Why is misgendering a big deal?

[FortunateCookie]

Hope someone can help because I’m really trying to understand why not affirming someone’s identity is that big of a deal.
I understand that it’s polite to go along with whatever someone’s chosen gender identity is, but I can’t believe that it’s actually a big problem if you don’t?
Surely if your friends and family accept your identity, it doesn’t matter if someone at work doesn’t?
Would it really make someone suicidal?
Do any of the trans organisations say why it is so important?
I just don’t get it.

Totally agree but we are only talking about women sharing spaces with other women

Gilbert, please see Super’s post above. You are talking about women sharing spaces with women. We are talking about women sharing spaces with men.

Well that was interesting, she spent the whole day saying be nice or they will die. She seemed very surprised it didn't work.

It signals submission. Just like the tradition of salutes, and tugging the forelock, obedience signals submission to superiors.

Is this really too obvious for people to see?

I like the "compliant individual signalling (cis)" that LaSqrrl came up with.

I'm not saying women should be forced to share spaces with men if they have an intense phobia of them. I'm saying that it would be beneficial for said women to try and overcome that phobia, because it's very very difficult to go through life avoiding men completely.

1, That word phobia does not mean what you think it means.
2, People who refuse to take no for an answer are not safe to be around.

Because the world has gone truly mad. That is it.

Trying to devalue trans people instead of just combatting both types of oppression is not only counter-productive and requiring of a lot of energy you could be putting into something else, but it can be very harmful to an extremely oppressed group

Who is devaluing trans people? Is this like the "TERFs try to deny the existence of trans people" claim? Ie complete bollocks?

Please tell me how trans people are "an extremely oppressed group"? I get that they suffer from bullying, can be treated incredibly cruelly and subject to physical harm (almost always at the hands of men), but not how that makes them more oppressed than, say, women.

Rose, you have totally embarrassed yourself with your complete lack of understanding of therapy with respect to gender identity. You have swallowed hook line and sinker the complete fallacy that therapy is conversion based. This is the lie that led to the accusations against the Transgender Trend school kit. No one in the UK practises gender conversion therapy, nor recommends it.
By continuing to claim that conversion therapy exists and causes suicide in the UK, you are using emotive lies to claim victimhood. Stop it. It’s not true, and you clearly have no idea or experience of what you are arguing.

The legitimacy of their identities and transition means that most women have the decency and respect to welcome them into female sex segregated spaces.

The fact that most women do not is the basis for the narcissistic ranting and rage and death threats by transgender identified males every effing day all over the interwebs.
Seriously! I have read three page rants over a woman giving a TIM the side eye as they waited for them to leave the loo so the women could use it.

Well that was interesting, she spent the whole day saying be nice or they will die. She seemed very surprised it didn't work.

I know!

Do you remember being a teen and being told by males that (words to the effect of) if you "get him all hot" and then say no to sex he will literally die?

That's what it all reminded me of. Don't say no to me or I will die. It sticks in the throat the most when actual females are ignoring females' NOs and continue to state the males' case.

People who refuse to take no for an answer are not safe to be around

It's a huge red flag. I always point this out to young girls I know. People who refuse to hear NO are dangerous

It sticks in the throat the most when actual females are ignoring females' NOs and continue to state the males' case.

I know. Mine too. But patriarchy is hard to escape.

I'm saying that it would be beneficial for said women to try and overcome that phobia, because it's very very difficult to go through life avoiding men completely

Do you know what, I've had a brilliant idea how traumatised women can have their lives made a teensy bit easier? We could have a very small number of places in public life where there would only be women allowed in, so that even if only for five minutes here and there women who have suffered terribly at the hands of men could have some respite from being on constant alert that they may be in danger again. It wouldn't need to be many places, just those places where women are particularly vulnerable due to being in partial undress or undergoing particularly intimate procedures.

Some of these places might be public toilets, public changing rooms, doctors' surgeries (where a female HCP has been requested, but not waiting rooms), bra fitters and breast feeding support clinics. Not really much in the run of things - it would still be a man's world, and traumatised women would still need support to help them navigate it and come to terms with their experiences. But hey, it's just one small bone we could, as a society, throw them - women only spaces. Who could possibly object to those?

