Why are femnists such doormats?

[DJLippy]

Firstly, please excuse the clickbait title.

I was wondering if anybody else shared my personal experience in that the most vocal feminists I've known have been treated like shit by men. Not before they became feminists but during and throughout their feminism.

I've lost count of the amount of women for whom the personal is definitely not political. I can hardly speak myself. If I had to describe my type it would be 'secret dickhead type.'

Are feminists more prone to dickhead type men or are we just more aware of the dickhead behavior of our men? Is it causal?

Do feminists love bastards?

Laugh if you want to. I'm getting all slushy over Bowl's post:

Truly strong men are men who do not need a subservient relationship with anyone in their lives because they’re secure and happy in who they are, and don’t need to feel like they’re the top of any hierarchy by putting others down.

We all know a few people like this I think. The bloke who is a total rock through absolutely anything.

Which is an accurate description of my late DH. With him I could always be my full self. I never had to "mute" anything about myself in his company. We had such a good time.

prawn

prawn

prawn
And beyond

Sorry for the tea up the nose, Vicky. At least it wasn't something fizzy, eh?

In terms of where to purchase the cheapest peen, didn't I already point out that there are gazillions of men trying to give it away for free? Set up a profile on any dating site and you'll be lucky to get as far as "Hello my name is..." before some bloke pops up all "Here's a photo of mine! Please take it! Free delivery included!"

In terms of where to purchase the cheapest peen, didn't I already point out that there are gazillions of men trying to give it away for free? Set up a profile on any dating site and you'll be lucky to get as far as "Hello my name is..." before some bloke pops up all "Here's a photo of mine! Please take it! Free delivery included!"

Indeed they are a nuisance like endless calls asking you about IPP.

What we need is some sort of way of blocking them, stop this constant invasion, for a bit of peace...

Something like penis-free spaces and services.... oh... wait a minute..!?!

Someone needs to invent some sort of blocking device that, rather than banning certain words, can block all pictures of penises. They'd make millions...!
Maybe with some sort of auto-flag to police for flashing...

Prawn 💐💐(sneaks unmumsnetty hug in while no one is looking.)

And when the bloke is blocked he gets a little image of a penis in a circle with a red strike through it, like a no smoking sign.

for everyone on the thread who has lost an actual good man, or has discovered a "good" man wasn't what they seemed

Sorry for consistently lowering the tone...

Someone on another thread said this one was “disgusting”.

I am very disappointed.

for Prawn.

What's disgusting? Do I need to aim the Death Star?

Thanks for the and the hug. Much appreciated.

I went for bad boys when I was young. Misplaced maternal instinct or missionary spirit. But I learned by my mistakes. When I was looking for a permanent relationship I chose a man who welcomed my feminism; a big gentle blokey bloke who laughed at the idea that he could be a feminist, but who could never have considered women as lesser in any way.

My dd says she is automatically suspicious of men who say they are feminists after a couple of bad experiences in her early dating life.

Aww Prawn

AngryAttackKittens
Sorry for consistently lowering the tone...
dont be!

Do I need to aim the Death Star?

That tractor beam has a lot to answer for!

prawn life can be bloody cruel can't it. But it is so much better to know there are good men out there.

That was a lovely memory Prawn - and I liked the part about him laughing at the notion of being a feminist.

I was thinking about your words whilst driving today (so inspiring was the post).

It made me have these thoughts / considerations:

I think for a lot of men, they believe feminism is some sort of extreme movement / view. Something that a few outspoken women 'harp on about'.
But for a few men feminism almost goes unnoticed - because they are simply good men, they don't believe they hold any feminist 'view' because they've never felt a need to form one. They've never had to be proactive because their natural stance is just inherently feminist to start with.

I don't know if that's actually true, but it did make some sense to me.

Feminism really ought to just be the natural state of things and not need a title.

But for a few men feminism almost goes unnoticed - because they are simply good men, they don't believe they hold any feminist 'view' because they've never felt a need to form one. They've never had to be proactive because their natural stance is just inherently feminist to start with.

That's exactly my experience, Torn. My dad is another one, which is no coincidence. Where did I learn how to identify such a good man? From growing up in my DP's marriage. My DH and my DF were very different but they both had a worldview in which women were their equal and which nothing altered.

Most "feminist" men drop the act as soon as you cross them or they forget and, sadly, many men's default attitude towards women covers a range of reactions from outright hatred to disgust to contempt.

I'm glad my post got you thinking.

I've always had a thing in my mind that the measure of a person isn't how they behave when you agree, it's how they behave when you disagree. It's generally been a decent measure of a person (at least for me it has).

There are a few posters on here who I disagree with from time to time, but it's the way in which they behave that earns my admiration (not that they need it!). There's nothing as inspiring as being able to disagree with dignity and then agree on the next point. Making each other think is a wonderful thing. I've changed my opinion on a few big issues in my life, long may it continue!

There's nothing as inspiring as being able to disagree with dignity and then agree on the next point. Making each other think is a wonderful thing. I've changed my opinion on a few big issues in my life, long may it continue.

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