Things men have called me and why.

[CosmicCanary]

Slag lots of times but this was the first.
I was 13 he was late teens.
My crime: I walked past him and did not look at him when he said "alright darling"

Whore
Countless times but the one that sticks in my memory.
Aged 16 he was in his 30s with his mates outside a pub.
My crime: i said no thank you when he asked me for a fuck.

Just a tart
Aged around 19. Him same age.
My crime: I declined his offer of a drink in front of his mates so i was labelled just a tart who was out for free drinks.

Hysterical bitch
Aged 22. Him about same age.
My crime: I told him to fuck off after he repeatedly grabbed my arse while I was waiting at the bar.

prozzy
Aged 22. Him much older.
My crime: wearing a short skirt.

Quite a few years of all the above comments then:

Ugly bitch
Aged 39. Him mid 30s.
My crime: To say no he could not sit on my knee in the pub I was drinking in.

Fat slag
Me aged 40. Him late 20s.
My crime: Telling him to fuck off after he pushed me out of the way in a very long taxi que I had been stood in for 20 mins and I was next in line.

The last one ^^ was last Friday evening.

In all my years I have never called men vile names like I have recieved.
One because I am not rude and vile but more importantly because I fear they would attack me if I spoke to them the same way.

The younger me used to put up with it keep my head down and move out of their way.
The older me fights back a bit but I am still scared they will hit me if I do.

Feel free to list your own.

In year 7 I got called a frigid whore by the boy who sat next to me in maths. He slipped his hand in between my thighs and I pushed him off me.

Randomhusband: I think there is a difference between a stranger saying "I like your top" and a stranger gushing "you look amazing!". I regularly see a woman by me who has a look which I really envy. Would I say that to her? No. I don't know her and it would be awkward and even creepy.

A man coming over to specifically tell me I look amazing in soft play (please tell me you didn't tell her you'd seen her before) would make me uncomfortable and probably a bit irritated because it would come accross as being hit on. If he toned it down and said "cool top" when I was stood next to him in the coffee queue and walked off, that is completely different.

Last week I went out for the first time in a long time. I had a bloke get right in my face with "alright darling" and then tell me "fuck off you ugly cow" when I moved away. I had someone tell me he'd be taking me home whether I wanted it or not. Someone else expected me to be flattered when he grabbed me, comments about nice tits blah blah blah. Bar men winking at me and making suggestive comments (I did complain publicly on their FB page), being told he wouldn't touch me with a barge pole anyway after I'd moved away from someone trying to dance with me...

I'm old, it mostly washes over me now (but still hurts sometimes) but watching younger women having to put up with leery old men touching them makes me sad.

Day to day over the last month: being called a bitch for refusing to let someone push in, asked whether I was on the blob (lovely phrase) because I was standing up for myself. Told I should be grateful for the attention.

Someone up thread said about learning to ignore car horns and people shouting from cars/down the street. This. Also, not making eye contact with groups of men and having your guard up autonatically when a guy on a night out is genuingely just being nice.

Randomhusband just doesn't 'get it'. He thinks as long as it's a compliment it's okay, he's not 'one of those guys' and I think he thought we'd all thank him for that.

He doesn't understand it's still unwanted. We don't care about his opinion, it is intrusive to disturb someones day and force your opinion on them about their appearence and I think he thought the woman would enjoy his attention and his approval.

I doubt she did. He didn't call her a slag but it was still unwanted attention and the expectation that the woman would enjoy it or be grateful makes it a bit more offensive in my opinion. At least the ones who call you a slag don't expect you to appreciate it.

But then i'm sure this will lead to a lot of male readers going straight to hyperbole and 'God, so we can't say ANYTHING'.

If I walked up to a man and said 'I think you look AMAZING today' I think he'd think I was extremely odd. Because men don't have to put up with women constantly expressing opinions about their appearance or behaviour.

Like other posters I have been told I am ugly by strangers lots of times. The last time was on a beach with DD and a photographer asked to take our photo (which they then sell to you obviously). I said no, thanks. He came up close and whispered "Just as well as you're too ugly for a photo". It was just so shocking that still, in my forties, men think that they can comment on my appearance and want to shock me.

Bit Doculament: women compliment each other all the time. It generally isn't done as a "you've earned my approval, good girl" way. In most situations I'd suggest it isn't meant that way by guys either.

Although as I said above, casually telling someone stood next to you that like their top is very different to specifically going over to someone to gush that you think they look amazing (which is what Randomhusband is suggesting he did).

Being nice is simply being nice. OK, Randomhusband may have crossed the line (even if he genuingely didn't mean to) but please don't be so biased as to think that a guy saying he likes your new hair cut is him being dominating or trying to sleep with you.

Oh and I compliment men too and guess what, they like to be told nice things too and I promise you ai'm nkt trying to sleep with them or assert my authority (which I do have in some situations).

Posted too soon...
I just like their choice of shirt. It makes no difference to me whether they wore that shirt or the other one but I happened to notice it, I like it so I thought I'd say something nice.

