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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Can you all just lay off trans people

742 replies

cjferg · 10/02/2018 17:11

There is a difference between sex and gender. Some people's align, other people's don't. Some people are biologically female, and their gender doesn't match that and vies versa. Some people don't have a gender. Why do you care so much?

One of my best friends in school was biologically a female. When he 'came out' to me as trans and explained how he had never felt comfortable in his body all I thought (and anyone who knew him) was that I wasn't surprised and that it made a lot of sense and we all got on with our lives. This was about age 17 and he said he had known this since he was a kid (not saying that any kid who says they want to should be able to willy nilly block their hormones, etc, btw)
It wasn't just about 'presenting as a male'. He was actually a male in a female body.
Yes, when he started presenting as male he felt a lot better. I remember he didn't want to go to our prom because of all the dressing up, etc. until we suggested he wear a tux, and it was amazing to see him so comfortable.
But still he hated having tits and having to wear a binder (can be done safely if you get a proper binder and don't just use bandages or w/e so don't even start)
It wasn't enough to just stuff the front of the trousers.
I repeat, he was a man trapped in a woman's body. Not just a cross dressing woman, not just in an experimental phase.

I have another friend who is biologically a female but they don't have a gender. They are known as 'they' not 'he'or 'she' and knowing them you would in no way think that they are either male or female, again not just about looking a certain way.

I also see a lot of people on here ranting about trans people and they literally only care about transwomen. Genuinely, what has happend to you that you feel so threatened at the thought of someone with a penis being the same gender as you?

Stop ranting about how men are going to use it as an excuse to perv on your kid in a changing room. I'd bet quite a lot that more women will perv on your kid in a changing room than men pretending to be trans will.

Gender is evolving all the time there are no definitive rules to being a man or a woman.

For every thing that you think being a woman is, there will be a woman who disagrees with you.
You say that being a woman means having a uterus - does that make people who've had theirs removed for medical reasons not women?

If being a woman means the ability to have babies then does that mean infertile women aren't women?

If you think being a man is the ability to grow facial hair does that mean that men who can't aren't men?

I read about a woman who had poly cystic ovaries and had a luxurious, thick beard and moustache as a result. Does that mean she is a man or less of a woman? Or should she have continued to try and shave and wax it off and be ashamed of it rather than accept herself the way she was and rock the beard?

Seriously, we've come a long way from being a woman meaning you're your husband's property and having to squirt out babies and clean your whole life. Why are you so determined to go backwards?

Stop using the teeny possibility of a man pretending to be trans to invade women's spaces as a vehicle for your hatred and open your mind enough to at least try and understand the issue, because it might be your kid. It might be your dad. It might be your bff 4eva. If that were the case would you ostracise them from your life and declare them a fraud, or have a little empathy and try and support them through something potentially life changing.

drops mic

OP posts:
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CaptainMarvelDanvers · 10/02/2018 18:36

I have PCOS, I have facial hair issues it doesn’t make me a man. The reason I have PCOS is because I am a woman with elevated androgens that affects my body including cysts on my ovaries which are organs in the female reproductive system, men can’t get it.

I also struggle with my confidence because of the social stereotypes of how a woman is supposed to be and look like. The modern Transgender movement seems to promote these stereotypes.

AstraiaLiberty · 10/02/2018 18:37

For every thing that you think being a woman is, there will be a woman who disagrees with you.

I think that a woman is an adult human female. If you disagree with me, can you come back and tell me what you think a woman is, please?

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole · 10/02/2018 18:37

Having said debate is respectful I can see some pretty intimidating responses here. If we want to change people's minds we should be talking to them not shouting at them.

Sorry, when someone is as thick and gaslighty as the OP they deserve the responses they have got. The entire OP is nonsense, and the OP is unlikely to be back either, they never do come back and answer any of the valid points raised in relation to their goady posts.

The only one I have seen actually stick around is rat. I disagree with her but at least she makes some attempt to engage, if a bit evasive about the actual problems with self-ID and especially womens sport.

TheButterflyOfTheStorms · 10/02/2018 18:39

A mic drop sounds very like a loud plop. Weird.

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole · 10/02/2018 18:39

I'm a detransitioned person so, yes, I have and still have trans friends and see trans women in female spaces. The honour systems been there for decades as has the fight for single user unisex facilities. I think what is currently being by TRAs hiding behind dysphoric people like me is disgusting. People like me aren't going to be helped by these changes and dysphoric young people are being pushed into unhealthy practices.

