Things men have called me and why.

[CosmicCanary]

Slag lots of times but this was the first.
I was 13 he was late teens.
My crime: I walked past him and did not look at him when he said "alright darling"

Whore
Countless times but the one that sticks in my memory.
Aged 16 he was in his 30s with his mates outside a pub.
My crime: i said no thank you when he asked me for a fuck.

Just a tart
Aged around 19. Him same age.
My crime: I declined his offer of a drink in front of his mates so i was labelled just a tart who was out for free drinks.

Hysterical bitch
Aged 22. Him about same age.
My crime: I told him to fuck off after he repeatedly grabbed my arse while I was waiting at the bar.

prozzy
Aged 22. Him much older.
My crime: wearing a short skirt.

Quite a few years of all the above comments then:

Ugly bitch
Aged 39. Him mid 30s.
My crime: To say no he could not sit on my knee in the pub I was drinking in.

Fat slag
Me aged 40. Him late 20s.
My crime: Telling him to fuck off after he pushed me out of the way in a very long taxi que I had been stood in for 20 mins and I was next in line.

The last one ^^ was last Friday evening.

In all my years I have never called men vile names like I have recieved.
One because I am not rude and vile but more importantly because I fear they would attack me if I spoke to them the same way.

The younger me used to put up with it keep my head down and move out of their way.
The older me fights back a bit but I am still scared they will hit me if I do.

Feel free to list your own.

@zzzzz

This thread is about females who have suffered abuse at the hands of men, not those who haven't.
So why are you on here screaming "not all men"?

Cos in your case "not all women" eh? suffer the same abuse.
But you are the exception to the rule.

"What would men do if they were totally free to do whatever they wanted to do?"

Stop attacking women eh?
Stop demanding a supply of porn where women are sexually degraded for men's own personal amusement?

When men find out that most women in porn and prostitution are first sexually abused when they are children and groomed by men for other men to abuse later in their lives, that knowledge is not a thing that turns men off
but it excites men even more..

You don't mention men avidly watch women being sexually abused and demand to see that because it's sexually arousing for them to watch women suffer, do you?

Aw! men have needs they tell us, special needs, and one of those needs just happens to be a desire to observe women being sexually abused, degraded and exploited.
Now you are going to scream.. "oh wait der, not all men"

I don't know any men who are not sexually aroused watching women being sexually abused and all the men I know demand that abuse continues and even the ones I don't know, demand it to.

In defence of men there isn't any!

Not wanting men to take part (and again, OP hasn't stated that) is further enabling the idea that women not only rant (because I know that's how we'll be perceived) but they also can't help but argue amongst themselves. I, for one, would like to share my experiences and hear what men have to say. If that's ok with you lot?!

AsMen, I find your posts offensive but so sad. You genuinely don't know any men who are not sexually aroused by watching women being sexually abused? WTAF

@zzzzz

So maybe you think men who watch porn and avidly watch women being sexually abused and demeaned are not the very same men who sexually abuse and demean women out on the streets.

Pornography. no thanks.

Men demand to see women demeaned and degraded because it makes men feel all good about themselves, smug & self satisfied.
That's why they call women whores & sluts, it's related to the very same thing, male vanity, an apartheid & their fantasy women are less than men, it's sexually a turn on for men to demolish the image of women & girls.

This is what it is all about, it's a bout a hatred, it's about getting a victory., it's about thinking you, because you are born male are superior and you have some god given right to abuse those you see as your inferior.
Men like nothing better than women.

Your comment "not all men"
is about as welcome as a black person, who prompts a group of black people on a thread discussing racism and being told
"hey remember not all white people, folks, dont you dare generalise and besmirch the good name of white people"

Get off this thread, you ain't welcome and men don't need defending or their collective oppression and it's irrelevant if it is not all men or not all white people, or not all Nazi's, it's enough there are so many who are oppressive to justify criticising them all.

You add zero to the conversation.. zero.

Ooops missed this bit out
"Men like nothing better than women" who are not interested in them, that is why men rape them, for a victory.
It's a win to rapists, a triumph, smashing down the self confidence and self esteem of women and girls.

And all the verbal abuse women and girls suffer is all part of the very same thing and never forget that.

It is really annoying when people do the NAMALT thing.

NAMALT - but the majority of men do seem to either accept it (laugh along with it) or just have no idea how prevalent it is.

I think the average bloke, who wouldn't dream of harassing women they don't know, or calling any woman a slut or a whore, has no idea the amount of harassment and abuse their wives, mothers, sisters, daughters get, and just have to accept as part of life. Probably because it doesn't happen when they're with us.

It is really annoying when people do the NAMALT thing.

It is as if none of us have ever met a decent man but thankfully they are here to let us know that not all men are like that.

Sadly a fuckwad of them are.

Asmen, why are you speaking for other posters? I didn't want zzzzz to leave the thread, I never said she wasn't welcome and neither has any one else. Do you realise your comments are as nasty, bullish and sexist as some of the men described. Clearly you've suffered at the hands of men, we all have, but we don't all turn into raving lunatics chucking people of threads. Get a fucking grip!

@ShoesHaveSouls spot on, the men who don’t do this don’t have a clue how bad it is for women. Of that list I gave upthread only a few times was it in the presence of my DH - funny that. Although there was a memorable and deeply unpleasant client of my colleague that used to come to my old workplace who’s behaviour shocked my all male colleagues. He’d insist I’d make him a coffee despite the colleague he was seeing telling him no she’s busy, we make our own/clients coffees here. My colleague used to even make his drink ready for him in an effort to thwart him and it would be sat on the desk and creep client still would insist he wanted ME to make his drink. He’d openly sit and leer at me, make sexist jokes, etc to the point where if he was due in the office my colleague would tip me off and I’d go move to a closed office until he’d gone (apparently when this happened the client used to creep them out with tales of his sexcapades, how hot his gf is, where they’d last has sex and where). All of my male colleagues couldn’t believe that some men acted like this, like ok they’d seen men in the street harassing women but in the workplace by somebody who’s a ‘professional’. I think me being there and seeing some of the crap I received really opened their eyes. And yes words were said by me and the rest of the team to the M.D. who basically said put up and shut up - we can’t afford to complain and lose clients.

