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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Bad feminist :(

88 replies

DidoAndHerLament · 20/05/2018 09:36

I didn't watch the royal wedding yesterday. Because I think the monarchy represent the worst display of revolting inherited privilege and wealth. And because I think marriage is outdated patriarchal nonsense.

However. I have just watched a 10 minute video of the 'best bits' from yesterday, and I am crying. A mixture of joy and sadness I think. And (can't believe I'm saying this), a tinge of national pride. Shock

Do I need to tear up my feminist memberhsip card?? Confused

OP posts:
UpstartCrow · 20/05/2018 09:42

Yes, hand it in at once and go present yourself to the re-education camp Grin

ReluctantCamper · 20/05/2018 09:43

at the risk of sounding like a pointlessly aggressive AIBU poster, no why?

genuine question Smile

ReluctantCamper · 20/05/2018 09:45

i paid it no attention but did have a peek at the dress on the internet. I thought it was a bit boring.

i have expressed an opinion about another woman's clothing choices so will also report for reeducation instanter.

Original poster
DidoAndHerLament · 20/05/2018 09:54

Ah yes, the re-education camp. Hand your bra in at the door and spend 6 hours a day reading Dworkin Grin.

Not sure what your question is UpstartCrow, did you mean why did I watch the video? Curiosity, idly clicking links to shameful websites like the Sun, wondering what all the fuss was about I suppose.

OP posts:
ReluctantCamper · 20/05/2018 09:57

no, it was why you felt that feeling a twinge of national pride was incompatible with being a feminist (if that's what you meant).

Original poster
DidoAndHerLament · 20/05/2018 10:04

Ah I see. No, the national pride twinge was just an added bonus on top of the weirdness of enjoying a non-feminist spectacle.

OP posts:
AssignedPuuurfectAtBirth · 20/05/2018 10:06

I am definately not a Royalist but I wanted to see the dress. She was lovely. I feel no guilt

rememberthetime · 20/05/2018 10:09

I went out for coffee and a sit out in the sun. It was deserted and lovely. No one about and the roads empty. I did see pictures online. But still can't get excited about it.

rememberthetime · 20/05/2018 10:11

Oh and the people who were out were almost all men. Women appeared to have been wiped out by some kind of wedding fever!

LangCleg · 20/05/2018 10:11

Well, I alternated between footling about on the interwebz and cooking up my mountains of rhubarb so missed the entire thing. Am also footling about on the interwebz and rhubarbing today so hopefully will miss the endless highlight repeats.

Do I get to keep my feminist card for not watching? Or do I have to hand it in for doing wifely rhubarb things? I think I can keep it because I've got one of the DSs doing rhubarb and onion chopping.

(Also: rhubarb should be renamed triffid.)

MrsHathaway · 20/05/2018 10:11

It felt a more feministy wedding than many - I felt that walking most of the way on her own was a strong and independent thing to do, and although there were many men among the officials eg clergy and the chapel choir, many of the other participants were women including nearly all the string ensemble and the gospel choir. I gather the Duchess gave a speech at the reception rather than sitting meekly while men talked about her.

Maybe feminist detention for you (and me) rather than full re-education?

ReluctantCamper · 20/05/2018 10:11

hmm, what was non feminist about the wedding?

Prince charles giving her away I suppose.

But I don't expect she made any promises to 'obey', I'd guess the vows were OK.

no problem with her wearing a big white frock, people should be able to wear whatever they like. Harry looked nice too.

in fact more power to her, as given that I understand this is her second marriage, the traditional symbolism of the white dress is completely out of the window.

did she wear a veil? doesn't that have some weird symbolism of virginity?

Floisme · 20/05/2018 10:12

I'm in it for the frocks. I don't like wedding dresses but I love looking at what the guests wear.

I always go on Style and Beauty before I come here. Soz.

MrsHathaway · 20/05/2018 10:13

I don't think he gave her away - they didn't do the "who gives this woman to be married to this man" bit iirc. He just accompanied her and had made a public statement about how he was doing so to welcome her to the firm family.

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 20/05/2018 10:13

remember

Yes it was funny seeing all the men with small children out and about

Dh and i were out FINISHING OUR PUB (i may have mentioned it..its in the garden, its a shed with a bar) and it was virtually empty everywhere!!

Best...... Shopping.......Trip...... EVER!

MIdgebabe · 20/05/2018 10:15

If I get +1 point for not watching, how many deductions for going shopping instead? I figured it would be quiet.

NoSquirrels · 20/05/2018 10:26

I quite liked it, from a feminist POV.

She walked alone up the aisle with two boys behind her holding her veil.

Her future FIL leant his arm for the last bit, but didn't "give her away" - he just accompanied her to Harry and then went off again.

It felt as if it balanced all the pomp and circumstance with the intimate, which was lovely.

And I usually DGAF about the Royals!

ReluctantCamper · 20/05/2018 10:31

I've only heard bits and pieces on the radio, but I gather that MMs family are thoroughly batshit, and seemed to be doing their best to ruin it for her. I heaved a little sigh of relief for her when it was all over.

It feels like a progressive move. Harry was able to marry the person he chose, despite facts about her which 80 years ago in similar circumstances meant a choice between remaining in the royal familiy or marrying.

next step a same sex marriage...

LaSqrrl · 20/05/2018 10:42

Opiate for the masses. The so-called 'royal family' are just there by privilege of birth, based on the historical collection of violent ancestors. Not exactly a special class of people when viewed that way, especially seeings they live off the public purse.

I was so seriously disappointed with Amal Clooney. She is supposed to be a savvy HR lawyer, but excelled herself at being arm-candy and traded away all her IQ points. No, if you are engaging in outrageous displays of femininity, you have lost the plot.

On that front, yes, I perhaps lost all feminist cred.
However, you cannot dismantle the master's house by using his tools.
I stand by my disappointment.

Original poster
DidoAndHerLament · 20/05/2018 10:47

I've thought about this a bit more and I think my teary reaction came from an emotional/personal place, being happy for a young couple in love and celebrating that with friends & family. Plus all the stirring music and pomp & ceremony that I find moving, perhaps from some sort of tribal point of view. I grew up in the UK so can't but help absorbing some sense of 'Britishness'.

But that's all separate to my objection to the structural inequality inherent in inherited privilege and all the traditional sex roles on display. That feels like thoughtful principles I've chosen to uphold.

So yes, perhaps just a formal warning, rather than expulsion. Smile

OP posts:
Rufustheyawningreindeer · 20/05/2018 10:49

midge

Depends what you were shopping for

Diy, pizza and beer .....me, so i reckon thats lots of points

(Not competitive at all)

Floisme · 20/05/2018 10:51

Alteratively, maybe Amal just likes a nice yellow frock and, in her line of work, doesn't get much opportunity to wear one?

UpstartCrow · 20/05/2018 10:54

I get that sense of national pride when I go places like the Natural History Museum, or look at my local Norman church.
Its not nationalism. We aren't taking the credit for it.

speakingwoman · 20/05/2018 11:02

Be at peace with the fact you enjoyed watching bits of a wedding.

FlorenceLyons · 20/05/2018 11:05

I'm a staunch feminist, atheist and republican and I watched and enjoyed the wedding.

Like Flo, I was mainly in it for the frocks, but I thought the gospel choir was fabulous, the American preacher was both hilarious and quite moving, and the whole thing was much less traditional than I was expecting.