This is wrong right?

[DukeOfSussex]

If your teenage daughter had her first week at the University of Sussex this week this is what found in her welcome bag.

A Pot Noodle, A tablet of washing detergent, a sim card and an individual sized portion of instant coffee.

AND

A picture of a woman designed to look like she has spunk dripping down her face to sell toothbrushes. "whether you spit or swallow during your twice daily oral regime..."

She'll also find a drinks night event by the Student union being advertised all over campus. It has a picture of a dead eyed half naked woman laying in an empty bath...which advertises what? Fuck knows.

She will also find a copy of the student newspaper in her bag. On the front cover at the very top of the page is an article entitled "Transphobia and toilets". This is discussing the recent words of University of Sussex philosophy professor Kathleen Stock who dared to very (politely) question some aspects of trans theory.

Your daughter, if disabled, will also be concerned to see that some of the disabled toilets have been declared "for all genders". Which is lovely and inclusive but not ideal if you're disabled and need a wee and need to wait for an able bodied non binary male wearing lipstick to go for a shit first.

She will find that the "This Sussex Girl Can" all women only classes are open to all "women, trans gender people and non binary individuals" so just mixed classes basically .

So far so expected of university in general but what upsets me is that people wanted Kathleen Stock's job for having an opinion. She caused students to feel "unsafe" with her very words, but in a world where women are literally unsafe and sexual assault is endemic in universities, Sussex student union didn't think twice before objectifying its female students. If your employer gave you a goody bag with this card in it you could rightfully be making a formal complaint to your HR department. Why is it appropriate for university?

We can't discuss why it's always a woman advertising drinks, or toothbrushes without discussing women and the group of people who actually deal with the real repercussions of being women. It's a bloody joke.Why don't people care about actual sexism, real life objectification of women.

Many girls I know haven't had boyfriends before they get to uni. Way to initiate them in their expected role as sex doll.

It's 18.3 in this country on average but again will vary wildly through the school demographic which is international. They'll soon learn though. You can wear your "consent is sexy" shirt and the universities can hold seminars on consent but they're letting everyone know what they really expect from women.

The shitty thing here isn't even that some woke little shithead men packed a horrible little thing into a box - it's that students unions and universities nodded and handed it out.

We can do something although it could be that Dig In will play on the parent - child divide (old fashioned sticks) if challenged by parents - a classic grooming method - ‘your mummies and daddies will hate this! Let’s be naughty’. I fear.

Off topic but there is also a very sweet article by a yoof about the moral panic of parents worrying about their university age teenagers doing drugs. As far as I know drug use is on the down turn and many of the parents of these children don't remember huge swathes of the 90s. I'm far more concerned about all the Redbull and woke they're drinking.

I wouldn't make that assumption just yet, Name. Keep messaging the Guardian. Don't leave any bit of the political spectrum out.

I am uncomfortable with anointing the reactionary right as the saviour of women's rights. I suspect there are a few people in that group who will defend us only if they see in it an opportunity to roll back on gay rights, or feminism in general.

I fetched up at university 42 (!) years ago, the first person ever in my family to go and feeling a bit out of my depth socially as a very working-class girl from a council house who'd never had a proper boyfriend, much less sex and its related activities.

We got none of this - they gave you no 'goody bag' etc in those days - but if I had, I'd have been shocked, intimidated and quite possibly would have headed home on the next available train.

I should add, however, that I was housed with 9 other (entirely middle class) women who made me feel safe and helped me navigate my way around experiences that were often entirely new to me.

Baby y they would but I think they underestimate students. My children are v popular and sociable but would look on the spunk thing with contempt. (also ironic that quite e a lot of students' grandparents would have been dancing naked at festivals in the 60s - but sure, you kids invented sex )

Duke, that's why I think there's more mileage in challenging them on why they've used a feminine mouth instead of a masculine one. Surely a truly woke campaign would recognise that men can be equal opportunity "sexy edgy" objects?

(I am smirking as I write that, imagining the horror and consternation on their faces when they try to picture that ad with a masculine mouth. Not so LGBT accepting after all, eh?)

What are the company contact details / do they have a twitter

They won't give a fuck like that ?poundshop one where it looked like the doll with the feminist tshirt on was unconscious while being assaulted by a "naughty" elf.

It comes from EXACTLY the same place as a group of men shouting obscenities at schoolgirls - it's about putting women and girls in their place,

I am so over men. Honestly. With all the shit they do all over the world to women and children. I have had it.

Was talking to DH last night he said he thought a lot of men have "something wrong in their brains" imagine if a woman said that! I don't think they have anythign wrogn with them I think it's all socialised. They dont' see women as full human beings. They are comfy with all the stuff that is done to women adn girls all over the world. They see girls and women as objects to fuck and nothing more. Apart from maybe their mum.

Yep so over them.

Charlie good point.

Agree nopeni. Someone up the power chain looked at it, approved and wrote a massive cheque.

I mean they won't give a fuck but still not to ignore it.

I am very very angry today after reading yesterday that a SECOND rapist psedophile has been put in a women's prison with a YOI ie girls which was their target group, becasuse they fancied being in there rather than with the men.

The men who made this campaign would probably find that fact very funny and possibly a bit sexually arousing. Becasue women are there to suck cock right, and they may well have no choice! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

This is nuts type "humour" back again. At least before it was just aimed at men - to be giving this shit out to girls is grotesque

Exactly, it's so edgy it's practically 'retro'

I think ultimately Mumsnetters can have more power than we think here, though it will take a while.
Universities are businesses and parents are taking more and more interest in where their kids go.
I think we need to keep having conversations very loudly about which universities are safer for our daughters. Never mind the Stonewall Award For Misogyny - imagine if there was a Mumsnet Award for Woman Student Friendliness.
At least if it became known that certain place were talked about on here as 'don't let your daughter touch it with a bargepole' the university admissions offices would start to sit up. It's just like any other product.
At the moment if this vile material is being given out at 130 universities it's not clear if anywhere could really be recommended, but it's something to think about imo.

This is disgraceful and makes me feel sick - I would also have felt deeply uncomfortable to have been given this material when I started university

Somebody has asked them on twitter if they are behind that awful pic

Also can someone explain the point of having a tooth brush delivered in the first place? You can just pick one up when you buy food, literally almost every shop sells them and they are hardly a large item to carry home.

It's the leaflet equivalent of a man shouting "Suck my Cock" at a girl out of a van

Yeah this is spot on.

They asked Sussex?

Why is this in FWR? It needs to be in chat/AIBU

I originally posted in chat for the wider audience, but thought it would remain bumped more in FWR. So I requested MNHQ move it for me last night.

I thought it was originally in chat, wanted to check I wasn’t going mad and that you knew it had been moved

Countess brilliant idea. Unis have woken up to sexual violence recently, it is a thing they are aware of. So it could be one indicator on the award.

Mumsnet Award for Woman Student Friendliness.

Nice idea, but might only appeal to those who are already members of Generation Sensible.

I feel your pain, NothingOnTellyAgain. My DH used to say testosterone should be a banned substance, and he was only half joking.

I'd like to think male violence is a product of socialization because that means we can eventually remove it. But the fact that there's no society unscarred by male violence suggests it may be innate, which is a depressing thought.

It's definitely partly to do with socialization in that good families and good role models can raise boys who aren't violent.

Coming from another angle, I've read that xenophobia is innate: fear/suspicion of the stranger. But not everyone is racist and people learn to overcome it. Maybe male violence is similar?

That makes me so fucking angry. That is an absolute fucking disgrace.