Your Teenage Child tells you they think they are Transgender

[sallyannemum]

Your teenage child tells you they think they are transgender, they have researched the subject on the internet and talked to others, What would your reaction be ?,

I agree with this. But and this is a big but, the trans Google am I trans no longer allows this. If it was a simple case of teen trend it would not be an issue. Sadly, this is not the case. Our kids are told transition or die. I am not being melodramatic. The op stated they didn't even Google trans. What a load of bollocks. If you have a child who says this you will, if you are anyway decent as a parent, find out as much as you can. You would want to know where your child got the info and you would research as much as you possibly could. I am researching every day and every free hour. That's what a concerned parent should do.

Sallyannemum
I am serial posting again. I'm too old to care what others think of this.
I don't know if your child is male or female as in natal male/female. Even having to say natal makes me mad. Our kids are either male or female. Anything else is contrived. I can say this because I'm living it. This is my opinion.
As a female with a trans identifying female I just want to explain my position.
I am a female/woman.
I believe in female spaces.
I believe no female, especially children should share any private space with a man.
Now, how do I as a female support my son who wants to be a female and marry my right as a female to not be exposed to a penis? This is very difficult. I love my child but I would not want him to usurp female spaces. This is wrong. I would hate it if my child thought he was entitled to lesbian relationships and has a dick. Maybe your child is female and it doesn't have the same implications . For me, I cannot accept this. A man, should be nowhere near a female space. Makes me so mad, yet people are trying to tell me I have to accept this.

Surgery was the only way to get her papers (bus pass, driving licence, bank papers, passport, ...) in line with the life she was living, the only way that allowed her to 'just live'.

How on earth is this? Surgery is not a requirement for any of those things, nor should it be..that would be barbaric.

The question is not so much 'how on earth' but 'where and when is this' (answer: not very long ago, not very far away) and yes, it was barbaric.

I am glad it is not so here and now. Too late for my sister, unfortunately.

I find it troubling that hormones and surgery seem to be becoming ever more the 'self-evident' path to pursue. Rather than exploring radical non-conformity, as SarahCarer describes.

So true. This is the most dangerous aspect of trans. Those who are truly distressed, and this is a minority, are being called out because the transtrenders are making most of us reject the fact that they are truly distressed. It is harming them. When I talk about trans I do so in the modern activism. Those who suffer greatly from this, the transexuals, as we used to know it, are transexuals who had to grapple long and hard with it. Now, a child/teen only has to say it the once and every one is in agreement. no exploration
of alternative reasons required. No questioning at all. Our teens are teens who rightly question the status quo but now they can't even do this without the trans train taking them on a one way ticket. The trans ideoly knows that teens are vulnerable and they play it to there advantage. They are recruiters of vulnerable teens. My child is vulnerable. I know this and this is why he has got caught up in it. He is of an age where he naturally rebels against his parents. Trans activists play on this but they lurk, like paedophiles waiting to swoop on the vulnerable

The rest of your word salad was based on either misunderstanding or dishonesty. Still I do want to thank you for being the kazillionth person to come to the FWR and tell us we are Feminisming wrong and need to be nice like the other girls are.

Ok, I get it, message arrived. You are not able or not willing to read what I write as anything except word salad, misunderstanding or dishonesty. So there is no point really in me saying anything else to you, there is no chance you will take it at face value anyway.

For the record (if anyone else is reading) I believe I wrote that I do not know how best to react to attacks, and recognise that it is hard to keep an honest and open debate going in such circumstances. Also that I feel that if the possibility of honest and open debate gets lost, we all lose.

(On the other hand, I feel there has been much that has been good on this thread here.)

If you want to construe that as me lecturing 'you' on how to do feminism, so be it. It is not my intent (I didn't think I was commenting on how anyone is doing feminism); but I cannot change your perception.

I guess I don't qualify as part of the 'we'. I am not sure why not.

Perhaps if I legitimised myself more? Do I have to explain that I have two children, a boy and a girl, for both of whose futures I am greatly concerned in this world of ever more rigid gender stereotypes? Or that one of them grew in my womb and fed from my breasts, to demonstrate that I am not a man pretending to be something else? Or to offset that I have a trans sibling, a reality I have lived with for over 20 years now; it seems to cast me under suspicion of being more concerned for men's rights than for my own or my children's. Unfortunately my posting history does not go back to when I was dealing with miscarriages and breastfeeding issues, as my other child's safety requires me to avoid becoming too identifiable (therefore I periodically namechange). So you will just have to take my word for it. Or not, as you wish.

My main point in this thread (in answer to the OP) is that I think that if my child should tell me they were trans, I should hope I was able to pursue a path with them that sounds a bit like what SarahCarer did/is doing with her DC. Try to find a gender non-conforming way to live rather than going for hormones/surgery. But in actual fact, with the cult-like stuff going on, I'm rather scared that that would not be enough.

The non conforming stuff is of old. We, the older people here, understood it. The trans nonsense doesn't. So yes, I would be fearful off bringing my child into these new rules. We have gone backwards and reinforced stereotypes. Sadly our non conforming kids no longer can be just that. They have to be the opposite sex. How is this progressive?

