Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

[boatyardblues]

That's where I want to live right now. Home of the Bluestocking pub and the Shady Pines, the favoured retirement home of gin-swilling, cantankerous elderly gender crit feminists. It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague and is a haven from PoMo fuckwittery. Anyone else in?

Erm.. I can skin rabbits..

I can skin pheasants (because I’m too lazy to pluck them) and gut fish (diing a kenon face the whole time because it disgusts me).

doing a lemon face...

It also works the other way, so we can access galleries and mainstream culture when we feel the need.

Has anyone actually been through the first portal I installed upthread? (Just click the void...).

I'm definitely up for the kayaking, btw, particularly if there's not enough wind for dinghy sailing.

Oh sorry I missed the portal. I feel bad now - thank you.

Ooh I never thought of skinning a pheasant. Clever.

Clever errol

The other portal is just because I couldn't find suitable public access to the biscuit aisle.

which tangentially reminds me, I'm pretty sure BF is a sort of larger version of the 'room of requirement', Floisme.

I also suspect that the BF library connects to many other points via L-space. With libraries closing I'm guessing you can gain access from Waterstones etc nowadays.

Reading about this fabulous village puts me in mind of Hinge & Brackett if anyone else recalls the Dear Ladies

Twitter-free mobile blackspot with a preponderance of people who are, or have been mothers is the antithesis of a cool place to be, surely?

I feel it would rapidly gain a sort of Arsenic and Old Lace reputation - we'd be crazed women, desperate to feed people, roaming the countryside with picnic baskets full of baked goods and other snacks.

I'm happy to lifeguard from a kayak for those who want to sample the delights of outdoor swimming.

I'd be thrilled to be with other women who kayak!

Errol
Hahaha
That's amazing, I never knew it was possible.

I was in Tesco's yesterday.
There is definitely a portal, it's a vertical line

with a christmas advert banner separating the everyday biscuits from the posh biscuits.

I would have taken a photo but cctv would have exposed me.

Myself and the War Horse would definitely benefit from learning archery skills. I don't think she'd like so much but I would definitely join in some kayaking myself. This is shaping up to be a great little village. Feel like I'm going to learn loads of useful and interesting things.

Kayaking and broadsword together will be very useful, I'm sure.

I just need to sharpen the paddle blades to a keen edge

I love kayaking, rarely get chance to go, though. Not enough experience to teach beyond the basics, but enough to have fun. Happy to swap for brush-up sailing lessons, haven't done that since I was a teenager.

I love kayaking, rarely get chance to go, though.

If I could spend part of every day in a boat then I would...

Feel I should mention that I forage from kayaks. For several weeks during the Summer/Autumn I eat kgs of blackberries and I've been known to eat hop shoots as Poor Man's Asparagus. (I like to think the hops grow along the banks because they fell off when being transported by the canal boats.)

You keep foraging arran and I'll turn your bounty into jam. I'm a demon at jam-making and also make my own mincemeat. I'm sure a Badley Fuckitt brand would go down a storm and bring in some foreign exchange.

You keep foraging arran and I'll turn your bounty into jam.

Excellent. I'll acquire the skill of crayfish traps - only the aggressive invaders who are supplanting the native ones, destroying water banks and waterways, of course.

foragedfoods.co.uk/how-to-catch-signal-crayfish/

If I could spend part of every day in a boat then I would...

Me too. Circumstances have kept me off the water entirely this year, bar two very happy hours in a rowing boat with DH and DD. I'm pining for fjords, or lakes, or any body of water large enough to indulge my Ratty tendencies. Foraging from a kayak sounds wonderful.

Definitely up for that! Yes, absolutely needs to be swimmable/navigable water nearby, for so many reasons. And if we're isolated otherwise, all the running & walking routes are safe too - wear your headphones and run at night to your heart's content.

And all the off road cycle routes. Though I suppose, because BF only welcomes careful drivers, it will be safe to cycle on the roads.

Excellent. I'll acquire the skill of crayfish traps

Is crayfish paste or potted crayfish a thing? Just thinking of items to stock in our Visitors' Centre like the National Trust.

Crayfish lends itself to the same sort of recipes as many other crustaceans so it's fine on that score.

Lancaster Smokehouse and comparable gourmet producers offer crayfish pate so it's definitely an item that would justify its shelf space in the Visitors' Centre.

www.lancastersmokehouse.co.uk/smoked-fish-pate?product_id=664

If the portal could also manage to drop us kayakers off by the sea, we could also bring back very fresh fish for delectable meals and chowders for the Visitors' Food Court (however that's manifested in the pub/teashop/deli/Visitors' Centre). Also - sea vegetables!

In the library is there a copy of the city of ladies, or would you like me to donate one?

Please can I come?
Previously known as PerverseConverse until the Christmas thread got me.

I definitely agree with the bookshop, and insist on the pub doing veggie lasagne and chips.

I'd offer my services as a nurse but pretty sure we'll cure all ills with witchcraft.

I'm a pretty good baker though. Excellent cupcakes.