Allow prostitution in care homes

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This reads like a spoof article, but the information has come from Royal College of Nursing guidance:

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6425741/Sex-guide-care-home-residents-advises-nurses-help-OAPs-download-PORN-use-sex-toys.html

What about nurses, other residents and the prostitutes. I still thought that prostitution was illegal in the U.K.?

Sorry if the link isn't clicky, I'm not very tech savvy.

Ok so as I've said before, I'm fairly new to this feminism game. So I just wanted to reiterate that in case of offence, because I'm still learning.

When I was much younger I was of the opinion that prostitution had a valid role in society, mainly to provide an outlet for men so (a) their wives/partners didn't have to perform acts they weren't comfortable with (b) dudes that couldn't get laid had somewhere to get off so they weren't out raping random women. Yes I was incredibly young, naive, and stupid.

I do feel quite torn about the difficulties faced by people with disabilities. A dear friend of mine works providing in home care and outings for them. From what she has told me at times, they can be rather highly sexual. I'm not sure what the solution would be in this situation? Obviously the safety and dignity of all residents in a care home should be paramount and it's not certainly not the responsibility of staff to organise this type of thing.

Retirement homes are a different story - my DH Grandma was in one for several years (RIP) she was quite feisty, according to her there was great competition among the ladies for the vastly outnumbered men. I spoke with her quite a lot since her sons living far away, decided to put her close to DH and I, and as the sahm it became my responsibility to check in on her, liaise with administration. We often went as a family with the boys to join her for a Sunday lunch or weeknight dinner (residents loved seeing the kids) during those times we could actually witness some of the flirting and carrying on, all seemed quite consensual. Unfortunately seeing how poorly a lot of retirement homes treat the residents, I don't have much faith that those with abusive history are flagged and monitored. It's definitely an issue.

Isn't it the case that dementia can be accompanied by a loss of inhibitions? So that far from having legitimate needs satisfied some elderly men or indeed women will be facilitated to act in a way which would have horrified their younger selves.

I probably should add this was semi independent living
All had their own apartments. Very different to when they are in more supervised care due to vastly deteriorated health and or dementia which can be a whole different scenario.

That loss of inhibitions also means that discretion is unlikely to be happening, so again, what about the staff, and the other residents?

Here is Tuppy Owens, founder of TLC and Outsiders. She has been really instrumental in getting public sympathy for prostitution via disabled people. She organised this event in Manchester.
www.mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/300573576-horny-disabled-people-get-little-tlc-intimate-manchester-luncheons

Here she is interviewed by Tom O'Carroll, founder of the Paedophile Information Exchange (PIE).
ianpace.wordpress.com/tag/tuppy-owens/

She is also founder of the Sex Maniacs Ball and the sexual freedom coalition. She was very vocal in objecting to the obscenity laws that John Ozimek (later Jane Fae) took issue with.

She is a friendly female face of the sex industry.

Whoa. LikeDust that's some extremely interesting connections. Just the other week I was driving home from baseball training with DS2 when an interview came on the radio with a sex worker (using her self description) discussing her 'adventures' some funny, some really moving. Tired driving on dark windy road, not the time to fiddle with changing channel, very awkward listening with 14 yo. Thankfully distracted with phone. The interviewee came across friendly and personable too.

Here is a review of Ozimek's book written for CAAN (Consenting Adults Action Network) in The FWord not sure if it is at the point the whole site drank the Koolade.
thefword.org.uk/2010/09/beyond_the_circ/

I have chatted at length with a woman (from Manchester) who was really put off disability rights activism because there was a strong CAAN presence. She was instinctively opposed to the sex industry and disabled people such as herself being seen as a 'kink' for the pervy dudes. She had no place to go for more feminist antiporn/prostitution disability rights activism.

Tuppy ? Tuppy ?

These dolts even have to have a sex name, don't they ? Arsehole.

Some advocates just really seem determined to access vulnerable people. JFC. Really rethinking my original opinion now.

Some advocates just really seem determined to access vulnerable people

Yes and it is generally pretty sexist. It is all about bolstering penis entitlement. Very few women are having their sexuality pandered to and in the case of the woman I spoke about, she said that there were a couple of women who would claim to be into kink being very outspoken in a way that made it difficult to raise objections.

I agree that the small minority of women who enjoy sex work and appear not to be harmed by it are freeloaders

like the factory that dumps all it's polluted effluent into the river
Makes a profit and offloads all the damage

Here's Becky Adams who got an Outsiders award (Tuppy Owens founded Outsiders)
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2260701/Madam-Becky-Buckinghamshire-open-British-brothel-mental-physical-disabilities-including-boys-autism-injured-soldiers.html

Well I'm sure sex workers really enjoy giving a blow job to a doubly incontinent man, and I'm sure this notion panders to heterosexual males only.

As Fermat said. If it's gone it's gone. I can no longer give birth. I can no longer breast feed. I no longer have periods. That part of my sexuality has finished.

Personal care is messy business. It involves wiping shit up and changing clothes and sheets. This for men who are not considered frail, elderly or dementia patients.

I heard the nurses in the crimean and first world war were happy to give the returning disabled or dying soldiers a hand or blow job.

and?

Only the Crimean and WWI? Nothing for the veterans of The Boer Wars, the Zulu Wars, The Boxer Rebellion, The Madhist Uprisings, The Bhutan, Anglo-Persian, the Opium Wars?

Even if it were true, it is completely irrelevant to the discussion here. The individual choice of one nurse to carry out that act is not prostitution.

lass

No idea, those were just the ones I remember reading about. Only stuck in my mind because of Crimean, and wondered if it was something flo did.
I don't think it is irrelevant, it shows that some people unable to do it for themselves need help.

it shows that some people unable to do it for themselves need help

I can see that, for instance, people unable to feed themselves need help, but does it follow that people unable to masturbate themselves need help?

Are you saying that a nurse providing hand relief is in the same category as a nurse helping someone to eat, ie that it should be considered part of normal duties for a nurse?

That's grim Romany I bet they got flashbacks for the rest of their lives after doing that.

this is just a trojan horse maneuver to extend the category of nursing/care work so that it includes sex work

A guy with mental health issues lived on a boat in the marina. Once a month a prostitute would visit him, all paid for by social services. He actually had a brochure and would pick which one he wanted. The other lads and staff in the marina were surprised that this went on. After the act they would drink in the local bar. One of the girls got chatting to the staff about it, was quite upfront and said it was all above board. Someone took exception to this and made serious waves with the MP and anyone else who would listen, he had the paperwork as proof. This boat owner was stopped from having this service as a result of all the fuss.

It is a real can of worms they are opening here.

It is a real can of worms they are opening here
If providing sexual gratification is seen as a normal part of care duties then we will have 'comfort women' provided by the state and working for low wages, and those who refuse this work may be denied benefits etc

That's grim Romany I bet they got flashbacks for the rest of their lives after doing that
but I think Romany's point is that hand relief is a natural and compassionate thing for a nurse to do for an injured man
or did I get that wrong?

Nobody needs to have an orgasm, in the way they need food or shelter. If they can't give themselves one and nobody else is enthusiastic about doing so, too bad.

From the article:

One of case studies included a patient who asked nurses to help with masturbation, but was refused because staff felt 'ill-equipped to deal skillfully' with their request.

The main issue here isn’t that the nursing staff is “ill equipped” to “skillfully” masturbate a patient, it’s that the nursing staff are being sexually harassed.

The leaflet advised giving the pensioner a mechanical masturbation device and explaining how to use it.

I am a nurse, and nope, that is not my job to demonstrate the use of sex toys or masturbate patients.