which makes me think there are lots of us watching and learning
I think that is proved by the changes seen in regards to this topic, on MN, over a period of years. My first into was a thread on AIBU, or maybe Chat. God knows how many years ago, but a woman was being gaslighted, on this site, into giving vagina a chance, after her date revealed transman status. Her reluctance was palpable. But a slight majority of posters were framing that reluctance as saying something negative about her outlook/character. The pressure on the OP to prioritise her date's feelings about rejection above her own sexual boundaries was both insane, and very real. I went from a cis word user to WTF! in about 150 posts.
Some time later I was posting on a big trans thread on one of the feminist boards. At the time GenderTrender was as popular a mention as Katie Hopkins, with similar reactions. And I got rounded on by many on the thread for mentioning The Cotton Ceiling.
I'm shit with time, so I couldn't tell you when it happened. But it could be anywhere between 8-4 years ago. Roughly.
Some people, mostly centred on this corner of the site, have slogged away tirelessly for a very long time. They've peak transed an indescribable number of people. Motivated many more into taking a more critical look at the Emperor's fancy new robe. And given even more a sense that their unvoiced, not quite put into words, disquiet, is not as " disgusting and out there with the creationists" as some posters would have had them think.
On any board lurkers will always outnumber active posters. I suspect the ratio here is higher than most others. And I'd bet my house that a large number who came to lurk for the "tut at the mean transphobes" potential, went away going "shit, I think I may need a rethink here".
And I think that is why the TRAs are so desperate to shut the debate down here. They can regularly take the temperature of a board/site every bit as well as I can, and note a very real, and fairly dramatic, climate change in progress.