Allow prostitution in care homes

[JoggerBottom]

This reads like a spoof article, but the information has come from Royal College of Nursing guidance:

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6425741/Sex-guide-care-home-residents-advises-nurses-help-OAPs-download-PORN-use-sex-toys.html

What about nurses, other residents and the prostitutes. I still thought that prostitution was illegal in the U.K.?

Sorry if the link isn't clicky, I'm not very tech savvy.

1. If it's a care home, it's staffed by care workers, not nurses. Nursing homes have nurses, although still the bulk of the staff will be care workers. Doesn't change the issues, just annoys me when the newspapers always say nurses.

1. What about single housebound people?Should we be offering them prostitutes, or buying them porn mags? What's so special about care homes?

1. That Reg and Mary situation is fucked up. I would hate to be forced into a position where I have to collude in someone else's infidelity.

Payment is coercion. Coerced consent is not consent. Not consent is rape. Hth.

You (general you) treat your sexual desires like all mature people should. With self control and respect for yourself and your partner (and your family/nurses!) If you can't do that, then I don't feel sorry for you - I feel sorry for the people you're abusing.

Having sex isn't a right. Access to porn isn't a right. Men have been playing the pity card forever. Tough. Shit.

Oh no. IT's BACK!

Remember the PIE pamphlet Tatchel contributed to?

Tuppy Owens who did an article with founder Tom O'Carrol in the same pamphlet is really pro sex industry and pushes it as a human right for disabled people. She recruits members of her Outsiders dating group for disabled people to picket for sex industry interests.

Catherine Stephens who had/has (?) an agency for providing prostituted women to disabled men is also very pushy on this issue.

It's a cunning ploy to make punters seem harmless.

Seems like their bullshit is trickling down.

It's only coercion if not sought and the recipient has no other option. Again perhaps it's only my involvement in the BDSM side but I enjoyed sex work and the pros (some of whom have sexual contact with clients, some of whom don't) who make a career out of it enjoy it to. I was a pro sub and I was certainly not coerced.

Also self control is surely meaning limiting sexual behaviour to a private space, ie your own room with a do not disturb sign up?

Yes it's a wedge issue. Just think about the implications of establishing the principle that adult men have a right to sex which overrides the rights of people who aren't adult men to not have unwanted sex or to work in an environment free from sexual demands

Another argument for the Nordic model. No care worker can be required to facilitate the purchase of sex if it's a criminal offence.

paI’d be interested to know how this piece of work came about- did care home workers see an issue and lobby the RCN to produce guidelines, was it families of residents?? Just exactly who is pushing the agenda to annihilate the boundaries of women (it is mainly women who work as carers). On another note how will care home owners write this into job descriptions when staff are often already hard to retain - staff needed for care duties including procurement of prostitutes, assisting patients to have fulfilling sex lives.
It may be a home for residents but it is a workplace for the poor staff who have to work there. Actually what about other residents too or does the need for men to have sex outweigh everything?

Another who agrees with Fermats.
Desiderata says "Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth".
Which includes fucking prostitutes.
Fucking prostitutes is not a human right.

Yes, I'd love to know about employees contracts, Chewy.

Pharamcist wants an opt out from providing the MAP? Fine, we uphold their right to their own moral views. And the people affected are only women, after all.

Care worker on minimum wage (predominantly women) wanting an opt out from colluding in providing prostitutes? What's the betting the answer is "very much not fine, sunshine, you need the dosh now suck it up." After all, in this case, the people affected are men, and heaven forfend anything get between a man and his god-given right to have an orgasm, whatever the cost.

Payment is coercion. Coerced consent is not consent. Not consent is rape. Hth
YY

Posters frequent this board quite often with tales of "oh I lurved my prostirution work it really gave me my jollies" but most people don't buy it (excluding users of prostitutes) because it's blindingly obvious what's involved.

But why does it have to be all about men's orgasms? Presumably the prostitutes are more likely for men but it also discusses porn & masturbation.

Given there's a thread on here about why vibrators are better than men- given the success of 50shades etc- given women live longer on average... Why is this considered all about men's orgasms? Presumably because women's libidos have always been downplayed.

This is about sex & sexuality in a care home environment. Women & men should have access to masturbation, pornography in their residence, as long as boundaries are enforced around privacy. Surely a do not disturb sign would prevent any offended parties.

I guess the trouble is believing anyone has a view opposing your own on this board. Women cannot possibly want to engage in sex work here. Because a lot of women wouldn't, no one can.

I'd sooner sex work than cleaning jobs tbh. There's nothing wrong with cleaning, I'm just not very good at it and find it a lot of hard work for not enough pay... But obvs that means I'm not a feminist because my preferences aren't exactly in line with what they 'should' be or something

I think it's lovely, just because you are old doesn't mean you should stop having sex.
The research from man Uni stated that some had asked for prostitutes, not that they were suggesting it.
A move towards the do not disturb signs and double beds, privacy etc is a good idea and should really be in place already.

