men.

DH is a transvestite but he knows he is a man. He knows it's a fetish. Why does he know that but others flip over into believing they are biological women? Where are the studies? What is going on?
to all in this mess.

If we did an anthology, each person who has this happen to them open up to the public tell their personal story from their point of view. I'm not and I never homophobic what I am is kevin phobic. I think if we did this we need a psychologist on board who can deal with the psychological, emotional and sometimes physical abuse perpetrated on us. I do not have a problem with young people who know and deal with their issues and we would make that very clear.
We could a book on our perspective and our experiences.

We could then write one from the perspective of men who feel like this but choose not to go done that route for the sake of their loved ones.

A third from the perspective of the young people who are trapped in the wrong body.

My stbx mother in law told me she asked Kevin why he'd married me and had our children, he admitted that we were his beard of normality and he had to wait for his dad to die before he did it. So my marriage as it turns out was a sham for 24 and a half years. A ticking time bomb waiting to explode in my face and our children are the collateral damage from his long term plans.

I was asked to call his mum (havent spoken to her in 4 years) the other night because of the lies, half truths and ommitances he has perpetrated on his own blood relations and us. Also the lies he has been feeding them about me and he told his family that my children were all on board and accepting of his new persona......He hasn't even told them. I know he's had full gender reassignment because it's come up in the ancillary relief proceedings but none of his family have been told.

waves.
Hello all! I'm a new member/old member with a new name and I'm in the process of compiling stories for a book. The stories will be anonymous. I have publishing experience and know how it's done; I'm thinking of a free ebook which will be available on Kindle and other digital platforms, as well as a thin Print on Demand book which will sell for around $£EUR 2.50, profits to a charity such as Fair Play for Women. I haven't the time right now but I'll be back -- this is just to say hello and let you know!
I've been in contact with a couple older members who can verify me. Obviously, I need to stay undercover for a while or for ever!

I don't want psychiatrist to analyse us but to analyse their behaviour. I've spent this last 5vyears thinking everything he did was my fault but I'm at the other side now and tbh that TV program has made me understand that it was never my problem to begin with. My children and I are the victims of a narcissistic personality who used and abused us for years. So I admit at this moment I'm feeling a little militant!!!!

You haven't been in touch with me, alice.

I think rather than responding to a poster soliciting for stories, it’s probably best that our widows have time to decide what they want to happen and then interview several potential editors/experts who can provide a contributory chapter.

There is a crowdfunding publishing website:

unbound.com/

It comes with editorial and production support.

(I fear it might be Woke though.)

And IMO, this is worthy of more than just an ebook.

Yes I'd prefer it not to be something amateurish. Christine Benvenuto's book was so good because she was a writer anyway.

cadanita

I'm so sorry you were treated that way.

I have a cousin. He married a lovely lady, who'd had a previous married annulled by the church as she had been the victim of domestic violence by her ex (which is rare i think). He was with her for years, until his dad died. He then came out as gay and found a young partner. She had cancer. He wasn't allowed at her funeral by her family.

He is a bully. His dad was a bully.

He is arrogant, bombastic, fraudulent in everything he does. Life / work, the lot. No one cares about his sexuality, people care about his treatment of others.

*the annulment was rare

Violence less so

I'm not sure raising money for a gender critical charity would do the hypothetical book any favours either.

Totally agree with TinselAngel nothing amateurish! Has any one thought of starting a charity helping specifically women in our situation. One that can help woman find their confidence to escape and maybe if we had enough backers help women financially trapped to make that move forward?

I've thought about it, but wouldn't know how to go about it.

Let's look into. I think we should be standalone we wouldn't want to be associated with headcases or far right movements. We wouldn't want our group being used for others gains and we most definitely do not want to be labelled trans or homophobic

This idea that I am suddenly transphobic or homophobic, accused of hating groups of people, because I'm the victim of one man's abuse is absurd.

But an absurdity designed to make my experience not count. It's a bit like attacking a rape victim because she might have once worn a skirt or said she liked sex.

My STBXH is an ad man. So knows how to sell a story.

DH is a transvestite but he knows he is a man. He knows it's a fetish. Why does he know that but others flip over into believing they are biological women?

How did the old joke go? What separates transvestites from trans women? Two years.

I believe that the more they indulge in it, the more it becomes an obsession. And we know how men are with their sexual obsessions.

Birdbandit I wasn't saying that we were or transphobic or homophobic. I was trying to say that we wouldn't want our cause hijacked for other people's agendas

Cadanita1 "He tried to push me out of a moving car and at one point push me down the stairs, our kids were there for that one."

Did you feel able to go to the police about the violence?

"He said he'd left it up to me because he was too busy." What a fucking coward.

Italiangreyhound I wasn't brave enough although my kids wanted me to. Greatest mistake of my life.