Things men have called me and why.

[CosmicCanary]

Slag lots of times but this was the first.
I was 13 he was late teens.
My crime: I walked past him and did not look at him when he said "alright darling"

Whore
Countless times but the one that sticks in my memory.
Aged 16 he was in his 30s with his mates outside a pub.
My crime: i said no thank you when he asked me for a fuck.

Just a tart
Aged around 19. Him same age.
My crime: I declined his offer of a drink in front of his mates so i was labelled just a tart who was out for free drinks.

Hysterical bitch
Aged 22. Him about same age.
My crime: I told him to fuck off after he repeatedly grabbed my arse while I was waiting at the bar.

prozzy
Aged 22. Him much older.
My crime: wearing a short skirt.

Quite a few years of all the above comments then:

Ugly bitch
Aged 39. Him mid 30s.
My crime: To say no he could not sit on my knee in the pub I was drinking in.

Fat slag
Me aged 40. Him late 20s.
My crime: Telling him to fuck off after he pushed me out of the way in a very long taxi que I had been stood in for 20 mins and I was next in line.

The last one ^^ was last Friday evening.

In all my years I have never called men vile names like I have recieved.
One because I am not rude and vile but more importantly because I fear they would attack me if I spoke to them the same way.

The younger me used to put up with it keep my head down and move out of their way.
The older me fights back a bit but I am still scared they will hit me if I do.

Feel free to list your own.

@zzzzz

As all females are victims of the patriarchy, I won't ever worry about a few men's hurt feelings.
It would be exactly the same if I was a Jewish and sharing the details of how I suffered at the hands of the Nazi's.

I just wouldn't fret about Nazi's indignation.
even if someone like you came along and told me..
"Hey not all Nazi's are bad, so don't tar them all with the same brush"

If men are not doing anything to dismantle the patriarchy then they are supporting it and are as guilty as all the rest.

It would be exactly the same if I was a Jewish and sharing the details of how I suffered at the hands of the Nazis.

Oh FFS don’t be so completely over the top. You sully the good name of feminism with such dramatic bollocks.

Nazis actively joined an organisation dedicated to the eradication of the Jews. A completely different thing.

If men are not doing anything to dismantle the patriarchy then they are supporting it and are as guilty as all the rest.

Also complete hyperbole. Lots of women keep the P propped up with their complicity. Mostly because they, like men, have been so brought up with societal norms many of which seem harmless on the surface, that they don’t even think patriarchy exists.

And in many ways we don’t have a classic patriarchy anyway, but something that is a legacy of one, a half-changed painful hangover of one.

Honestly OP I appreciate that your posts are always hard-hitting, to the point and see a bigger starker macro picture, but sometimes you go a tad over the top and make wonderful fodder for MRAs seeking to prove we’re all nutso.

Do reign it in a bit!

Anyway my one was (well one instance of several similar really) was being called a slag and a slut by a man who I’d rejected.

It always bemused me, confused me and pissed me off that we are called sluts by men for not sleeping with them and that admiration quickly turns to hatred and contempt if it’s not returned.

It’s like they’re trying to knock you off the pedestal that they themselves put you on.

Astrid, it's the vitriol isn'it, it's shocking. He actually went to the trouble of trying to disguise where the card came from and then writing a nasty message. Bitter, nasty and twisted. Why? I mean, we all have rebuttals at some time in our lives, but we don't become nasty, vitriolic. Wonder if he regrets it now?

You have to hope so Bubbaleo or there is no hope is there? He was young, hopefully he's mellowed and become less of a knob.

Astrid, it’s astonishing how some men completely turn on you, going from “you’re lovely etc” to “bitch, slut etc” when you say no.

Just why?

I don't know. I guess as men they grow up being told they are expected to do the asking. And we as young women are expected to wait to be asked. It's daunting, I imagine, putting yourself on the line all the time and risking being turned down. Basically being told 'no thanks' means you aren't good enough and at a very visceral level is emasculating?

Perhaps guys with low self esteem work themselves up into a state over it and are angry at a system where they have to risk humiliation and rejection every time they ask for a dance or a kiss or a date. Maybe at some deep level many men struggle with that, even if they seem very confident and laddish on the outside.

@IfyouseeRitaMoreno
If you had been born a couple of centuries earlier you wouldn't be so dismissive of feminism and what it strives for.

So men now sit in their bedrooms fapping whilst watching women being sexually demeaned and degraded for men's own personal amusement, but hey! men have special need don't they?
and one of those needs just happens to be the NEED to see women being abused cos it's a turn 2 men not a turn off and men wouldn't ever want that male privilege to ever be curtailed or stopped completely.

Based on historical fact men are predators who cornered and caged women and girls in and you know just because laws alter does not mean men do and they certainly haven't.

"Nazis actively joined an organisation dedicated to the eradication of the Jews. A completely different thing."

The Nazi's did not say to the Jews
"You will not live here"
The Nazi's actually said to the Jews
"You will not live."

So what are you disputing about my impression of men and men's history of abuse of the female sex that is still continuing today unabated?

asmen, the repeated references to nazis is doing your position no favours. I agree with ritamoreno. it's clear that you feel strongly about this, but it's coming over really OTT and handing ammunition to people who like to think feminists are ranting man haters.

"Nazis actively joined an organisation dedicated to the eradication of the Jews. A completely different thing."

No, that is not true.
The people who elected the Nazi's into power were ordinary people who had a choice to either to vote for the Nazi's or the Communists.

Many German women voted for the Nazi's not because they were anti Jewish but because they were a Christian political movement where as the communists were atheists and the annihilation of the image of the Jews occurred once the Nazi's were elected.

