Daughter with ROGD - issues with school

[Hoggirl765]

My daughter presents with ROGD. Her school is going forward with affirming this by way of calling her by her boys name and male pronouns. That's all so far. This despite our repeated requests to step back and watch and wait - to go at our pace as a family (basically back off). She has had a lot of emotional upheaval in her short life and has always found it hard to fit in. We have found a wonderful counsellor and that's all we're prepared to do at present. She is just 14 and at present is very enthusiastic and keyed into her school work and in general seems happy. No self harm etc. The school have caused us as a family so much unnecessary stress and then said that's it you'll have to wait til September now. If it wasn't for the excellent teaching we would be moving her. Has anyone else has experiences with unsupportive, insensitive or unsympathetic schools?

Just to confirm that my child is not suicidal. Nor is he distressed in his day to day life. It is only when he’s spoken to the goaders that he starts to say rubbish things. He has thanked us for reigning him in and to take a slow approach. My job is to keep him safe from the activist. My child is vulnerable and his safety from groomers is paramount. . .

Seeing worried mothers being accused of not safeguarding specifically because they are actively safeguarding their children is one of the best examples of DARVO I've seen in a while. And should not be acceptable on this forum in this context.

If the child is part of the group who later desist, affirming his gender identity has no negative impact.

Data please.

Furthermore, was it you, Snappity, who explained the ten girls coming out simultaneously as something to do with the possibility of their mothers living near each other and being exposed to the same environmental conditions?

OP, i'm not sure if someone has posted this already, or if you have read it, but it's quite useful.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/4thwavenow.com/2017/12/07/gender-dysphoria-is-not-one-thing/amp/

OP if you are still reading, I am sorry you are going through this. My teenage dd also went through a phase of ROGD. We did not affirm the new identity and she later desisted.

I agree with a pp that if the school will not respect your views on how this should be dealt with then it is worth investigating home education.

To the OP
I do not contribute much on this forum. But when a parent is being scaremongerd by another poster by stating we parents of trans identifying kids are harming our kids I had to respond.

This will bring you sleepless nights and this will impact your family on a scale that no one will understand unless they are going through it. I have had death in my family and I can honestly say this is the worst thing that has come onto my home because of the crap being pushed on our kids. This is child abuse. Telling our kids they can grow tits/ cut off their tits and make a hole for a vagina or get a penis. What parent can honestly think this is normal. If you do have to agree would you still think this is normal. If this happens to my child I will see his mental health has been compromised by the very institutions we thought we could trust.

Snappity. Are you a parent of a trans identifying child?
Snappity. Are you Transexual?

Unless you are any of the above could you please keep your crap on hold and help those parents, like me and the OP to at least look at the bigger picture before you wade in and gaslight us.

Truthwillwin

What is the gender critical support board? Hoggirl765 is not alone in her concern, or circumstances.

Can we direct people to your board?

I found it from 4th wave now and by GCD blog. I have been a member sinc last August. The members are from all over but US and Canada feature strongly. There are more Uk people joining. We on the Uk have thankfully still got some safeguards on place due to the NHS America is very different. It is using the informed consent protocol and Planned Parenthood is the devil. Kids walk in and get hormones in a jiffy. This will happen here if self Id and private GP practices like our lovely Doctor who I can’t name but has a lot of posts about him on here gets there way.

I’m not sure how to do a link but I’ll post this first and try

gendercriticalresources.com/Support/

Don’t know how to make it clicky. If that’s the right word.

This thread is absolutely not the place for Snappity to be proselytizing (nor would any other support thread be). This is a mother who needs advice from other mothers who've been through the same thing, not an opportunity to issue veiled threats.

Boundary issues, again.

If the child is part of the group who later desist, affirming his gender identity has no negative impact.

But it does. Social transition puts undue pressure on the child, if the child decides they are not trans (as most do). If everyone around them is referring to them as a boy and such, then it can be very hard to come out and say 'I was wrong'. Think how hard it is for a child to tell a parent they are trans in the first place, then mutiply that..as its doing the same, but after they have already made a declaration...and likely been fanfared all over the internet by TRAs and their ilk for doing so. They will feel embarassed to start with about changing their mind, but also at school if they have 'socially transitioned' they will have also been met with fanfare about how brave and stunning they are, and going back on this, back to being just regular rather than stunning and brave? Yeah, its hard to go back on.

And yes, watch and wait pretty much does mean do nothing. Be a supportive ear, as parents would be anyway, but otherwise, watch and wait and see how things go.

Neuroplasticity also happens. The propaganda via social media and the total entrenchment by algorithms which our kids click onto means their exposure to this is heightened. Then the institution which we use to call education maintains it. It is all pervasive and the only sensible person or persons who truly know their child is made to feel they are the abuser. All I can say is that this extremely well organised ideology is making the strongest sceptics look like they are the nasty ones.

If I thought that this was something real I might possible understand a little and put my hand up and say I’m old and times have changed from when I was young. I can hear my own parents voice on this statement. Times do change. Biology doesn’t.
A female is a female.