Exactly. Actual transsexual people will not benefit from these changes, at all. So those who do fight for the changes, why? Who will they benefit in your eyes? because to me, the only people who will benefit are fetishists and predatory men. I would love someone on 'the other side' to answer the question of HOW we would keep these people out if self-ID went ahead. And also to answer who exactly they reckon self-ID will benefit.

Popchyk · 10/02/2018 18:40

That is a brilliant post, DN4.

Thanks for taking the time to post that.

RatRolyPoly · 10/02/2018 18:41

Hey thegoals, I'm sorry I seem evasive - I can see why my darting around these threads might seem this way. Truth is I don't want to get sucked into debating any single issue too heavily without having thought through my whole position as it's all relatively new to me. I'm working on it though, I'm just looking for a gap in the schedule Grin

Frequency · 10/02/2018 18:42

[applauds DN4GeekinDerby]

DD wants a binder to hide from men who insist on commenting on her physical appearance and/or telling her she is only gay because she hasn't met the right man yet [eyeroll]

I won't allow her to have one. I'm the most evil mother in the world. The trans ideology is opening our children up to dangerous ideas.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 10/02/2018 18:42

Its like breast ironing Sad

SophoclesTheFox · 10/02/2018 18:43

Dn4, that's really powerful. You're right - dysphoric people deserve better than what the vocal transactivists want.

terryleather · 10/02/2018 18:43

DN4GeekInDerby

That was a very powerful post. Thank you.

PencilsInSpace · 10/02/2018 18:45

Hysterectomy is a female experience
PCOS is a female experience
The two friends you describe are both female
Gender is oppressive bullshit
We don't want to share our sex segregated spaces with male people for our safety privacy and dignity

Say hello to MikePeterson when you go back to whatever secret FB group is sending you all over here tag-team style.

LadyMcLadyCrisps · 10/02/2018 18:45

DN4 thanks for that insightful post!

AnyFucker · 10/02/2018 18:46

The only people who will gain from extreme transactivism is "fetishists and predatory men"

Totally agree.

Many recent events are appalling to true body dysphorics. I know some. I have no problem with them. Quietly, and without recourse to blaring social media, they have been getting on with their lives for decades. They don't need this shit any more than women do.

Elendon · 10/02/2018 18:47

I love this song but I've no idea what they are talking about. A bit like the OP. Can someone do a tl:dr

PencilsInSpace · 10/02/2018 18:48

DN4GeekInDerby Flowers

dysphoric people deserve better than this crap

Yes!

terryleather · 10/02/2018 18:48

Pencils
I was wondering the same thing as I think it was round about this time that Mike plopped last week...

newyearsameme80 · 10/02/2018 18:49

You can’t argue with stupid.

LanaKanesTerfyVagina · 10/02/2018 18:49

Thanks DN4 for an amazing and insightful post.

I'm sorry you've had to go through all that.

And yeah......this blinkered trans cult is doing no one, least of all trans and dysphoric people, any fucking favours at all.

Why are people supporting something that is so physically damaging??
Why are we encouraging young people to self mutilate, and render themselves ill and infertile??

Why are they encouraging bizarre and outdated stereotypes based on weird stereotypes of male and female??

It's madness.

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/02/2018 18:49

@DN4GeekinDerby Flowers it sounds as if you have been through a lot. I am glad you found people to care for you.

Horridemma · 10/02/2018 18:51

It's all 'me me me me' with Trans-conversations.

If it doesn't go their way then the bullying side of the male comes out. They will shout women down and demand access to female safe spaces.

Sorry unless they have had periods, suffered period pains, sore tits, had smear tests and everything else that life throws at women etc - then how on earth can they ever truly identity and empathise with what it is really like to be a woman?

Elendon · 10/02/2018 18:51

I think AF just explained it to me.

terryleather · 10/02/2018 18:53

*Elendon
*
Blah lecture blah lecture blah lecture x every argument we've heard 100 before + my friend + blah blah blah = Why Can't You Just Be Nicer!!!!!!!!

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/02/2018 18:54

I’ve jusf looked up breast ironing. 😩. Poor girls.

FaithHopeCharityDesperation · 10/02/2018 18:54

Couldn’t stand to read all of that.
Whatever qualities these people may have to recommend them (a certain naive credulity?) they do not have the gift of succinct, pithy argument.

😂😂
Actually proper lol'd at this!

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