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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

cis is an abusive term

425 replies

Horridemma · 14/02/2018 13:21

I don't want to be called a 'cis' nor referred to as 'cis' in any sort of patronising way. Not sure if I really understand but from the way it is bandied about it does not sound good.

I am a woman not a 'cis'

OP posts:
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9
bangkokhilton · 14/02/2018 23:13

Welcome aboard @PipGirl404 I have read this thread from top to bottom and am also delighted to see you learning so much in so little time (it's taken me months of lurking & contemplating). You were me not so long ago. It's very hard to get your head round it all because the TRA logic can not be applied to right thinking people & it's hard to imagine anyone would be that nasty or predatory but they really do exist.

For the record I hate "cis" too. Bloody ridiculous. Not long ago I thought I was progressive and right on & thinking I should accept this term because of all my "privilege" I apparently have and should "keep in check" ha!!

I can't believe someone had to agree to this term during work training Shock

LindyHopSkipRunner · 15/02/2018 00:02

Language is going to be critical in this.

What would you call it when a country is colonised and the representatives of the colonisers want to eradicate a local language, and change is for their own? Not even sure that white supremacists were this blatant.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 15/02/2018 00:08

What would you call it when a country is colonised and the representatives of the colonisers want to eradicate a local language, and change is for their own?

Ireland

Floisme · 15/02/2018 07:34

I think it's a stupid ignorant un-word. And if it was banned, I would have never have found out why.

I'm a bit horrified by the banning talk. This is the only place I know where discussions aren't closed down.

MacaroonMama · 15/02/2018 07:50

Such a great thread. Reason triumphs over 'trans logic' again. People are so patient and good at explaining things on this board.

On balance, I think it may be better not to ban 'cis' on the boards for the reasons above - if people are using it without understanding what it really means,these conversations can happen, and TERFs are born! Wink

Hugs to you pipgirl you will get furious so many times about all this! Drink wine and come back and chat xx

Elendon · 15/02/2018 09:31

I don't think cis should be banned either. It is as pps have noted, wisely, a precursor to eye opening information.

Hope the romantic evening went well Pip

PipGirl404 · 15/02/2018 11:49

Hey guys!

Been doing some reading today, also Elendon I had a wonderful evening thank you, we spoke a lot about this and DP agrees with a lot of what we spoke about, it was nice to chat it through with someone and lay my thoughts out and make sense of them.

I realised also, that a lot of what we spoke about yesterday and what I looked into I recognised, but only through a person I have (had, actually) on Facebook... so I had another look yesterday/this morning and all their stuff is public.

As I'm still new to all this and trying to find the ropes and get to grip with terminologies/what it all means etc I've realised this person utterly confuses me.

So in short, a couple years ago they made a huge deal about coming out as 'non-binary', changed their name from a female one to a male one and said they preferred male pronouns... everyone obliged and that was that. Recently they have called themselves transgender, but also in the same post referred to themselves as non-binary - can you be both of those things? Is this pretty normal? Also they referred to themselves as a 'girlfriend' which further confused me.
Now, they posted up a snapshot of twitter and basically said "I just got banned for telling a TERF to choke on a dick" and then went on to say TERF's are horrible etc, someone asked what a TERF was and their reply was "someone who doesn't agree that a transwoman is a WOMAN" so they are very much of the belief transwoman should be seen as/treated/given the same rights/treatment as women. But then AGAIN, in another post, they referred to themselves as a massive feminist, feminazi etc etc and said they advocated womens rights wholeheartedly.

Can you see where the confusion is coming from? I might be utterly wrong but from my understanding of everything surely you can't be a "feminazi" and also a TRA at the same time? As the ideology behind the TRA movement goes completely against womens rights??

I am really hoping I'm right but please tell me if I'm wrong on this one!!

PipGirl404 · 15/02/2018 11:50

Actually, I take that female/male name thing back. It was a typically female name changed to one that could apply to both men and women!

OldmanOfTheWeb · 15/02/2018 11:52

It shouldn't technically be a slur. But whenever I have had it directed at me, it is in the context of dismissing my opinions or in some other way aggressive.

hugoagogo · 15/02/2018 11:58

Your face book friend sounds most confused.

