Thinking seriously about this, I (a heterosexual woman married to a man, still breastfeeding my son, typically dressed in clothes from the women's section, wear makeup for work) should properly be described as non-binary.
If we accept that gender expression is innate and is the means by which people should be described as man/woman, then my gender expression frequently indicates that I am male.
Let me give an example: I am a keen and reasonably proficient DIYer. I have designed and made some (simple) pieces of wooden furniture and will happily tackle most DIY tasks apart from gas and anything but the most simple water and electricity. When DH and I commissioned our extension project at home I was the one who made most of the design decisions, including structural matters such as width of a passage way and position of the doors. I was driven to frustration by the fact that I would send the builders a list of instructions or queries and they would invariably respond to my DH, not to me. This is an issue I have encountered on previous renovation projects so was not limited to problems with this particular company or individuals.
Now, I had hitherto seen myself as a woman who likes DIY and has experienced sexism and discrimination as a result. But that is not the way we have to look at the world now. Gender is all important. Gender is immutable and is capable of categorising people as male and female. I have a clear lived experience that DIY is seen by society as a masculine gendered interest to the extent that people cannot compute a female showing engagement with it.
Clearly, I am engaging with and expressing my masculinity when I do DIY. If I had altered my physical expression to look masculine then I would not have suffered the discrimination I did and the builders would have been comfortable in responding to me directly.
So on that basis, I believe I am fully justified in calling myself non-binary transgender.
I can also see why some men, if their interests are in their physical expression, including wearing skirts and makeup, would feel a more constant need to alter their physical appearance.
It doesn't mean that gender is not all bollox though.
OP- don't worry if you feel that you are not exactly playing by the rules. It's abundantly clear that women are not getting to write the rules at present. Men have been exploiting the rules to their own advantage for aeons so there is no reason that women shouldn't do likewise.