I find it troubling that hormones and surgery seem to be becoming ever more the 'self-evident' path to pursue.

For children and women. They are certainly being pushed into medicalisation. But middle aged men are pursuing demedicalisation as fast as their nails dry.

Truthwillin I am sorry I must be the person who made you feel like you were being accused of bullying. I felt people were piling on and misunderstanding a couple of heartfelt posts by brilliotic (and a couple of others) and just wanted to assure her that not everyone was jumping to the same conclusions.

Thanks SarahCarer that’s clear and I completely agree with you. I don’t believe a feeling of being “trans” is innate at all. If there were no gender stereotypes or homophobia, I don’t think there would be any need for anyone to identify as trans.

OP

Genuine question as my friend is going through this with her child at the moment. I am assuming your child is a young adult since you have talked about a driving licence.

If your child decides to have them, do you have any concerns that your child might regret any medical interventions in the future?

Wireless mouse.
The difference I have seen in my child is just astounding, I have asked that question often and the answer is always the same, “No way I am going back there” they are now so confident it’s hard to believe it’s the same person,

Thanks OP, although my question was more about how you feel about your child taking hormones and surgery rather than the transition itself.

Wireless mouse

I have no issues whatsoever, I will support them through surgery the same way as I have done with hormones, it’s my child’s choice and I respect that. The difference I have seen has shown me what ever they want to do I will not stop them and give them my full support now and in the future.

I don't believe my DS would ever do this, as we've had conversations his whole life about gender stereotyping, and he knows he can do whatever he likes and present however he likes without having to believe the lie that he's a different sex.

Having said that, I've got every sympathy for parents whose kids have been drawn into this kind of nonsense - there but for the grace of god, and all the rest of it. I don't think any of us could have possibly imagined ahead of time the kind of Alice-in-Wonderland bullshit that kids are exposed to now.

Thank you to those who have shared their personal insights and stories on this thread. I have been touched by much of what I've read. So many women who have been through so much, searching for truth, holding tight to compassion, considering the needs of the many and the few. Sometimes coping is a triumph.

Archery Annie
I don’t need your sympathy, my child was not drawn into nonsense, Alice in Wonderland Bullshit, really.

I'm afraid we will have to disagree on that, sallyannemum. I'm sure you and your child are going ahead as you both see best, but I see things very differently, and I do have sympathy for parents who see their kids caught up in this kind of ideology.

Archery Annie
Until you can speak from personal experience I suggest you shut up, it’s not ideology it’s real life and will continue .

I haven't read this whole thread so I apologise in advance if I'm wrong or have missed something, but I get the impression that your child is what used to be known as transsexual @sallyannemum? Presumably if they are planning on physically transitioning then they have a diagnosis of gender dysphoria.

I'm trans and I've been posting on here for over a year now. IME people on here don't have a problem with those who wish to physically and socially transition.

Order me another curry,
Yes they have a diagnosis of gender dystopia and surgery will be going ahead,
If that makes me a bad parent well so be it , I would rather have a happy child.
You really need to read the full thread it’s quite sick the assumptions made,

‘Your teenage child tells you they think they are transgender, they have researched the subject on the internet and talked to others, What would your reaction be ?,’

I would ask ‘what makes you think you might be transgender?’

I will gladly take your sympathy. I agree it is Alice in wonderland bullshit. I can say this because I am a parent with a different perspective than the Op.
I have no one to turn to. Every institution is being fed this ideology to the point that it will seem that the parent opposing this is abusive and they are the ones with mental health issues.
How sad is this. How terrible is it that parents are no longer allowed to question and give their child space to live an informed life that changes with experiences and maturity. My teen self is very different to my adult self. And, I am still learning about myself even though I am a long time on this planet.
If anyone here has a child/teen, I would seriously keep a close watch.
This is also a trend. Kids love to be part of trends. They don't have our knowledge on gender construct. They only see what is put out there now. This seems normal to their developing mind. 72 genders, gender spectrum etc will seem OK. I thought I taught my child about gender but the whole explosion blindsided me. I was unaware. Too busy thinking about the usual teen dilemmas. This though is our kids dilemma. Cutting, goth, emo, suicide, anorexia, drugs and alcohol are being replaced by hormones, masectomies, castration, neo vaginas, chest binding, facial reconstruction, breast implants, voice coaching and feminity /masculinity coaching. We have gone backwards and redefining sex to fit with the hyper sexualistion of females and the toxic masculinity of males. I thought we had progressed but evidently not.

Truthwillwin My heart goes out to you. I don't think I've read a truer post than the one you've just written. It is a cult and it's terrifying.

Sallyann
The assumptions said is a result of you not telling anyone that your child was transgender until very late in this thread. You posed the question hypothetically so people were being honest and not getting at you personally. Saying that, we all have right to our opinion and telling someone to shut up is overly defensive. If you assumed all would have your view then you are obviously not looking at all sides of the coin. I have researched everything I can. That includes all perspectives. I am aware what people might think about my views. If I wasn't prepared to take some hostility I would not engage. But you started the post. I am not saying you are wrong to support your child in whatever way yo want but neither am I. My support is different and one I will have to live with. It might change but for now I still believe my child's presenting to be trans is a symptom.