Mumsnet is a hotbed of terrorist radicalisation

[Twunk]

According to someone on Twitter

[Fintress]

I'm just about to Zoflora the hell out of my bins whilst wearing leggings, my new interventionist bra and I'm a sponging prostitute SAHW. When do I get arrested 😱

I refuse to have a bog brush that's a step too militant

[Juells]

The drama is so tiresome 😒 Imagine having to deal with someone like that in real life 😒

[Badgerthebodger]

Now listen, I thought we’d agreed not to talk about the loo brushes, you know it’s a critical part of the radicalisation plan. You’ll be telling people about the organised tinkly laugh in Kings Cross any minute now and that’s our mass destruction weapon.

[Twunk]

Maybe they’re confused between Mumsnet and the provisional wing of Netmums?

[AsAProfessionalFekko]

It's a twitter bot. Has to be.

[Lweji]

It's the Trump threads isn't it?

[Lweji]

And don't get me started on those "weddings" abroad. Maui?

[NotARegularPenguin]

It’s not style and beauty, it’s the dog section. I mean it’s calmed down now from the really militant days but that’s where the terrorists are!

[FlippinFumin]

The last time I went to buy Zoflora, some kind soul who works filling shelves had put the Hyacinth and the Bouquet next to each other. It made me smile.

[Floisme]

Dunno Not - I've been in far more fights on Style & Beauty than I've even seen on here. I probably started most of them too.

[Slapdasherie]

Is it possible that ‘bleaching door frames’ was really code for ‘putting Russian nerve agent on door handles’ and Mumsnet has actually been infiltrated by a sleeper cell to bring down the UK government.

I wonder what Vlad was plotting with the ‘women and children don’t say cheers’ thread?

[Sarahconnor1]

Such hyperbole, they sound a bit unhinged. They must be so exhausting to be around IRL.

[FlippinFumin]

Perhaps bleaching skirting boards is where the real radicals can be found. No one seems to be talking about the skirting boards.

[boatyardblues]

Mortificado was paradoxically anarchic despite the vast excess of royalty.

It just occurred me thst there was a massive missed opportunity for a parallel Mortificado royal wedding a couple of weekends ago. We should organise one to coincide with the ginger princess’s wedding (Bea? Eugenie?) in the autumn.

[Poppyred85]

I was radicalised by MN Zofloraists into putting a few drops into my hoover. They said it would make the house smell lovely when I hoovered — a million times a day. bloody dog and small child mess— . It didn’t. Now my house smells like dead musty flowers whenever I hoover and my life is ruined. All because of MNHQ failure to tackle these extremists.

[Poppyred85]

Oops strike through fail. Sorry.

[Bowlofbabelfish]

Is this the person who was having the 15:00 meeting with antiterrorism? I’d have loved to have been a fly on the wall at that one.
Can just imagine the morning briefing: ‘Good morning everyone. Right, another busy day keeping Britain safer Smith, you take the tip off about the possible bombing attempt. Robson, id like you to investigate the tip on funding for jihadi networks. Now then we’ve got a good one here ... mumsnet. (Room sniggers.) (points to junior officer who is still on probation) McKeith, I think you can take this one. ‘But siiiirrrr....’

[WatermelonGlitter]

Of course the really serious radicalisation is taking place over on Facebook..where they soak tampons and sanitary towels in zoflora and stick them behind the radiators to make the house smell nice. Someone should tell MI6 or something.

[AsAProfessionalFekko]

Am I missing something here? Is there a secret hidden topic area or a password?

[FlippinFumin]

My God WatermelonGlitter, things have moved on from my days of shoving a tumble dryer sheet down the back of the radiator. That is truly serious radicalisation.

[ReluctantCamper]

things mumsnet has radicalised me into doing:

• buying bras that fit
  
• couch to 5k
  
• korean skin care routine (love getting my little packages from the east, although now I realise it puts me on some sort of list)
  
• starting my xmas present buying in April
  
• not using disablist insults
  
• buying all sorts of shit
  

truly this place can change your life.

[BeyondRedYNWA]

No zoflora here. I had an old boss who was radicalised way before mn on the zoflora front and used to insist that whoever cleaned the toilets had to use it. That's put me off for life.

[birdsdestiny]

Is anyone else quite proud. To be honest I thought I was a 40 something slightly overweight woman fucking about on the internet. Turns out I am an international terrorist. I have never achieved so much with so little effort. If I actually put some effort in I could be prime minister by next Tuesday.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Of course, MN is U.K. based, so it's understandable people who get their 'information' largely from US-dominated web sources will believe we're pretty much in a terrorist state anyway as this comment piece in today's Times explains. (Note the one area where he does seem to think we have a potential problem though, towards the bottom...)

[ReluctantCamper]

yep, who knew we were so powerful? I mean if a bunch of (mainly) women chatting has the same effect as literal violence who knows what else we could do?

Actually, take a look at the Man Friday for a real life example. well done again chaps.

no wonder us talking here scares the crap out of a certain sort of man.