A male is a male.
We can’t mix and match
Whoever thinks this is possible is equally mad and equally gaslighted.
I honestly can’t understand how anyone can buy onto the propaganda.
Sadly, if we do we would not want to acknowledge we were taken in. This is even more true when dealing with teens. Their pig headness will stop them from acknowledging they were wrong. Their fear of being ridiculed for not keeping up the pretence can stop them from désistons.
They are teens after all and this is what teens do.

Desisting

happydappy2

snappity you clearly have an agenda here, for transparency would you mind letting us know if you are a mum? Has one of yr kids decided to present as the other sex?

I don’t wish to be intrusive on yr personal life but you seem to be approaching this in an extremely pro trans way. Whereas most parents advocate watch and wait-80% of children desist transitioning after puberty.

Snappity's partner is trans. And doesn't like Snappity to post here so often...

This thread is absolutely not the place for Snappity to be proselytizing (nor would any other support thread be). This is a mother who needs advice from other mothers who've been through the same thing, not an opportunity to issue veiled threats.

Don't you think that the child is the one most needing support? He, according to the OP, has expressed a male identity a school but he has been repeatedly misgendered on this public thread as "daughter" and "she". That should not be acceptable.

If people genuinely are being supportive the least they could do is do the child the courtesy of referring to him as "he", "him", "son" etc. Adults find it hard enough, as we know from other threads, if people misgender them. The impact on a child of misgendering could be so much worse. If people want to advise the OP what to do, fair, enough but that should not be at the expense of disrespecting the child himself.

I believe I already told you that I would not be interacting with you any further, Snappity. Please respect that boundary, and also the fact that this thread is about supporting the OP.

Which is worse? The schools abrogating their duty of care by disregarding parents and therapists and insisting children are transgender if they deviate from sex role stereotypes or questioning their gender, or people on this thread refusing to use the pronoun for a child that Snappity deems appropriate based on the fantasy Snappity has created in their head?

I don’t wish to be intrusive on yr personal life but you seem to be approaching this in an extremely pro trans way. Whereas most parents advocate watch and wait-80% of children desist transitioning after puberty.

Watch and wait means not prescribing hormones. It doesn't mean ignoring a child who has expressed a particular gender identity and it doesn't mean forcing the genie back into the bottle as some posters seem to want, unless that is the child's decision.

The idea that women may not have a space in which they discuss issues that affect us as woman because a trans person may happen upon those conversations and not like them is fundamentally unacceptable. A mother should be able to ask support from other mothers, on a forum for mothers, without being chastised because of the possibility that her child might find that forum and not like what she's saying there.

Anyone refusing to grant women that space is refusing to allow women to have boundaries, and that is not OK.

(They're also ultimately arguing against the very existence of Mumsnet, which I hope is gradually starting to dawn on MNHQ. Can't have a functional forum for mothers if every single comment must be filtered through the lens of "but what if someone who doesn't like the way this group of women are talking was to see their conversation?". HQ has already been through this with F4J - let's hope nobody decides to climb any buildings dressed as Batman this time.)

@MNHQ

(They're also ultimately arguing against the very existence of Mumsnet, which I hope is gradually starting to dawn on MNHQ. Can't have a functional forum for mothers if every single comment must be filtered through the lens of "but what if someone who doesn't like the way this group of women are talking was to see their conversation?". HQ has already been through this with F4J - let's hope nobody decides to climb any buildings dressed as Batman this time.)

Watch and wait means not socialising them as the other sex. They can be non conforming as much as they like in terms of clothes etc
Wearing trousers does not make me a man.
Snappity. Take yourself back to school and learn the difference between sex and gender. You seem awfully confused. As soon as you call he a she because of their dress code you are showing your sexism and maybe you need a little bit of counselling as you obviously are very sexist and think that females or males can only be this if they are the stereotype
However, as soon as you call a he a she by using pronouns you are indeed transmigration our kids. Take your shite elsewhere please. Save it for thé people you can bully and victimise. That’s what you are doing. You are a perpetrator of abuse. Really. Can you not see this. I am livid that someone like you can tell the OP and by default me that we are abusing our kids.
Does the very fact that we are on here not speak volumes. If I didn’t care about my child do you think I would not be in my bed. How can I sleep. I haven’t slept in a year. I can’t sleep. I am no longer a functioning adult but I get up every morning and get on with it. This is life. This is resilience. Am I suicidal because I can’t get what I want?

No
I’m distressed and sad and my world is shite but I continue.
Our kids will get through their distress and will survive if shit like what you say is kept away from them

Leave our kids alone. Let us parent.

Leave our kids alone. Let us parent.

How's that for a new FWR motto?

This thread is terrifying. @Snappity why are you trying to pretend a female teenager is a male? It's not helping anyone, least of all the confused and vulnerable child

Wine helps loosen the tongue. The truth is wine is my buddy. Never needed it so much as I do now. This is like alcoholism though. It tears the whole family apart. I just wish people really understood it’s not just about the child.