OvaHere · 15/02/2018 11:59

You can't be transgender non binary. It's an oxymoron, if you describe yourself as having no gender (non binary) then there is nothing to trans to or from.

LangCleg · 15/02/2018 12:03

they posted up a snapshot of twitter and basically said "I just got banned for telling a TERF to choke on a dick" and then went on to say TERF's are horrible

Welcome back, Pip!

I think it's pretty simple really - that person there was talking about me when they said TERF and about all the women you have been talking to here. Do you think we are evil people who should go choke on a penis? If not, you have your answer about how much attention you should pay the words (I say ravings) or ever-changing identities of people such as that.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 15/02/2018 12:07

Now, they posted up a snapshot of twitter and basically said "I just got banned for telling a TERF to choke on a dick"

This is extremely typical of the language directed at women by TIMs (trans identifying males- trans woman) its a threat of male violence indicating the organ they all refuse to give up despite claiming they are all woman. They’re basically saying, accept I’m totally woman or I will assault you with my male penis.

Datun · 15/02/2018 12:12

Hang on pip. That person is a woman who is now identified as a man? Saying you can choke on my dick?

Firstly, what dick?

Secondly they sound like a lot of people who embrace the trans-ideology. Disenfranchised youth who are angry and don't know where to put it.

Thirdly an awful lot of people that identify as a feminist are all, yeah girl power, without understanding the first thing about feminist analysis.

Transwomen who identify as feminist generally mean fuck off out of the way women and centre men in your feminism.

BigDeskBob · 15/02/2018 12:13

Pip, seems that your friend knows lots of words, but doesn't know the meaning of any of them.

I could talk for hours about how and why TRA use threats like 'choke on a dick', and why get away with it, but won't. Smile

PipGirl404 · 15/02/2018 12:40

Secondly they sound like a lot of people who embrace the trans-ideology. Disenfranchised youth who are angry and don't know where to put it.

I think that kind of hit the nail on the head. She's younger than me and I'm mid-twenties (don't want to be too outing).

Also yes, they are a woman who now identify as male? but also non-binary? I'm actually starting to think they haven't a clue what they're talking about...

Datun · 15/02/2018 13:03

I'm actually starting to think they haven't a clue what they're talking about...

Yes.

I suppose as trans means not mentally aligned with your sex, that could be non binary...

But the next bit 'aligned with the opposite sex, then shoots a hole in it.

I really wouldn't bother to engage though. Sounds pointless.

Elendon · 15/02/2018 13:13

I think 'choke on a dick' is different from 'choke on my dick' Datun

Nevertheless it's an horrendous thing to suggest and I'm glad they were banned from twitter for posting it.

Datun · 15/02/2018 13:16

Oh right. I missed that!

I hear 'choke on...' and automatically fill in the 'my dick'.

Elendon · 15/02/2018 13:24

Yep! Me too; it's an easy mistake to make. And it's an horrendous phrase whoever says it. That person has internalised misogyny so much, she has become a transmaiden.

Elendon · 15/02/2018 13:25

She? Meant they.

Glad the night went well Pip

PipGirl404 · 15/02/2018 13:33

I don't speak to them or talk to them at all and don't particularly like them in all honesty.

I don't like how they claim to be a good person, with a moral upstanding and in the next breath they wish death upon someone. Either be a dick and own it or be a good person and don't wish death on people. [shrug]

PipGirl404 · 15/02/2018 13:36

I was reading the other thread up and active at the moment on feminists being against transgender people, and someone raised a really good point.

Before yesterday I always thought to myself "surely transwomen and trans people face a lot of struggle so should be allowed to call themselves women" etc

But someone on the thread raised a great point that they don't struggle with things specifically aimed at women, the way we are penalised for having to take maternity leave, having to take a cut in pay because of it and things that impact us solely on the fact we have ovaries/female reproductive organs etc. So yes, trans people absolutely have their own set of struggles but it's not the same as ours, never really entered my head before but it got me thinking today!

BeUpStanding · 15/02/2018 13:48

Pip I am loving watching you go through this process! Please keep posting

Owllady · 15/02/2018 13:54

I got called a terf and my comments suspended on a Facebook group for saying I wasn't cis anything, I was just a woman.
It's all a bit worrying really.

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