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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

Your Teenage Child tells you they think they are Transgender

209 replies

sallyannemum · 10/05/2018 21:06

Your teenage child tells you they think they are transgender, they have researched the subject on the internet and talked to others, What would your reaction be ?,

OP posts:

thebewilderness · 12/05/2018 00:46

@Truthwillwin In case you do not know about 4th wave here is a link. Lot's of help there.
4thwavenow.com/

brilliotic
I don't think telling women that being judged every day in every way was too much for your sibling is going to get the traction on a forum full of women that you think it should.

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 00:52

Really. I am in this trans nonsense a long time now. I so know that those who are actually going through this get it. So please do not patronise me. I am in the know.

Thanks for the 4th wave nod. It was this that helped me.

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 00:54

Bewilderness, I have being reading your threads. Thank you for your insight

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 00:56

Ps. It is not my sibling. A sibling would be my brother or sister. I am talking about my child. Not sibling.

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 01:03

Brilliotic
I rest my case. My work is done. Was waiting for this response to prove the this thread was indeed an attempt to guilt me and others like me out. You fell into the trap.

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 01:09

I don't think telling women that being judged every day in every way was too much for your sibling is going to get the traction on a forum full of women that you think it should.

Call me thick but this doesn't make sense to me. Could you say what you mean in a different way. I don't get the inference.

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 01:17

Brilliotic when you said '. If that means changing their bodies, I would feel very angry that we live in a time and place where that is the only way, but I would support them every step of the way nonetheless.
This is coming from a sibling. Not a parent. Very different. So please do not reje t my parental right.

thebewilderness · 12/05/2018 01:21

Truthwillwin
I thought it was Brilliotic's sibling. That is who I was addressing. Sorry for the confusion.

thebewilderness · 12/05/2018 01:26

This is the bit from Brilliotic where women who are judged every day of their life were supposed to empathize because it happens to a male from time to time and is too much for them.

Then you find you need to prove that you are the same person as it says on your document. You need to explain your life to a stranger. And there are the judging looks, picking out your more masculine bodily features. Discrimination. Hostility. Harrassment.

Though such situations do not arise every day, they arise frequently enough that she grew increasingly anxious, until she barely was able to leave the house anymore. No longer able to work, she had to face yet another person judging her in order to claim any sort of benefits. She was treated for anxiety but grew so tired of it all.

It's a damn shame that men refuse to broaden the bandwidth for what constitutes a man instead of declaring that they want to be women now so the women need to get the eff out of their way.

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 01:34

Haha. See I don't understand this forum. Just a newbie. So it was you who said that not brilliotic oops sorry. Lot to learn. Anyway despite this I still stand by my views. Why would anyone post this thread in a feminist post if it wasn't to try and bully patents who are rightly sceptical. For me, it was an attempt to make my belief shameful. The very nature of the question seemed like a set up. If you have to ask this question it means you have no experience in the dilemma that we, the parents who are dealing with this are going through. It is a hypothetical question for some. Sadly it is a reality for others. Trust me, you would not want to be where I am now. All your live and let live stance will come back to bite you. My child believed it would be OK to tell me because I was that parent. Never, ever did I imagine I would have to deal with a delusion. Because that is what it is. Trying to get through to someone with a delusion is so hard. My truth is to ensure I do not collude

thebewilderness · 12/05/2018 01:44

Truthwillwin
Mumsnet has been under attack for some weeks because of Feminists and women's opposition to the amendment under consideration regarding Self ID for transgender identified persons, as well as what is being taught to children by government backed gender charities because of the unintended consequences resulting from interpretation and application of the Gender Recognition Act and the Equality Act..

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 01:45

So to the original poster my answer is tell your child the truth. Remember you are the parent not the friend. Do not give them the power over you for fear of the trans nonsense suicide stats. Do not agree with the trans ideoly because your son or daughter will believe that it is OK to usurp the life another sex. Reality is that this will be more difficult for them. If it is your child you really mustask yours why they feel this way. You must see this as a symptom

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 01:55

I see that mumsnet is coming in for flak. Whilst this is difficult for those of you who have been here for a long time I think it also has been beneficial. It has brought me here and probably a lot more.
Despite having a child/teen who is buying I to the nonsense, it is also an issue of female spaces. So on one hand I have to deal with trans but I also have to deal with my rights as a female. It is very difficult to reassure a child when you also need to fight for female rights

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 01:57

Sorry for typos. On phone

DarthArts · 12/05/2018 01:59

It's sad we have to assure children in this regard at all.

DarthArts · 12/05/2018 02:02

Sorry post fail.

Social contagion is a big issue. It needs to be studied better.

thebewilderness · 12/05/2018 02:20

The social contagion of suicides has been studied for a number of years. That is one of the reasons I am so shocked that this current example of social contagion is getting so little push back.

Now that I think of it though, being born in the wrong body was a great hook for a story, so expecting those who profited from spreading it to try to staunch it is unrealistic. They are committed to their bottom line.

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 02:23

I don't need this hypothetical question. I'm already there.
I cry every night for hours. I wake up and cry. I have a bit of a break at work but as soon as my work is done I cry again. I don't sleep, I can't eat. I consider myself as a non functioning adult. It is devastating and all consuming. Yet I have to try and maintain normality. So let's not worry about our kids needs and focus on the parents. Once I go down the whole family goes down. Who is more important. I would say me because I have to hold it all together to enable my family to have some life. They dont see this. Too wrapped up om me, me, me world.

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 02:32

Definitely on a rant here. Actually shouldn't even say rant cause it belittles my thoughts. Nonetheless, imagine if I posted what would you say if your child's was a rapist, paedophile, drug addict etc.? Do you really think this can be answered realistically. Would you say you would support your child?

Truthwillwin · 12/05/2018 02:46

Social Contagion is acknowledged for suicides. Indeed, the guidelines suggest that suicide in youths should no be publicised. Yet here we are publicising how to be trans, or am I trans and we wonder why there has been an explosion. Back in my day, I was a tomboy. Today I would believe I was trans. So trans equates with tomboy in some views. It might seem benign until you realise it is a gateway to hormones and surgery. This is what is so damaging. It's not the oh I'm gender something or other. These words are just words. It's the follow through that is damaging. I can be gender whatever but the trans police will tell me I have to transition. I will not be allowed to just be non conforming I will be bulldozed I to meds a d surgery. If I don't do surgery I will expect people to belive that my genitals are female if a guy. As in female penis. Need I say more. Wake up to this please. Trans is not a state. It is a movement

DarthArts · 12/05/2018 02:54

Truth

DarthArts · 12/05/2018 02:58

@sallyannemum

What would you do?

BettyFloop · 12/05/2018 03:23

Trans is not a state. It is a movement

You're in the right place Truthwillwin - the women here know and understand what you're saying. You'll find support here. And you're right - you're the important one in your own situation because if you crumble under the pressure the whole house of cards goes down and there will be casualties.
Quite apart from the appropriation of women's identity and women's spaces, the trans rights activist's agenda has absolutely no conscience about the "collateral damage" it causes - and, yes, women bear the brunt of that as well.
Your anger is righteous.

claraschu · 12/05/2018 04:47

People who feel the need to post multiple times in a row, shouting down the thoughtful and pained posts of other people: this seems like bullying to me- unkind, closed, black-and-white thinking.

Brilliotic what a thoughtful and nuanced view.

thebewilderness · 12/05/2018 05:08

claraschu

Serial posting is usually because the person is posting comments as they read comments made on the thread.

It is quite a common occurrence on forums, though I can see where it might seem odd at first.

As far as the rest of your hectoring

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