No, you're not "responsible for their feelings". But you could impact them, which could potentially be very damaging! It's your choice to "participate" or not, with that taken into account.

Given the frequency with which a females are killed for saying no to a males I have to agree that impacting a males feelings can be dangerous for female. This is why we DO NOT WANT to share a space with them when we are in various states of undress.

Trying to devalue trans people instead of just combatting both types of oppression is not only counter-productive and requiring of a lot of energy you could be putting into something else, but it can be very harmful to an extremely oppressed group

Tell the TRAs that. You know, the ones that are busy telling women that they need to make space for male-bodied persons because those men have decided that feeling like a woman entitles them to all the protections that actually being a woman affords.

I don't see women physically barring trans-women from attending conferences and meetings to discuss trans-issues. I don't see women wearing masks and wielding weapons and issuing death threats to trans-women when they try and arrange a gathering to talk about things that concern them.

TRAs have very neatly turned the argument and positioned trans-women as the victims of nasty feminists who don't want to acknowledge their wishes. When in fact its feminists who are being threatened, attacked and bullied by the TRAs.

Do you remember being a teen and being told by males that (words to the effect of) if you "get him all hot" and then say no to sex he will literally die?

The myth of the blue balls from the 1950s! Did they use the same line on you younger women?

Crying with laughter at this thread. It needs to go into classics, although I'm only up to page 5. The trans activists are really doing our job for us in revealing the nuttiest elements of the ideology.

Love LOVE this description of the Concise Oxford Dictionary (or any other dictionary...) as being part of a widespread delusion. So widespread, in fact, it encompasses virtually all of the population, society and history:
Women is generally affiliated with gender, not sex, but due to widespread delusions that they are one and the same it is sometimes used interchangeably

To roses "trans people" are put upon tragic figures. She doesn't seem to deny that they have serious psychological issues, which is interesting. She doesn't take into account though that large numbers of trans identified males are cross dressing sexual fetishists who don't make much effort besides a few trappings of what they perceive with their male gaze as "femininity."

Does the whole devalue argument creep anyone else out? Cuz it is men who designed the hierarchy with themselves at the top, and it is men who are trying to create a new class of people who cannot be told no, and have been given the right to take priority over all others on the basis of how they identify. This can vary from one day to the next, so failure to submit to that days identity presentation can get the lesser people in trouble.

@roseandflowers

Why not tell Sohia Narwitz where she is going wrong too? Sophia is trans.

dailycaller.com/2018/05/12/linguistic-minefield-of-politically-correct-tranny/

The myth of the blue balls from the 1950s! Did they use the same line on you younger women?

I'm in my 40s and yes, often. Sadly I gave in a few times because I was too scared not to. The emotional blackmail is really hard for young girls to deal with I think as we are so conditioned to please.

That's my main motivation for being a feminist now and why I'm so angry about boundary violations.

I expect it's still going on today.

@SupermatchGame 'But I'm assuming human civilisation is in a different place today and that society is making more rational decisions than it did 100 years ago.' Would not appear so.

'If you see trans women as men and feel that you are being forced to accept them in female space I can see how that could feel like having your boundaries violated' It does.

'As has happened to you before.' Please do not assume every female who has an issue with males in female only spaces is saying this because they have had bad experiences of men personally.

Some have. Some have not. But caring about ourselves, our privacy and other women is not necessarily dependent on having had our personal boundaries violated.

What is making me angry is the way women are treated repeatedly across the globe. For me the answer is for women to have privacy and protection. Those women who don't care if non-females are in their intimate spaces are welcome to campaign for unisex places.

Some have. Some have not. But caring about ourselves, our privacy and other women is not necessarily dependent on having had our personal boundaries violated.

Agree with this entirely. I was just glad that SMG was capable of seeing where I, personally, was coming from based on what I said.

@GibbertyFlibbert 'Totally agree but we are only talking about women sharing spaces with other women'

That's not what we are talking about, we are talking about female only spaces for females. I'm totally fine interacting with anyone in daily life. (Some people are not but I am.) But intimate spaces are sex segregated and should remain so.

Totally agree but we are only talking about women sharing spaces with other women

You mean those women that are men? Lol. You are so disingenuous. Imagine giving literally no shit about women and girls that you have to pretend men are women in order to violate them. Why would you do that?