Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Trans friendly thread!

999 replies

100lbtolose · 23/01/2018 14:43

Hi MNers!

Just first of all want to say this isn't going to be a goady thread or a place to slag anyone off of be abusive. Everyone can have an opinion and everyone's allowed to think that they like.

2nd, if your anti-trans or don't believe trans people should be alllwed to self ID or that they aren't the gender they say they are etc pls be respectful and don't post here. There are loads of threads about all kinds of discussions about being trans that you can post on and I think it would be fair if you didn't do that here. I Obviously can't prevent anyone but It would be nice for this space to be respected as trans friendly and not taken over for other reasons. If you don't agree just leave and post somewhere else instead of using this thread please!

That now said - I'm all for trans rights and I think trans men are men and transwomen are women. I don't know if many MNers feel the same but if you do say hi! Or if anyone is trans know that you have an ally in me Grin this thread can be for a chat or support or (friendly!) discussion. Or maybe I'm the only one here lol and I can just talk to myself...

OP posts:
Thread gallery
19
PidgeonPodge · 23/01/2018 21:18

Yes op, I didn't realise there was only a certain 'level' of trans allowed?

What sort of transwoman do I have to be for you to 'ally' with me?

If I say I hate all women that don't agree with every single thing I want them to would you be my friend?

Or am I very much unwelcome in your 'pro trans' thread (because I don't conform to your TRA echo chamber view of how a transwoman should be?)

BeyondWW · 23/01/2018 21:22

#nodebate entirely. Angry

SophoclesTheFox · 23/01/2018 21:24

Quite so, pidgeon.

Perhaps the thread title could be "Anyone up for a really good round of virtue signalling with a side order of goading?"

MiMi78 · 23/01/2018 21:25

Eresh
I can't find it now 😩
Sure it was Debbie Hayton though.

Adrifty86 · 23/01/2018 21:27

What I can never get my head around is that these sorts of people (virtue vultures) race in and scream 'transphobe' and 'you bigot, you don't understand' and protest their utmost allied-ness with all trans people.

And inevitably, when actual trans people arrive and say 'hang on, we actually don't want this at all, can we discuss it'

They all just melt away...

UpstartCrow · 23/01/2018 21:33

I'll put the kettle on. Looks like OP was sent over to Stores for a long weight.

ArbitraryName · 23/01/2018 21:37

It’s a bit like those university seminars where all the white students virtue signal about racism, but aren’t in any way interested in hearing what the BAME student(s) have to say. And then next week you get to facilitate the same but with disability as the topic. And then you got to do class after that (with a group who were almost all privately educated). And so on.

I used to dread facilitating those seminars when I was a postgrad. Can’t have the complexity of people’s actual experiences getting in the way of one’s virtue signalling.

affectionincoldclimate · 23/01/2018 21:42

@100lbtolose thank you so much for starting this thread. Without you starting it, I wouldn't be able to read the amazing, moving, hugely pertinent and thought provoking post by @SwerfyTerfy about her vital work with women and wouldn't be able to make a donation to her wonderful charity.
Every cloud as they say... Grin

RedToothBrush · 23/01/2018 21:45

TheSockGoblin, Curry and Pigeon
[Wine]

What gets me from all these virtue signalling, is they often have no effing idea of the reality of any of this because they haven't lived through it, or had a close family member live through it.

What you assume its like is very different to the reality of experience.

I really do fear for the implications of self ID. It could end up in a serious backlash against my sibling. And regardless of the poor relationship between me and my sibling, a backlash would just about kill my parents.

The whole thing tears me apart.

People who want to reduce this to a 'your either with us or against us' simplistic, narrow and monolithic thing boil my piss. Mainly because most of them aren't saying it for the benefit of anyone trans, but because they want to feel good about themselves and 'prove' how liberal they are.

If only it were that fucking simple.

I wish I had the luxury of being able to do that.

Glitterypinksoap · 23/01/2018 21:46

Oooh affection where was that please? I missed it!

AdalindSchade · 23/01/2018 21:49

Homophobic violence is awful, disgusting, evil. I'm sorry for any person who experiences it and would do my utmost to help and support them whether male or female.
Trans identifying people, especially men, are likely to be a target of homophobic violence. That's awful and should never happen.
But let's call it what it is. It is homophobia perpetrated by (almost always) men imbued with toxic masculinity and misogyny inculcated by growing up in a patriarchy. Women, ESPECIALLY feminists, are not in any way responsible for homophobic violence against trans identifying men.

