Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Disgusted by all the transphobia here

1000 replies

MikePeterson · 04/02/2018 16:12

A very good friend of mine and a long time poster here has spent most of her day crying because this fresh wave of transphobia in a community she thought she was welcome in has finally broken her spirits. After obtaining her permission, I am posting this because it needs to be said.

She is a woman with a penis and has identified as such since she was old enough to understand the concept of gender. Being female is part of her identity but so is her body, such as it is and untouched by surgery and artificial hormones. She is a beautiful individual and, to my eye, presents a much more feminine image than, ironically, Linda Bellos and several of her fellow bigots.

Arguing that, because of potential past trauma involving males, causing seeing a penis or even an individual likely to be in possession of a penis to be triggering is justification for segregation is as absurd as it is offensive. Would it be acceptable for a woman who was the victim of a violent crime commuted by a particular ethnic minority to demand that all members of that race be segregated in changing rooms and domestic violence shelters? Of course not.

Equally ludicrous is the claim that transgender women somehow had the privilege of living as a man. Cisgendered women are light years ahead of transgender women in terms of privilege and if you wish to continue denying this, you are no better than the most vile male misogynists.

Finally, think about how disrespectful you are being to all women, you are reducing all the wonderful differences between the genders to what someone has between their legs. The same feminist ancestors who fought for your right to vote, to be regarded as more than domestic servants and baby machines would spit on you for your intolerance.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
Fekko · 05/02/2018 17:08

Isn’t that the line from Peter Pan about believing in tinkerbel? If you don’t believe the fairy dies? How melo-bloody-dramatic.

You don’t get such guff from trans men.

Frequency · 05/02/2018 17:11

You don’t get such guff from trans men

That's a point actually where are all the FTM activists in all this? Why aren't they out heckling males and posting threats on Twitter?

You don't think it's because they were socialised as female from birth and therefore lack the male privilege and aggression, do you?

Fekko · 05/02/2018 17:15

Because they are just getting on with life and not trying to be ‘fabuloso’.

Now it is a funny thing that nouveau women are, well, can be anyway, rather ‘male’ in their aggression and violence. Men are more likely to be in jail for violent crimes than women, etc. so it’s not wrong to say that men are more prone to violence/anger than women. Must be all the hormones...

NoqontroI · 05/02/2018 17:17

If you want to identify as the opposite sex then that's fine but until you have the surgery to remove and replace what you have then you are still the same sex you were before you identified as something else.

This.

Fekko · 05/02/2018 17:20

I rather fancy being an elephant but don’t want the trunk and big ears.

Fragglewump · 05/02/2018 17:24

Just keep your cocks of any description out of our spaces. I don’t care what you want to be or what you wear or how much make up you put on. I want toilets and changing rooms to be safe spaces for me and my daughters.

Fekko · 05/02/2018 17:27

I want big bags of noisy crisps too.

KizzyBear · 05/02/2018 17:27

Can you or your friend define what it is to be a women or what a women feels like without referring to stereotypical gender types?

KizzyBear · 05/02/2018 17:30

Do people read shite like this and believe it?

Disgusted by all the transphobia here
Fekko · 05/02/2018 17:34

Eh what? The writer is more likely to be murdered? What for?

Are they a man who says they are a woman? Well, there are some men out there who might very well beat/even murder such a person up if they don’t share their gender views and get close enough to realise that they are a man. Is that what they meant?

Who is going to rape and murder them? Is it the nasty, straight women?

DickTERFin · 05/02/2018 17:38

I used to work for a blind man who, amongst other things, would renovate houses (I'm not making this up I promise).

One of the things I had to do was find swatch samples of materials he wanted to use for furnishings. Now, he was blind due to an accident in his thirties so had a good mental representation of colour, however, what I quickly discovered was that it is very hard to describe various shades of beige and come to an agreed, definitive description of "Oatmeal", when you have seven swatches of "Oatmeal and four of them seem to you to be completely different colours and you have no way of knowing whether the other persons mental representation of a "true" Oatmeal colour is the same as your own.

So what's my point? My point is, that even though colour can be objectively measured by the frequency of light it vibrates at, perception of different shades of colour is subjective. As are "feelings" of femaleness/womanhood. There is no way of knowing if how I "feel" as a woman is how anybody else does and therefore we don't measure female or woman by a feeling, we measure it by objectifiable, material facts.

KizzyBear · 05/02/2018 17:46

@Fekko the person that said this is Andi Dier who harassed and verbally attacked Rose McGowen. The interview was afterwards and it's on a website called them.us (or us.them) can't remember exactly which.
I think he means murdered by men for being trans. Yet 138 were murdered last year alone by a partner or ex partner.

