Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

[boatyardblues]

That's where I want to live right now. Home of the Bluestocking pub and the Shady Pines, the favoured retirement home of gin-swilling, cantankerous elderly gender crit feminists. It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague and is a haven from PoMo fuckwittery. Anyone else in?

Oh yes to Grit! My favourite rock (apart from
Bon Jovi).

I'd offer my services as a nurse but pretty sure we'll cure all ills with witchcraft.

How are your poultice-making skills? I have plenty of cobwebs in my house that I can offer for the blend.

Twisted
"Curing all ills with witchcraft"
I'm so glad some of us are keen to make a potion or two.

Stealthsquirrel said she has the vital ingredients.

I thought you all might like to know that our lovely village Badley fuckitt will be switching on its Christmas lights tonight.

The snow is gently falling, the snow plough has been working just fine.
The roads and footpaths have all been cleared to enable access to all who wish to visit.

Enjoy the wonderful festive ambience.
You all deserve it after such a busy week.
I would love to see Martina pop in the Blue stocking pub. She would be most welcome.

(Nods to Boatyardblues)

Excellent news. Will there be a festive village show tomorrow or Xmas Eve?

Comic recitations? Songs? Special performances?

Might I propose a couple of items:

twitter.com/CuriousUkTelly/status/1075902212713447425/video/1

Will there be a rousing choir singing The Vagina Anthem perhaps...?

I was hoping for some rousing Hyrrrs not hymns: feminist Christmas Carols :

To the tune of Royal David's City

More than half of working women
Have been sexually harassed
Such as scary ass statistic
Surely belongs in the past
Banter's not a good excuse
"Lolz" can constitute abuse

www.culturewhisper.com/r/lifestyle/hyrrrs_not_hymns_feminist_christmas_carols/10731

Well arran, the lights are on and the snow is falling.
There can be a village show tomorrow if there are enough of us.
It rather depends on how busy tonight will be .

Me?
I'll be sat at the bar looking, shagged pensive.
I'm afraid I bailed out of MN for a day or two, this transborg thing has really pissed me off.

Thanks for reanimating the thread Wrath. I’d never make a decent Lady Mayoress. I’m far too slack. I’m up for carol singing around the village tomoorow night, as long as we finish up in the pub.

The vagina anthem?

Lights are on, snow is falling
Badley Fuckitt's transforming
A marvellous sight
We're happy tonight
Talking in our women's wonderland

All the things that are absurd
Have no place in this new world
We're rational sorts
At nonsense we snort
Talking in our women's wonderland

Additional verses anyone?

Oh well done Arran! You’ve got us off to a cracking start.

That's a great anthem terry I don't know how that one passed me by.

I hereby declare the Badley Fuckitt anthem is..... Drum roll please....

That one.
Voted by two of us.

At Christmas time, the women are all working
Keeping all lazy tikes from shirking
Tryin' to get the dinner to perfection
Keeping all the trouble out the way

Later on
When they're sleeping
And they're all soporific

We're happy to say
It's a wonderful day
When we're talking in our womens wonderland

I think Badley Fuckitt is a Christmas wifework-free zone. Nowt wrong with bought mince pies, a cobwebby lounge, an Iceland rolled turkey breast, Aunt Bessies potatoes and every present loosely wrapped in tissue paper and bunged into 79p gift bags from The Card Factory. You only move to Badley Fuckitt when you’ve said fuck it to female socialisation. If that means you only write 3 cards this year and your kids will need learn to embrace a Cadburys selection box, a tangerine and some nuts in a sock with thankful hearts, so be it.

I have never given birth to another human being but I fucking love the line " we are women with vaginas, we gave birth to all you fools"...so very many fools!!!

Yay for the Vagina Anthem!!!!

Oh lord and butter. I'm homesick already. If the rents aren't too high, I'm moving in and staying and never leaving. I'm not much use on the whole, but I do know plants. I could assist the witches.

Quixote - We’ve already set up a portal that allows you to slip between Badley Fuckitt and the naice biscuit aisle in the supermarket if you need to keep a habd in with your regular life. Now my kids are older and spend much of their time gaming/watching YouTube, I reckon I coukd get away with only popping back at mealtimes and to attend parents’ evenings.

Hand... could...

A portal? Fucking brilliant, I'm on my way with the Christmas shop - gin, red wine, coffee liqueur, coffee, tea, brandy cream, ready made pigs in blankets and stuffing, and cava.

Anyone who'd like to join me for a carefully curated Best Bits of Christmas Lunch is most welcome. We'll be eating off paper plates.

We can have homemade mince pies, Yule log, damson flapjack etc as I'm pretty sure there are members of the community who genuinely enjoy baking.

We've got a cupboard somewhere in BF reserved somewhere for storing the gift bags and tissue paper to be reused in subsequent years, presumably?

In an ideal world without a job, commute etc I'd totally do all those things. I love baking, but work, cleaning and buying tons of crap seems rather to have taken over

But if I can come round and be appreciative I will. Can bring home made sloe gin...

Do not go short of home-baking. In addition to the usual extensive range of fruit cakes, the mince pies are made with Eliza Action recipe mincemeat, and there are several varieties of stollen.

Many varieties of Christmas cookies (including a very seasonal one with fresh cranberries).

Lots of Christmas Jam (quince-based) and various preserves.

We'll be eating off paper plates.

Liking your style teawamutu - you’ll fit right in.