Forgot to say this was a respectable marketing firm I was working for.

Jeez another one I forgot, another client old enough to be my grandad came to the office, the M.D. (they were best pals) showed him around, I was busy at my desk, I can’t remember how the conversation started but the client started saying he’d love to have a dance with me in the office, like now! Just a little waltz, come on, play along. My colleagues and I’s faces were like to the point where the M.D. must have realised how inappropriate the client was being made some joke/excuse and diverted him away from our office. And no I’m not some great beauty, and I can’t believe I’m having to do this but I was dressed reservedly for work - not that that should fucking matter. I did work in a male dominated industry though - maybe the sight of anything remotely female and some poor men become slaves to their hormones..

Sorry again forgot to say first creep client kept calling me lazy and that I thought I was better than I was for refusing. And the second creep client called me icy for refusing to dance with him. I’m sure if it wasn’t in an office environment with the dynamics it had they wouldn’t have been so restraint.

The men are the ones who claim that all men watch porn. In fact they go so far as to claim that WDIT (women do it too). They need to have faith that everybody does it, just as much as they need to believe that women choose pornstitution because it is so empowering. All evidence to the contrary.
Men whose ignorance is of the willful variety allows them to come to a room full of women and declare that NAMALT.

I should, and I think men also should, take the advice that if the generalization or stereotype is based on fact, we should not redirect the conversation to the validity of the generalization; whereas if it is based on fiction or myth it seems appropriate to question it. Things like "women do it too" and "not all men" are rather like the though ending cliches that the psychologists tell us about.

^My original post was in response to this statement;

“Men build up their own self esteem by smashing down women's, it's what being a man is all about.”

My comment was;

No “they” don’t and no it fucking isn’t. angry^

Men put on these public displays of male dominance every day, everywhere we go.
I am stunned that there are women who claim to have never experienced such things and men who claim it doesn't happen. Absolutely stunned.

A close male friend and I were talking about sexual harassment and he said “well, I wonder a bit though, if French women have this happen? Because French women don’t feel the need to be polite, they would swear at a man who did that, or slap the man.” Male friend is 6”3,
muscular, half-French (though no contact w French side of family, so it’s all bullshit in his head).

I was agog, but know he’s a good person (just an idiot). So tried to get across the unnerving power differential when someone is bigger than you, or it comes out of left field and you are so stunned you don’t react, or you worry you could lose your job. I’m not sure I got through to him.

@Bubbaleo
My comments are not nasty, but are blunt and straight to the point and they are certainly not sexist and I will reiterate them again for you.

The comment "not all men"

is about as welcome as a black person, who prompts a group of black people on a thread discussing racism and being told
"Hey remember not all white people, folks, don't you dare generalise and besmirch the good name of white people"

It's irrelevant if it is not all men or not all white people, or not all Nazi's, it's enough there are so many who are oppressive to justify criticising them all.

Lizzie, ask your half french friend to do a search on #balancetonporc.

It's the french equivalent hashtag of #metoo.

Sexual harassment is a huge issue in France.

Stupid guy.

I've never been called a slag or whore luckily but have been called ugly and fat by random men that it affected my perception of myself.

One of the worst was when working in a hotel a m came in who i had taken a booking from over the phone I was just out of school and pretty shy. He walks up to the desk and says I spoke to Ratinthehat on the phone to book a room. When I said yes that was me he replied while looking me up and down no she sounded good looking that's disappointing.

I walk down the road and get "ew your so ugly"

When I was about 13 a group of young men said to me I was fat and ugly while walking down the road. I told my dad in tears who said "yes you are but at least you are a nice person"

Oh Ratinhat, so sad to hear about the comment your dad made instead of comforting you.

Prick teaser - because I was a friendly sociable 19 year old but didn't want to sleep with this married, middle aged man.

Frigid - because I was a virgin (this was secondary school age)
Fat - by my husband because I now weigh quite abit more than when I got married at 22.

Ratinthehat, that’s dreadful, fucks sake. A friend of mine had similar - her mum said “don’t worry, your sister was ugly at your age too.”

Thanks tiktok, I shall forward that to him. He is a good person, just lacks the imagination to think what it’s like to go through life not being physically imposing. He said one time he’d never once had anyone go off on him & he’s constantly amazed at the shit I have to put up with (including non-sexual power bs from female supervisors, supervisors who do not pull that on the men).

When I was about 23.

Met a guy who worked in the same industry but a different company. I went on a couple of nights out with him as part of a bigger group of mutual friends.

I snogged him once but declined to take it further. He pursued me for a while after that but I just wasn't interested. I wasn't nasty about it, just politely declined and made my excuses etc.

Months later it was Christmas and I received a corporate Christmas card but with the firm's name blacked out. I knew it was from his firm because I checked the cards received by other people in my company who I knew would have received them too. It was addressed to me and sent to my office. There was an anonymous hand written message in it that said I was an ugly fat slag who should be grateful for what I could get. I opened it in front of my colleagues. It was awful.

I did nothing about it, I was young and I felt humiliated and violated. If that had happened to me now, older and wiser, I'd be straight onto his HR department and possibly the police as well. I really regret that I didn't do that at the time.