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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Your peaktrans moment for today! Top this if you can.

388 replies

Ritzsaltedcrackers · 25/04/2018 13:21

A woman was thrown out of a FB feminist group for challenging the idea that transwomen get periods.

apparently they DO get periods just without the small aspect of bleeding.

She was told that she was minimising transwomen's periods.

www.facebook.com/beth.rep/posts/10216741083464856

OP posts:
AngryAttackKittens · 26/04/2018 08:21

My take on this is that, look, I unfortunately have experience with cluster B personalities, which many prominent TRAs have. You can't tactfully steer them into being willing to listen to you or to compromise. There is no way in which you can deny them something that they want that won't result in them being enraged and upping the attempts to bully you into compliance. Women are not required to try not to offend people with abusive, controlling personalities, and saying "no, fuck that" is a perfectly valid response (and ime one that's better for your own mental health).

Also, women are allowed to vent, snark, make jokes with each other, etc. There is nothing feminist about trying to prevent other women from doing those things.

Rufustheconstantreindeer · 26/04/2018 08:24

angry

Nope Grin

I have a lot of respect for the vaild anger of some of the women on this board

I like a fair few of the 'stand out' posters (stop preening angry)

I report actively transphobic posts and i cringe when some of you sail close to MNHQ wind and are subsequently deleted

But I absolutely stand up for womens rights to be angry and NORMAL
Its normal to be blunt and outspoken and accidentally rude

And in real life my friends would be cracked up at how restrained on here...they wouldn't recognise me at all Grin

They would recognise the swearing though

Rufustheconstantreindeer · 26/04/2018 08:25

Oh cross post

Ereshkigal · 26/04/2018 08:28

My take on this is that, look, I unfortunately have experience with cluster B personalities, which many prominent TRAs have. You can't tactfully steer them into being willing to listen to you or to compromise. There is no way in which you can deny them something that they want that won't result in them being enraged and upping the attempts to bully you into compliance.

YY. Exactly this. I've been made to walk on eggshells by abusive men before.

AngryAttackKittens · 26/04/2018 08:29

And in real life my friends would be cracked up at how restrained on here...they wouldn't recognise me at all

One of my friends said she could practically see me struggling to restrain myself on here.

And yet still it apparently won't be enough unless I turn into...well, someone else entirely. Totes reasonable request, that, eh?

AngryAttackKittens · 26/04/2018 08:32

YY, Ereshkigal. Can't say I have much positive to say about my least favorite ex, but at least dealing with him resulted in my learning that particular lesson early. I refuse to unlearn it just because some random on the internet tells me to.

Havoc · 26/04/2018 08:40

"Biological fact is that biological men do not have the required body parts to have a period and a full menstrual cycle"

That sentence sounds reasonable, but biological male?, full menstrual cycle?

Our words are been taken away from us. If we can't push back on a feminist chat forum, where can we?

I agree with calling someone by the name they choose, and not to be nasty to individuals.

But I'm sick of FWR changing from a place where women can chat and compare experiences in their own style and language to somewhere with an official line, where everyone has to structure sentences to not cause offense because people may be lurking and using it against feminism.

It's as if every single women is responsible for feminism/Mumsnet,and one bad comment invalidates the whole thing.

AngryAttackKittens · 26/04/2018 08:47

Also implies that it would be possible for a biological male to have a partial menstrual cycle, which, um, how?

AngryAttackKittens · 26/04/2018 08:48

There's been a definite uptick in controlling behavior in the guise of "what's best for the forum", and for those of us who've dealt with controlling behavior before it's like nails being dragged down a chalkboard.

LangCleg · 26/04/2018 08:52

FWR changing from a place where women can chat and compare experiences in their own style and language to somewhere with an official line, where everyone has to structure sentences to not cause offense because people may be lurking and using it against feminism.

I often hear but what about the lurkers? in response to this point.

I also think but what about the lurkers? in an entirely different way. If we have to tone police ourselves and make our arguments perfectly elegant and expertly spun in this way, how many lurkers are we putting off joining?

I often see newbies saying things like I was nervous to join because I am not as knowledgeable or articulate as you ladies. I think this endless tone policing will just put them off further. That's what I call exclusionary. I do not want to exclude or intimidate other women. I also think there's a whiff of classism about it.

There. Is. Nothing. Wrong. With. Plain. Speaking.

Rufustheconstantreindeer · 26/04/2018 08:53

So what can i say

Two posts and i will report them both

Biological men cannot have periods

Rufustheconstantreindeer · 26/04/2018 08:54

Transwomen cannot have periods

AngryAttackKittens · 26/04/2018 08:56

Hmm

It's impossible to have a period if you don't have a uterus.

Floisme · 26/04/2018 08:57

I'm always careful what I say on here, not because of TRAs but because of lurkers. I don't mind that.

However I cannot talk about men having periods and keep a straight face. Nor do I think I should. There are some occasions where I think ridicule is the only way.

Rufustheconstantreindeer · 26/04/2018 08:58

angry

Trouble with that is i think that some people might believe that transwomen have a uterus as part of the transitioning

As they are now 'women'

LangCleg · 26/04/2018 09:03

Well, is there room or space to talk about the limits of "transition" then?

AngryAttackKittens · 26/04/2018 09:06

Someone on the IW thread said that her teenager thinks that people can get a chromosome transplant.

Maybe instead of teaching kids about gender at school we should teach them science? Just a thought.

Rufustheconstantreindeer · 26/04/2018 09:07

Science is transphobic

Fact

Rufustheconstantreindeer · 26/04/2018 09:07

Dont yell at me it was a joke (ish)

AngryAttackKittens · 26/04/2018 09:08

Kittens, sunshine, and chocolate are also transphobic.

(Watch me get told off again for not going high enough.)

PositivelyPERF · 26/04/2018 09:12

Women are transphobic because they are women! FACT!

Rufustheconstantreindeer · 26/04/2018 09:14

I think chocolate is sexist

AngryAttackKittens · 26/04/2018 09:16

Well there is that new pink chocolate that I haven't tried yet...

PositivelyPERF · 26/04/2018 09:17

I think chocolate is sexist

That must be why I eat so much of it. Trying to be a one woman army, destroying the sexism bite by bite. 😋 Irs difficult, but I’ll continue doing it, just for feminism. holds head up proudly while beating chest

AngryAttackKittens · 26/04/2018 09:19

Ah, the sacrifices we make for the movement...

(Still not trying the pink chocolate until it's available in non-KitKat form though.)