That was not the first time that annihilating the image of a certain group occurred.
The first time happened when men did it to the female of the species and starting slaughtering them in their millions and the ones they didn't murder men cornered and caged in.

The truth is this is men's history and it's the only history they have and porn is the same annihilating of women's image as before and that is the male tradition MEN are happy to perpetuate.

Your refusal to acknowledge these pertinent facts is what is sickening and OTT.

No, Nazism is not pertinent to a thread titled “things men have called me and why”, asmen.

Oh yes it is pertinent
“things men have called me and why”

because men on a power trip
get sexually excited, observing women & girls suffer

This is central to every rape & every other crime
they have ever committed against women and girls.
It's all related.
From religion, to politics to men keeping women out of the boardrooms and expecting to see women with their breasts hanging out in newspapers to leer at, cos it's all a sport to men.

Men have special needs they tell us and are a special needs case.

If you had been born a couple of centuries earlier you wouldn't be so dismissive of feminism and what it strives for.

Honey I’m not dismissive of feminism in the slightest. I bloody love it.

But I think you see things in black and white and that actually obfuscates the fact that misogyny is actually a lot more complex than anti-semitism.

The core principle of misogynists is no different to the core principle of Nazi's and the desire to eradicate those they see as their inferior and if they can't eradicate them to annihilate their image and all these thing are based purely in male supremacism and male vanity.

The Nazi's began their annihilation of the Jews by removing them from every form of power, then they used Nazi propaganda to publicly disparage them. stirring up hatred against them until few Germans cared or intervened when they began mass murdering them.

Which is exactly what men did to the female of the species across the entire globe and that was not an exception but the rule.

If anything has altered in the west it is due to feminism and without it, nothing would have hanged but the misogynists have not magically disappeared and to try and claim none of this is related to what goes on today and men's abuse is separate to what men did in the recent past is farcical., it is all part of the very same thing.

*-hanged-
changed

Asmen, you're nasty and have an unbalanced way of thinking. You've derailed this thread a few times now from what is basically a thread for women to share some really horrible experiences. Are you actually a man trying to prevent us, by winding us up?

The difference, Asmen is one of scale.

And complexity. That’s the issue. It’s not that all men are against all women. It’s that men love us too. They’re our brothers, colleagues, sons, husbands etc that we have all kinds of relationships with, not party members that have set out to destroy us.

But that’s what makes it so hard to identify. So much of sexism is low key, supposedly harmless, delivered to us as benevolently by people, both men and women, that we love.

It is weird, the extreme nature of your posts, that it makes me wonder if you’re trying to wind us all into a man-hating frenzy so that we look like loons.

Completely agree, rita.

Your Nazi analogies aren't helpful, asmen - you're continually godwinning the thread to an extent that it actually makes little difference if you believe what you say, or if you're on a wind up, the effect is exactly the same -the thread is going nowhere.

@IfyouseeRitaMoreno

The difference, Asmen is one of scale.

The difference is, what is accepted in the culture and what isn't on a scale of 1 to 10.

The west has gone through a cultural change over the past 100 years from a male totalitarian rule culture to one of probably now around 70% male totalitarian rule.

The Nazi's weren't pro women, they were pro caging and cornering women in & exploiting their bodies.

Nazi's expected women to obey them and be their servants and be silent and take their abuse.

That is men's entire history.
It is not Nazi's history, it is men's history and men continue to perpetuate it.

What has changed in the culture are the laws and what men are now legally able to get away with when they are abusing women and girls for sport.
Yes they can't get away with as much as they are used to and that is men's gripe.

Everything is linked and to tell me not to point out men's history of abuse is not helpful in dealing with men's abuse which women are complaining about on this thread and which starts with these very words..
"Things men have called me and why."

Well I am addressing the why and I am very sorry you are unable to deal with that but it is relevant and necessary to focus on it and you and everyone else must face it head on and openly talk about it and not stick your heads in the sand hoping it will all go away because it isn't going to.

Woah

What on earth are the weird little images that you keep posting?

Look, I know I probably shouldn't engage, but I just want to keep on highlighting that asmens position that men are effectively nazis has nothing to do with mainstream feminism. I think it's important that it's not just left unchallenged, because god knows there are enough people out there that love to think this place is a hotbed of man-hating and who will seize on these posts as evidence of that.

That is not feminism. I don't even know what it is, but honestly, I'm starting to read it as something that an MRA would write to make feminists look nuts.

It certainly looks nuts. And aggressive. And the kind of thing MRAs would love to point towards.

Agreed asmens posts seem to be OTT.
Just wanted to say that the first incident i remember of name calling was at about 13 or 14 I declined a boys invitation to the school valentines dance. Thereafter his freinds keep shouting ' frigid' at me or coming up to me and whispering it in my ear. I didnt even know what it meant. This was in the 1960s and im sure seems nothing compared to what todays school girls suffer but it made me even more scared of boys and I didnt go near them for years after

I'm starting to read it as something that an MRA would write to make feminists look nuts. I reported a while ago to that affect.

What is it you are disagreeing with?

"*Look, I know I probably shouldn't engage, but I just want to keep on highlighting that asmens position that men are effectively Nazis has nothing to do with mainstream feminism."

The core of misogyny is a hatred for anything that isn't male.

That is what misogyny is all about.
STATUS MANHOOD

Can you not address the collective history of men and their ideas and what they think of women and girls?

When your fathers, brothers and sons sit in their rooms watching women and girls being sexually abused, demeaned and degraded they aren't bothered what you think of them.