Bad feminist :(

[DidoAndHerLament]

I didn't watch the royal wedding yesterday. Because I think the monarchy represent the worst display of revolting inherited privilege and wealth. And because I think marriage is outdated patriarchal nonsense.

However. I have just watched a 10 minute video of the 'best bits' from yesterday, and I am crying. A mixture of joy and sadness I think. And (can't believe I'm saying this), a tinge of national pride.

Do I need to tear up my feminist memberhsip card??

Floisme: Admittedly I've only looked at still photos so maybe I'm missing the mannerisms.

Yes you did, it was all about the mannerisms. Not the frock she was wearing.

As to Amal Clooney's mannerisms, that made me think quite hard. If gender is culturally mediated by social expectations, as feminism posits, is there such a thing as neutral gender expression?

Her mannerisms might be read as "girly", but how much of that is our understanding of cultural expectations versus her own personality? What would be appropriate mannerisms for a woman of her intellect and capability? Would more stereotypically masculine mannerisms seem more suited to her achievements? But that would be playing into another stereotype that success depends on behaving like men.

Dance, her mannerisms were, and there are not really adequate words to describe really, a complete and utter embrace of the femininity display of acquiescence. Perhaps a poor choice of words to say she 'lost IQ points', however, to all the males viewing that display, she did. I am not sure why women cannot see that, perhaps not working in male dominated fields?

Yes, there is totally a way you can conduct yourself in a professional manner, without displays of femininity, or indeed masculinity - but you have to also be aware of what those displays are (in order to avoid both). You can get a start by the clothes you wear (I am talking about in work, not social function, although I would never wear a dress), and not be giggly (be serious), not be apologetic for having an opinion, certainly be engaged and not aloof, but also connect with the inter-personal dynamics of the meeting, without being 'the waitress' type personality. It does help being three times as good as any bloke in the room, but seriously, that is not hard to achieve at all.

It is a mistake to say one must be 'an honorary man', you don't have to be. But avoiding femininity displays is a must if you are to be taken seriously at all. If you do partake in femininity displays, you will be judged (by men) by those displays.

Women make the big mistake of thinking some of their 'harmless' pretty (femininity) displays/clothing is no big deal. It actually is if you want to get ahead, and be taken seriously within a male-dominated world (and all of it is btw). How men view these displays, is that they will see you as 'less than human' (ie less than male), and treat you accordingly.

TL;DR Yellow dress? I did not notice. I did notice her demeanour though. Which demeaned her. I am sure she is better than that.

Women make the big mistake of thinking some of their 'harmless' pretty (femininity) displays/clothing is no big deal. It actually is if you want to get ahead, and be taken seriously within a male-dominated world (and all of it is btw). How men view these displays, is that they will see you as 'less than human' (ie less than male), and treat you accordingly.

So the very successful, internationally recognised, human rights lawyer is getting it all wrong? Who knew?

Amal, get back in yer dungarees and you might actually make something of yourself.

(DancelikeEmmaGoldman there's a lovely bit later where he's recounting an extremely exciting, violent and dramatic event, and she interrupts him to ask what he was wearing - lawks I love that book)

So the very successful, internationally recognised, human rights lawyer is getting it all wrong? Who knew?

I very much doubt few people other than LaSqrrl looked at Amal Clooney and came to the conclusions LaSqrrl has come to.

Woman wears dress , high heels and links arms to walk with her husband apparently is a complete and utter embrace of the femininity display of acquiescence

Perhaps a poor choice of words to say she 'lost IQ points', however, to all the males viewing that display, she did. I am not sure why women cannot see that, perhaps not working in male dominated fields?

Really- you know what is going on in all males' heads? Perhaps other woman can't see it because what you see is your interpretation rather than an actual fact?

I find your choice of language really bizarre- "displays", "demeaning", "lowering herself" etc.

I enjoyed it. Especially watching all the high church types going into shock during the Episcopal Bishop giving it some right welly.

This was my favorite part. In fact, here in the US, there have been quite a few comedy bits (including Saturday Night Live) about the culture clash of an African American style of preaching in that setting. Of course, an interesting side note is that the US Episcopal Church, of which Bishop Curry is the highest prelate, was suspended by the Anglican Communion because it solemnizes same sex marriages.

I got up at 4 o'clock in the morning to watch it. I love the spectacle; I'm interested in most all things British, especially history; I like fashion; and I have even watched Suits.

And this marriage has resulted in the first appearance of the word "feminist" on the official website of the Royal Family.

No apologies from me, and I consider my feminist credentials fully in tact.

It occurred to me that anyone saying the sermon was not very CofE probably hasn't been in a CofE church much recently as it felt very familiar to me!

So the very successful, internationally recognised, human rights lawyer is getting it all wrong? Who knew? Amal, get back in yer dungarees and you might actually make something of yourself.

That's not what was being said. She got a dress described as 'mustard' coloured on the BBC desperately wrong. It was awful looking. She played with her hair endlessly throughout the ceremony and barely spoke to her husband, George who looked old and tired.

I'm a feminist Christian who normally doesnt give a shit about the doings of the royal family, but I was at a wedding party where the tv was on for the whole coverage. And I admit to feeling really tearful at the amazing spectacle of a royal wedding that actively welcomed and included black culture as an equal partner with the British traditional aspects.
Bishop Murray's heartfelt and wonderful sermon was a rush of fresh air into a stuffy establishment. If more of our vicars preached like that, our church membership would not be falling. You could feel the love of God radiating from him, much to the shock of some of the stuffed shirts in attendance! His comment "Two people fell in love and we all showed up!" encapsulated this utterly modern wedding perfectly.
Full marks to Meghan and her amazingly dignified mother, for dragging the royals into the 21st century with such style.
And there was no "giving away" or "obeying" to offend my feminist sensibilities. I loved every minute of the ceremony.

Well I am totally confused about what's being said about Amal Clooney. LaSqrrl specifically said it wasn't about the dress but about showing 'a waitress type personality' - an expression that, on another day, I find find more problematic than the sight a professional woman getting dressed up for a wedding, but I'm too busy trying to keep up to argue right now.

But now it seems it is about the dress after all, plus she played with her hair and didn't pay attention to her husband?

Righto.

George Clooney is 57, which must be considered fairly old, and he has twin children who are almost 1. I think he's allowed to look "old and tired".

I really don't understand why Amal Clooney is being singled out for her dress/behaviour.

But now it seems it is about the dress after all, plus she played with her hair and didn't pay attention to her husband?

Heaven forfend that a married woman should pay attention to someone other than her husband at a social event.

I'm genuinely at a loss to see what has generated this disparagement of Amal Clooney and the unpleasant, judgemental language.

I'm a fairly fire-breathing radical, always have been, and I've enjoyed the various photos and clips I've seen of the lovely perfectly acceptable couple, the beautiful people, gorgeous clothes, and the hats. Oh, the hats! I get the biggest kick out of the hats.

Honestly, I feel kind of grateful that anyone would go to so much trouble to give me something beautiful to gawp at. The British monarchy are the best in the world at spectacle. Don't sell them short. It serves a purpose to provide visions of a many-splendored state we don't usually see.

And also strongly second those noting how fine it was to see the understated feminism, the nontoxic masculinity, the great contributions from black traditions. I mean, yes, the Great Flood is still everywhere but maybe - does someone have binoculars? - that bird on the horizon is carrying a branch of something in its beak.

:)