It's complete bullshit and I thought I hit peak trans a while ago.
I'm sick of being told I'm not oppressed by a group of men, when I've been raped once by a person unknown to me and raped countless of times by an abusive ex partner who I lived in fear of everyday for years and still suffer with PTSD.
Quit fucking telling me you have it worse, quit with your bullshit labels and quit shouting down at me that you're a women who has a lady penis.

TopBitchoftheWitches · 05/02/2018 17:49

Welcome to living life as a woman.

Disgusted by all the transphobia here
Fekko · 05/02/2018 17:51

They do realise that rape isn’t always about sex? It’s a power and humiliation thing.

And trouser wearing men get raped too. Or are they cis men? What are they calling men who were born men and say they are men these days?

Fekko · 05/02/2018 17:52

I suspect the word ‘me’ is a tad worn out by that tweeter.

Ereshkigal · 05/02/2018 17:59

Fekko Grin perfect and understated!

Ereshkigal · 05/02/2018 18:03

Sadly the only reason I can think of is that maybe it's not so urgent or important to debunk bad science when it's only women who are going to be negatively affected by it.

Yes I had that thought too.

LindySprint · 05/02/2018 18:04

I suspect the word ‘me’ is a tad worn out by that tweeter

I suspect the 'M' and 'E' keys are worn down from overuse into translucent plastic slivers, set atop tiny white key pegs like contact lenses perched on baby teeth, like a monument to a toddler's precocious vanity.

Fekko · 05/02/2018 18:05

The ‘I’ is probably work out too.

TallulahWaitingInTheRain · 05/02/2018 18:05

I suspect the word ‘me’ is a tad worn out by that tweeter

For such a little word, they make it do a great deal of work

UserSnoozer · 05/02/2018 18:06

You're friend isn't a woman. Gender doesn't exist. Your friend is a man. If I decided I felt like a cat so was one, I'd be put in therapy. That's what your friend needs. So tell me. How does being a woman "feel"

Ereshkigal · 05/02/2018 18:07

If a man wakes up to find themselves lying on a bloody sheet, something is seriously wrong. If a woman wakes up to that she's more likely to mutter "Oh fuck", put it to soak in cold water & get herself in the shower.

2 am this morning. Had to scrub the mattress, change nightie, change bedding and then sleep in a bed with a massive cold wet patch from the still wet mattress. Luckily I was on my own! Cis privilege!

Ereshkigal · 05/02/2018 18:08

I suspect the 'M' and 'E' keys are worn down from overuse into translucent plastic slivers, set atop tiny white key pegs like contact lenses perched on baby teeth, like a monument to a toddler's precocious vanity.

Grin
LanaKanesTerfyVagina · 05/02/2018 18:09

Oh ffs.

No you whiney shitbags.......women die in huge fucking numbers, killed by the men they know.

How fucking dare he?????

How fucking dare he try to imply that women, who are statistically like a fucking million times more likely to be murdered, dom't face the risk of being murdered.

Fuck the fuck off, then when you get there, take your fucking lady penis, and your fucking misogyny, and keep fucking off.

I am a fucking woman and I will no longer be silent while you minimise my fucking oppression from a position of male socialization and priviledge.

I will no longer play nice.

I am so, so so fucking sick of this shit.

I am literally fucking exploding here.

yawning801 · 05/02/2018 18:11

Well, this thread is... interesting!

I see what you mean, Mike. Some people can be particularly harsh and blunt in their views, and their views will not always work in conjunction with yours. No matter what you do, there will always be people who contradict you. There is nothing that you can do to change the view of every single Mumsnetter. (Also, I think that Mumsnet is not a women's site. Its byline is "by parents, for parents". There are many non-parents here, and it would be impossible to eradicate all of them too.) In summary, to post something like your OP would make you, at best, goady. I'm not incriminating you here, Mike, I'm just saying what I think like everyone else here - and I know that my comment will be lost in this sea of comments.

On the other hand, we all have to make an effort to see things from each other's point of view. I see yours, and you have made it very clear in your OP. However, I do see the other point of view too. Nobody can tell exactly what is going on in a trans person's head. Nobody can tell exactly what they think. Consequently, we cannot be sure whether they truly believe that they are transgender, or are simply a twisted pervert trying to use the transgender label to their advantage. For instance, one said pervert could try to use the label to get their way into a prison of the opposite gender, where all sorts may happen.

Anyway, there's my opinion. I will now prepare to get flamed!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread