I’m thinking of applying for an opportunity on the basis of being non-binary

[Somerville1234]

Don’t want to say too much about the reward on offer - a work thing, with real kudos, let’s leave it there.

But... it’s only open to people who self-identify as transgender or non-binary (or a lot of other words which, having Googled, are synonyms for the same).

Some people don't identify with any gender is one of the descriptors of what non-binary means. And that’s true of me. I don’t identify as female, I just happen to have a female body. I do “present in a feminine way” though. And I’m straight, married, still breastfeeding...

But, I can apply, right? I’m nervous, but fucked off with myself for cowering behind the parapet for this long.

@ughhhh

Do you actually understand what non-binary is?

Gawd that video of Molly Gerlach Arthurs. I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or lay my head down and cry.
You need FEMINISM Molly.
Although I did find it erm..interesting, that Molly’s aim as someone in the Greens isn’t to save the planet, it is more to save seats on benches for her trans and non binary friendy wendies.
This is also clear with Aimee Challenor, AC didn’t have green aims, just AC’s agenda aims. Yet political parties run by actual adult people, supposedly with brains, have fallen for this.

I've mowed the lawn. I didn't post it on instagram though.

Perhaps I'm just a gender bender.

I couldn't listen to that Molly video for more than a minute because of the number of times she said 'LGBTQIA plus people'. How exhausting

Hmm, while I'm all for people showing the ridiculousness of "non-binary", let's remember Somerville still has to go on working for this organisation afterwards. I would be a bit wary of doing anything that made the organisation I worked for look ridiculous.

I have recently identified as non binary on a couple of official forms that ask for 'gender' but wasn't completely sure if it's a smart move or an own goal. One of these forms was a police statement and by being NB I'm assuming it has become a hate crime rather than a run of the mill one, so will be taken more seriously?

My main reservation is am I adding to the stats giving Stonewall et al. more ammunition?

On a practical level could you give me some advice on which loos, sports teams, hospital wards etc I should use as I wish to be an authentic non binary person.

I'm conflicted.

On one hand, I agree that "non-binary" probably describes most of us. How we "identify" is totally subjective and, as such, means you have every right to apply for this.

On the other hand...If we really believe that identity should take a backseat to, say, biology, would you really feel right accepting this? In my heart of hearts, I don't think I would. In some ways, I feel applying for this just validates their whole crappy belief system that "gender identity" is real and should be acknowledged.

I know, I know...moral purity often doesn't get you anywhere and it certainly doesn't get you awards or more $$$. But maybe you sleep a little better at night?

Tough one. Follow your gut.

My response to the video linked of the delightful Molly...

"For fucks sake GET A GRIP...it's called PERSONALITY"

Hold on a minute, @UpstartCrow. That's a very suffragette-y flag. Perhaps the OP is onto something.

For my part I'm wearing trousers while breastfeeding and when not stuck under a toddler I work in computing. Does that make me pan-binary?

To answer the tgread question...

Are you Barbie?

Yes? Not non binary, do not pass go, do not collect 200 pounds.

No? CONGRATULATIONS you are a special magical non binary unicorn and may apply for as many awards as you wish. Go for it.

@Marcthenonbinarygasfitter

Don't worry when you are arrested for dangerous unregulated gas work: simply present in court as Linda the home economics specialist.

It's Literal Violence to refer to you as Marc then, so you'll be reet. Totally different person, you see.

OP, you’ve said that you don’t identify as female. If we are to follow the Stonewall definition then you are clearly non binary. That’s the problem with these vague definitions - they are open to abuse. (I’m not saying that you are abusing it, just that others might do). Good luck with the application for the opportunity.

As an “assigned female at birth” rugby playing engineer who generally wears trousers and doesn’t cook but has long hair and sometimes wears make up, and doesn’t identify with any gender stereotypes, I also appear to fit the definition of non binary.

Does that mean my DH is now pan sexual? And is that why he’s been eyeing up the Le Creuset?

Yes. It would be very triggering for me to be reminded of my painful journey in court.
Or I could just changed to Mark with a k.
Mark with a k identifies as a retired gas fitter and anyone who questions that is saying I don't exist.

pan-binary

I could get a non-binary reference from a police woman who commented that my lost (then found) sunglasses were men's glasses.
Didn't she know her job was a man's job?

But perhaps you could try something similar, OP.

Sauce or frying - it’s not a spectrum

Posh pan- binary check your privilege

I have recently identified as non binary on a couple of official forms that ask for 'gender' I did this only yesterday for DH's car insurance... the options were male, female or I'd rather not say. It didn't ask about me, but did ask about him and he was annoying me at the time so I declared him non-binary. In retrospect it was because I'd made him a Dr rather than a Mr, which is why as a simple Ms I wasn't asked rather than because they weren't interested in me as a mere woman. Perhaps this is why the quote was for £100 more?

Yes, but woks...

Perhaps this is why the quote was for £100 more?

Maybe. He should identify as female to pay less (or is that not legal anymore)

Absolutely! On my only visit to Tate Modern, I stomped round scoffing increasingly loudly at every bloody thing in it.

HA! ME too! (there were 2 rooms dedicated to a wierd person who sent goats skulls filled with butter to some journalist - and rather than reporting him to the police, she apparently decided he was a genius - I may have very slightly mis-represented/mis-remembered it, but that was definitely the gist I took away). I'm taking the kids to the portrait gallery when we're next in London. I reckon they'll enjoy it much more (and then I also don't have to avoid the frankly horrific section with 'adult' art at that was also at the Tate Modern when I was there)

I'm definitely non-binary (I only bought a dress recently just to try it out, otherwise I've worn trousers for the entirety of my adult life, I work in a male dominated profession, with both traditionally male and female hobbies. Oh and I forget what they call it - people who want to be in a romantic relationship before they have sex with someone (I used to think that was pretty standard, but apparently that's special) I'm one of those.

Now, looking at me, it might be hard to tell, because I'm short and dumpy and often have a couple of kids saying 'muuuum' at me - but still, by every definition (except the generally accepted one of 'adult human female') in this philosophy, I'm non-binary. (and so is everyone else I know)

Woks are inter-pans so should not be brought into this debate.

Serious question. I'm confused by a lot of the terminology in terms of non- this, fluid- that etc. Is there a handy list somewhere that explains it all?

The Stonewall glossary is here:
www.stonewall.org.uk/help-advice/glossary-terms

Lush also gave some definitions here:
uk.lush.com/article/lets-talk-about-gender
With an nteresting comment at the end!