Has Dh out-feministed me, what do you think?

[TooMuchPenis]

Just reading this article and this woman thinks the flight attendant was wrong to call her 'Miss". I think the flight attendant was trying to get 200 people on an airline and probably did quite well to get 'Yes, Miss O'dwyer' out before pointing her in the general direction of her seat.

unless I am mistaken and someone literally changed her boarding card to read Miss instead of Dr I don't think this is the crime of the century. in a conversation, I could totally understand her annoyance with someone getting it wrong but this is just someone misspeaking while under pressure? I also think her original tweet calling the woman a "trolly dolley" way more offensive to women and working class people and this whole thing reads less like feminism and more like "don't you know who I am!".

Dh says if you go to school for 8 years it's the least you can expect and this is the same as me getting offended when people instist on calling me miss after I have corrected them to Ms.* So who's right?

www.indy100.com/article/doctor-medicine-calls-out-airline-qantas-everyday-sexism-controversy-reaction-twitter-8525826

*For the record, I'd have no issue whatsoever if someone called me Miss in the rush instead of Ms in this situation which is again why it feels less about feminism than about academic credentials.

He is right.

Why did they call her "Miss" rather than "Mrs"?

Neither was written on the ticket, only Dr was.

Consider why that happened.

I'm with him.

If you state your name (including title) and people choose to forget/correct it to what they think it should be, then they are being rude.

In the previous thread the flight attendant apparently decided not to use the title "Dr" despite it being on the ticket. No reason for this nor would it have made boarding quicker.

I'm pretty sure (according to the woman's original tweet) her boarding pass said 'Dr' and the flight attendant looked at the boarding card, looked at her, looked again, then called her Miss. That's fairly basic sexism in my opinion.

I'm pretty sure (according to the woman's original tweet) her boarding pass said 'Dr' and the flight attendant looked at the boarding card, looked at her, looked again, then called her Miss. That's fairly basic sexism in my opinion.

IME it's actually ::quick glance down:: aisle 6 ma'am/sir and if they don't "misgender" you they've probably mentally moved on to the next person. I just don't believe anyone who would call a woman a "trolly dolly" is overly worried about feminism.

Dh will be pleased to know he won feminism once

I am with you OP TBH.

This

"She later deleted the tweet after many people, especially flight attendants, found her use of the term ‘trolley dolly’ insulting."

Trolley dolly? That's bloody awful.

If the attendant galnced at boarding card to get surname to address her, they may not have clocked title.

In general miss / mrs / ms it's all a nightmare.
Yes there may have been unconscious bias in not calling her Dr but I doubt it was intentional. I doubt she read Dr and consciously thought "i'll call her miss to put her down" I mean maybe she did but...

The trolley dolly thing is AWFUL. Like, really awful.

In fact it's not a competiiton.

Maybe the flight attendant and the passenger were both in the wrong.

And, you are both right :)

British Airways always do this to me. It’s never occurred to me to go public with my grievance, though (until now, obvs).

I also think there is something really unpleasant about a supposedly educated person calling someone a trolley dolly.

And, you are both right

I prefer that. Much better. I'll stick to that.

Honestly - yes, it could be a quick glance and not reading the title, BUT - why is her go-to, in a hurry response, to use "Miss"? Because she probably uses Miss and Sir without ever trying to consider that there are other options and she's therefore assuming a stereotyped binary gender monicker.

Which is grounded in patriarchal norms.

That's a lot of clever useless words to say that your DH is right, by a cat's whisker.

I think people who get horribly offended at others not using their academic titles in a non-work context are ridiculous.

I also agree that using the phrase "trolley dolly" was as bad if not worse than the original issue.

nestly - yes, it could be a quick glance and not reading the title, BUT - why is her go-to, in a hurry response, to use "Miss"? Because she probably uses Miss and Sir without ever trying to consider that there are other options and she's therefore assuming a stereotyped binary gender monicker

Yes, I will give you that.

I also agree that using the phrase "trolley dolly" was as bad if not worse than the original issue.

Very good response from a female flight attendant on the Twitter thread
Please don't refer to us as trolley dollys. We may not have completed a PhD however we are required by law 2 maintain quals that enable us 2 evacuate an aircraft in 90secs, keep u alive inflight, prevent hijackings, put out fires etc. I have always used the correct honorific.

“I think people who get horribly offended at others not using their academic titles in a non-work context are ridiculous.”

Yep. Chances are the attendant only glanced at the surname and guessed it was Ms O’Dwyer, given the complete how plane boarding turns into a complete cattle market.

I’m normally very about “PC gorn mad!” comments, but I have issues with this lady thinking the initial comment was offensive and then proceeding to describe someone doing their (challenging and not well paid, female dominated) job as a trolley dolly.

Why would anyone care? Another attention seeking drama queen.

Americans tend to use Sir and Ma’am in such circumstances. I think that’s quite a good compromise and less likely to cause offence. I’m a doctor who sometimes gets addressed as Mrs, by people filling in forms or taking down order details etc - I just politely correct them, I wouldn’t go online to insult them for it!

"I also agree that using the phrase "trolley dolly" was as bad if not worse than the original issue."

It was definitely worse.
At least the flight attendant was dealing with 200 people one after another glancing at a piece of paper, before moving on to the next one.
This doctor had time to sit and think and come up with the condescending term "Trolley Dolly"
It must be nice to look down your nose at the people that serve you.
It just drips with snobbery and class bias.
She could do with checking her own privilege while she's at it.
As somebody said up thread, hardly a term to be used by somebody who can genuinely call themselves a feminist.
No wonder she's backed away from all this.

Americans tend to use Sir and Ma’am in such circumstances. I think that’s quite a good compromise and less likely to cause offence.

I was thinking that exactly and wondering if Australia had an equivalent.

Do I have to turn in my gun and badge now as I've lost at feminism?

I know plenty of medical doctors (of both sexes) who don’t travel under the Dr title. I’d be especially hesitant to travel under the Dr title if I was a PhD doctor.

I think it that to complain about sexism while referring to a flight attendant as a “trolley dolly” is an own goal to say the very least.

It would have been more productive to correct/challenge the flight attendant in person.

"Do we have a dr on board?!"

I was thinking that exactly and wondering if Australia had an equivalent.

It does. Not sure g'day Shiela would have helped.

You haven’t lost at feminism at all!

The “trolley dolly” has experienced that shitty, low level, day to day sexism of having her lowly paid, high stress job and her sex diminished by someone who perceives themselves as superior.

The Tweet writer was offended by what seems to have been a genuine oversight. She had a point but illustrated it in the completely wrong way.

The number of times I have been phoned and someone has asked to speak to Dr Bertie -because obviously women can't be Dr. I normally get 'Can I speak to your husband?' err. No, you can speak to me.

Everytime I'm asked for my title they go is it Mrs or Miss? and I go say neither and I normally get a sarky 'ok so you're a Ms comment' before correcting it.
When I was married it was Dr Bertie and Mr X and always, always, always he got the Dr bit. I'm too chilled to flipping care. But they wouldn't dare call a man Mr if he was Dr.
My sister is a Dr and her husband Mr -the same happens to her. Brother is Dr and his wife Dr -still they get Dr & Mrs. Basic stereotypes and assumptions.