I'd sooner sex work than cleaning jobs tbh. There's nothing wrong with cleaning, I'm just not very good at it and find it a lot of hard work for not enough pay

I imagine people who sell illegal drugs would say much the same about their line of work. Doesn't mean it's right.

I think it's lovely, just because you are old doesn't mean you should stop having sex.

And what's the difference between this and incels who argue that because they can't persuade any women to sleep with them, women should be provided for them?

The fact is that many people who want a shag can't get one for a range of reasons. You don't have a 'human right' to have a body provided for you to shag.

I think we also have to take note of the fact that this is typical Trojan horse tactics on the part of the pro-pimping lobby.

Of course it is lovely if older people are facilitated in having consensual relationships, or given the space and privacy to pursue their sex lives, whether alone or consensually with others. Big fan of that. Who wouldn't be?

But what's being done here is deliberately piggy-backing on the right of people to pursue consensual relationships or quietly masturbate in the privacy of their own rooms, and tack onto it an entirely spurious "right" to buy access to women's bodies - something which is highly detrimental to women as a group, and poorer women in particular. The testimonies of exited women show us that for every "happy hooker" there's a dozen or more women forced into prostitution through poverty, mostly groomed into it while still under age, subject to rates of assault, rape and even murder far in excess of the female population as a whole. And there's no need for it. Because no man ever died from lack of an orgasm, no man ever had his dick fall off from lack of use, blue balls are a myth.

Rixera are you on a wind up? How many elderly women have you come across who want to men to help them access porn, help with masturbation, use male prostitutes?Maybe it’s because women don’t need to coerce men into being involved with sexual needs? It’s not just about the residents in a care home, it’s about workers rights to maintain their boundaries around sex.A do not disturb sign is inadequate, this has greater implications in the day to day working if a care home than someone simply popping into a room for half an hour !

@VickyEadie

Well first of all thank you for the compliment. My vagina is addictive and should be made illegal apparently. I'll start billing myself with that shall I, Rixera whose cunt is as good as crack.

Anyway, in what way is an elderly married couple wanting to share a bed comparative to rape? A person wanting to masturbate equivalent to rape? Sure the inflammatory headline referred to prostitutes (also not rape but let's not argue that circle again) but the wider issue was not sex workers, but sexuality.

A do not disturb sign does not an incel make.

Possibly women don't ask because society constantly tells us our sex drives are wrong and shameful.

Rixera, I suspect most posters are very familiar with the ‘happy hooker’ line you’re taking, and I believe that is your genuinely held view and that you may consider yourself a feminist. Feminism isn’t the Borg, we don’t have to all agree all the time.

I find the ‘happy hooker’ line an incredibly selfish position to take - prostitution overwhelmingly disadvantages and abuses women - poor women, working class women, immigrant women, women who have experienced domestic violence, sexual abuse, serious mental health issues, homelessness and substance abuse issues, as well as vulnerable young (mostly) gay men and transgender people worldwide. Prostitution facilitates normalisation of rape and sexual abuse, and ultimately upholds a culture where sex is a right to enforce and a commodity to purchase, rather than a privelige to share with consensual partners. I believe that’s wrong, and I believe your participation, at whatever level, facilitates the suffering I’ve described, whether you like (or accept) that or not. I don’t believe any woman, any human being, should be purchasable, full stop.

This is why many of us do not accept any level of prostitution as reasonable, no matter how much a small number of happy hookers might enjoy being a prostitute.

Back to the topic of the thread - surely workers cannot be required to be exposed to pornography in the workplace, that should constitute sexual harrassment and I’m sure a good lawyer could make a case for that.

I personally think that could be resolved better by more regulation & respect for sex workers.
Thank you for expressing your differing opinion respectfully.

But re harassment- could it be so if it were discreetly used? Ie not left all about the place but in a closed drawer when room accessed by carers? Door shut for privacy?

Rixera

My vagina is addictive and should be made illegal apparently. I'll start billing myself with that shall I, Rixera whose cunt is as good as crack.

Not what I said at all and you know it.

Nor is facilitating elderly men accessing prostitutes anything like allowing consensual relationships between couples. But you know that, too.

Did many of you actually read the guidance? The case study about a resident wanting a prostitute was actually refused. There is guidance on what is and isn't OK. This isn't and the request to be helped with masturbation was also refused with an investigation into the community care worker who did help the same patient for money!

But re harassment- could it be so if it were discreetly used? Ie not left all about the place but in a closed drawer when room accessed by carers? Door shut for privacy?

Noone is trying to prevent people doing whatever they want to do privately. The article was about workers being required to facilitate residents’ access to & use of pornography, facilitate masturbation and use of sex toys etc. I think that might constitute sexual harassment at work, and that workers should not be required to participate/facilitate or be exposed to sexual activity in any way in the course of their employment. Key word here being ‘required’

‘I’m alright Jack’ prostitution edition.

No.

My opinion is that only those folk who consider the inside of a woman's body to be a "workplace" could support anything like this.