Men like Random give compliments because they think women need to be complimented.
He decided that day that this women would appreciate the thoughts of a strange man.

I mean she cannot possibly be happy or fufilled without being complimented.

It was his own ego that made him approach a stranger and tell her dge looked good. He thinks he is sooo important and his inner thoughts matter so much she a stranger would have a better day because of him.

Didn't say it was an act of dominance or wanting to sleep with the woman did I? Weird that you came to that conclusion.

I said it is unwanted, uninvited attention from people you don't know. Which it is.That in the case of randomhusbands example, he seemed to want to be applauded for/appreciated by us.

Big difference between complimenting a friend or colleague who you have a social relationship with. I compliment female and male people if I know them well enough.

Going up to a stranger and telling them they look amazing is very different. Are you really approaching men and women you don't know to give them your opinion of how they look?

@zzzzz

Yes it fucking is!

Asmen, that cartoon is horrible. Not horrible as in "rings true", just horrible.

I'm not sure what your angle is?

Anyway, on the topic of things that men have called me, last week a cyclist shouted to me that I was a fucking cunt. That was nice.

No cookies for you, random. You explained why men aren't all like that, then went on to illustrate the thought process behind why so many men are like that. Because you think, and they think, that your opinion of random women in the street and how attractive they are matters to them.

It doesn't.

If I walked up to a man and said 'I think you look AMAZING today' I think he'd think I was extremely odd. Because men don't have to put up with women constantly expressing opinions about their appearance or behaviour.*

Actually this is a good point and has made me think

Lots of good points on this thread. I think it boils down to (for me) an extreme annoyance at the way lots of men seem to think the whole world of womanhood is a beauty parade for them to judge.

Urgh just leave us alone.

What really irritates me is when dh is watching the darts on tv. At the start of each match, 2 young ladies, short skirts, make- up, big smiles, escort the 2 male contestants to the stage. In fact it more than irritates me, it makes me bloody angry! I mean, why? I feel sorry for them, sorry for their mothers and sorry for the viewers. So bloody degrading, all round.

I've noticed as well how twenty years ago when I was thinner and better looking, I used to get propositions but also a load of insults - men who weren't exactly attractive blocking my path to tell me I was ugly etc. Two decades later, I never get insulted. Yeah to a point it's because I'm now 'invisible' but it does feel like I'm being treated with more respect- like an actual person.

TheWitch yesterday, actually got punched in the mouth! Unbelievable! I wish you had called the police, TheWitch and had him arrested for assault.

Bubbaleo I was 15 and the house the party was at, was a policemans, or ex policeman can't remember which.

I didn't feel safe there, So left, I few knew what had happened.

I have a yo yo weight problem. When I'm slim, lots of attention from men. When I'm overweight, I am invisible (apart from the odd look of disdain) As I've got older (i'm slim-ish at the moment) the attention is more of a sort of fawning, smiling, rushing to help me, sort of thing. Pathetic! Women stay the same throughout.

I've not had experiences like these but I can remember this from school days.

Boy to girl - "Can I touch you?"
Girl - "No"
Boy - "Frigid bitch!"

Boy to girl - "Can I touch you?"
Girl - "Yes"
Boy - "Slut!"

I've been barged out the way by a man when I was walking down the street with my DH - we both thought he'd grabbed my wallet, but no, he was just barging me aside.

A man also recently told me to Fuck off because I just walked past him.

Yes, as a teenager walking to school, a coupke of boys would intimidate me and smirk at me. One day, one of them muttered “you bitch” as we passed each other and another time, there were four of them and he spat his chewing gum at me and the rest of them laughed.
Cowardly bastardised, no way would he have done any of those if I was either; a boy, with someone else or if he was on his own.

More recently, whenobkextong being called “sexy “or having a great arse, he tells me “don’t you like being called beautiful?” Er, that wasn’t what you called me though and why do you need to give your opinion about my appearance at all? Twat.

Marklah, schooldays, at least you were asked before the insults! All I remember from those days is being "lunged at" and groped Idiots!! This thread is quite cathartic, even though disgusting. Thanks, OP.

I got a train a few times and got talking to a chap. He said I looked good for my age. New the day he said another such similar thing. Next day I got an earlier train. My dad couldn't understand why I was upset about this but I found a stranger commenting on my looks really intrusive. We only spoke about the weather and light subjects... Why did my looks have anything to do with him? Why did he think that I cared what he thought about my looks?

When dh and I were first together, we were in an amusement arcade. I was waiting for him outside the loo. Two men who worked there made comments about my "nice assets"etc. Told dh, expecting him to encourage me to report to the manager and he said "don't you realise that's a compliment?" WTAF! It must be ingrained in men from their schooldays or something? Anyway, reported the men, received an apology and had a good talk with soon-to- be dh. He's not at all thick but didn't seem to realise that a woman has full right to stand somewhere, without being commented on. It's interesting how I viewed it as insults and intrusive, whereas dh saw it as a compliment. Soon de-brainwashed him though and we've been married 28 years