AdalindSchade · 23/01/2018 21:50

Sorry the point of that ^ was to say that I stand with men who are the victims of homophobic abuse and I support them as victims of the patriarchy. They are not women but they can be friends and allies as long as they don't insist they are women. That's gaslighting and abusive and needs to fucking stop.

affectionincoldclimate · 23/01/2018 21:51

@Glitterypinksoap

You mean the post? @SwerfyTerfy's amazing post is 2/3 down the thread IIRC and the charity is this:

https://www.madre.org

Smile
BeyondWW · 23/01/2018 21:54

I think swerfyterfy’s post deserves its own thread and not to just be hidden in this one Flowers

PidgeonPodge · 23/01/2018 21:56

But let's call it what it is. It is homophobia perpetrated by (almost always) men imbued with toxic masculinity and misogyny inculcated by growing up in a patriarchy. Women, ESPECIALLY feminists, are not in any way responsible for homophobic violence against trans identifying men

Damn right.

And Self ID can fuck right off. I can't think of anything else that could single-handedly do so much damage to 'truscum', women and vulnerable children.

My young nephew likes handbags and sometimes wearing his bigger sisters fancy dress collection. You can be damn sure my sister isn't doing anything apart from letting him play with what he wants. She certainly isn't calling up any 'fishy bastards' for advice.My brother liked doing that too and he is very much a man.

People confusing that childhood innocence of not understanding the social restrictions put on them and actual gender dysmorphia are dangerous to both types of children.

deadringer · 23/01/2018 21:57

I would like to thank the op for this thread too, if they hadn't started it I would have missed out on the wonderful posts by Swerfy, Pigeon and Curry amongst many others.

Glitterypinksoap · 23/01/2018 21:59

Affection thank you Smile

averylongtimeago · 23/01/2018 22:01

Pigeon and Curry ThanksThanks

LangCleg · 23/01/2018 22:46

Pidgeon and Curry Wine Flowers

I have discovered over the last year as I scaled the full height of #peaktrans that my transsexual friend of twenty-odd years is also branded truscum and shunned by this so-called community.

Quite how so many people can't see that the fight for acceptance for a tiny number of catastrophically dysphoric people has morphed into a juggernaut led by vicious MRAs and supported by clueless social constructionists, is totally beyond me.

Thank you for speaking out. I know it is not easy.

Original poster
100lbtolose · 23/01/2018 22:48

Only just back home, you lot don't half jump to conclusions Hmm will go back and read over what I missed but probably still not going to debate anything since all my points still stand. I haven't talked over any trans voices and never would. If there are trans people on here who disagree with me that's fine! Like I already said not everyone has to agree. But one trans person doesn speak for all and I've listening to lots and lots of trans men and women to come to my own views, I know not all trans people will agree with me and i would never say they had to. Some trans people are against self-ID and that's fine. But it doesn't mean im wrong for being supportive of it. It's my view which I've come to from years of reading and listening!

OP posts:
PidgeonPodge · 23/01/2018 22:49

All those years of 'reading' op and you still can't reply to one question about your assertions that certain things are transphobic?

Are you sure you weren't accidentally reading Mr.men books?

RedToothBrush · 23/01/2018 22:50

So are you going to apologise and say that it's not anti trans to be anti self id then?

Battleax · 23/01/2018 22:51

Oh ignore the silly trout Grin

She only posts to say she's not going to post Smile

It's getting a tad old hat now.

Original poster
100lbtolose · 23/01/2018 22:53

If any of you can point to a single place where I said you were bigots / terfs / truscum I'll apologise but j think if you look at every one of my posts youl see I never did that or said anything awful just said I wanted this thread to be a place for people who support trans rights including self ID. I never attacked ANYONE but some of you are acting like even having a different view is an attack on you. I believe that to be pro-trans is to be pro all trans rights including self ID bit never said anywhere that if you didn't think the same as me you were scum or a bigot, I think you need to have a hard look at what you've accused me of saying v what I actually said and ask if you've been fair!

OP posts:
KillDora · 23/01/2018 22:55

but some of you are acting like even having a different view is an attack on you

You genuinely have no self awareness do you?

Swipe left for the next trending thread