Things men have called me and why.

[CosmicCanary]

Slag lots of times but this was the first.
I was 13 he was late teens.
My crime: I walked past him and did not look at him when he said "alright darling"

Whore
Countless times but the one that sticks in my memory.
Aged 16 he was in his 30s with his mates outside a pub.
My crime: i said no thank you when he asked me for a fuck.

Just a tart
Aged around 19. Him same age.
My crime: I declined his offer of a drink in front of his mates so i was labelled just a tart who was out for free drinks.

Hysterical bitch
Aged 22. Him about same age.
My crime: I told him to fuck off after he repeatedly grabbed my arse while I was waiting at the bar.

prozzy
Aged 22. Him much older.
My crime: wearing a short skirt.

Quite a few years of all the above comments then:

Ugly bitch
Aged 39. Him mid 30s.
My crime: To say no he could not sit on my knee in the pub I was drinking in.

Fat slag
Me aged 40. Him late 20s.
My crime: Telling him to fuck off after he pushed me out of the way in a very long taxi que I had been stood in for 20 mins and I was next in line.

The last one ^^ was last Friday evening.

In all my years I have never called men vile names like I have recieved.
One because I am not rude and vile but more importantly because I fear they would attack me if I spoke to them the same way.

The younger me used to put up with it keep my head down and move out of their way.
The older me fights back a bit but I am still scared they will hit me if I do.

Feel free to list your own.

I think I really really fade into the background (probably deliberately) as I haven't had any of that -

When I was in school it was

"Lezzer"
"Sheman / shemale"

I think random husbands getting an unfair pasting. I often tell women, I love your hair, your coat, your nails etc. Why is it ok for me but not him? If it's a genuine heartfelt compliment with no ulterior motive then what's the problem?

I've been called stuck up, bitch, and had all kinds of awful "I'd fuck that" etc but I've never been called a slag/whore/slut by a man. I have by a few women though.

I've been called easy, slag, lesbian, sexy bitch, and frigid. Mainly though, I've had groups of men or boys announce as I happen to be walking past them what they'd like to do to me or ask me if I'll suck them off/let them put them put their cock up my arse etc. This was mostly as a teenager.
Weirdly, I actually found those times less intimidating than the occasions when I passed a group of men and they would simply all turn round to stare at me and go completely silent.

I now live in an overseas city that is notorious for its street harassment. It's literally the second thing some people think of (after the famous big triangular pointy things that are the main tourist attraction ).

I occasionally, when walking downtown, get chatted up by some local chancer who is told 'no Thanks!' & goes away amiably enough.

Last night, walking from Tube to hotel in London, I was followed for 5 minutes by 4 guys young enough to be my sons. Their opening gambit was to tell me how tall I am, then when I ignored them they walked behind me telling me they were going to fuck me up, then when I turned round & told them to FOTTFSOF, they yelled abuse after me (fat/ugly/old/slag/whore etc etc).

I don't think British boys/men actually do this for its impact on women, tbh. I think they do this because the culture is so inherently rapey that that's how they win approval from their mates.

The most memorable one for me was when one man nodded across a pub table at me, to his mate, and said - deliberately loudly enough that I could hear: 'look at the tits on it.'

IT??? I asked him if he was talking about me but he just laughed it off. Cunts.

Yup, all of the above sexual and appearance based insults, presumably due to not wanting to shag/talk men who feel they have rights to my body/company/time.....so agree with the heartfelt desire to be just left the fuck alone..
Additionally, have also been called strident or aggressive when refusing to concede during debates/arguments; controlling when defining limits in behaviour or standards; cold or frigid when not wanting sex when partner does. Sigh .

Because most women will have had experienced of being 'complimented' by men and not giving an enthusiastic/grateful enough response and then ending up faced with aggression.
Gosh yes! A regular occurrence in nightclubs of my youth....them: you look amazing, fancy a shag? Me: no them: didnt fancy you anyway, you frigid cow/slag/dog

The aggression is not far below the surface

Yes I've had a lot of aggression when not reacting "correctly" to a compliment or invitation, up to and including a man who got right in my face and was shouting about "taking this outside" ie he wanted a physical fight

A guy, same uni course as me, later shouted "you're a slut" after I went on 2 dates with him and then called it off without sleeping with him...

I wasn't upset, but I'd previously thought him a nice enough guy and fairly intelligent. I was so wrong.

Also had a pint poured over my head, and been called names more times than I remember, in those circs, often in quite a threatening way.

The "nice" men need to remember that most women have come across enough not nice men to mean that even genuine compliments with no expectation are treated with extreme caution.

Actually I don't really believe that heterosexual men who you aren't related to / don't know really do go around giving complements with no expectation. Maybe some men tell themselves they do. But actually they are at least looking for a smile or some thanks. And yes they are intruding.

Some men are so shallow. I've lost a lot of weight this year and suddenly getting attention from men (was invisible before) even when out with my dh. It's not comments but more like a kind of fawning. Fuck off! If it wasn't for my health, i'd actually consider putting some of the weight back on again just so I could relax again! Isn't that ridiculous?

In my younger days I got into quite a bit of trouble, because I didn't follow the rules of intimidation and aggression.

I gave as good I got. Which didn't have great results sometimes, got punched in the month for apparently embarrassing a bloke at a party.

He'd being giving me shit so I had given it back, I went outside for a smoke he came round the corner and punched me, and told me not to do it again. He split my lip. The weird things is the first that came out of my mouth whilst looking him in the eye was "Oh you biiitch" I left not long after So I could cry and felt like it was my fault and dare not tell anyone incase the thought I had it coming.

I dropped all contact with anyone from the party. Not a big thing really as I didn't socialise that much with them anyway.

Another time when I was younger still, it was an on going fued with a guy. He'd call me slag/bitch or whatever, I'd retort with dickhead/wanka, each time we past or saw each other he'd get more aggressive, until at a bus station he started threatening me and warning me what could happen......

So I calmly told him he should be careful, and not walk down a dark ally on his own as I knew people who may cause a little harm to him if he continued(I did and he knew it) He freaked right out, and couldn't stop himself from realising a barrage of names. If we hadn't been in a busy bus station I think he'd have battered me.

He did keep his distance and his month shut after that but a month or so later his sister collared me, to tell me what a fucking phyco bitch I was for threatening her brother like that.

I have created a depressing thread

Thank you to all that shared.

I will never understand why some men think its ok to behave in such away.

I guess the reason I wouldn't have minded a man complimenting me is because on the few instances where this has happened to me, they have genuinely not expected anything in return. I was stopped before crossing the road by a man who told me I had beautiful eyes. I smiled, he smiled, we went on our way.

I do understand that most women won't feel that way though, because in their experience the men have expected something out of it.

Please don't think I'm trying to put down those women who dislike it, I'm not.

It does bother me that they don't do it to men though, but I guess I have such low self-esteem that compliments actually make me feel better, even if the reasoning behind giving them is pretty sexist....

*Bubba"

What's worse is most of them have been from partners, not random men I've somehow "upset".

Men build up their own self esteem by smashing down women's, it's what being a man is all about.

It's a very very old male tradition.

It's der Kulture!

"Hey boy, don't you throw like a girl. you don't want to be classed as one of those do you?"

"She'd be fuckable if she had tits" - two random guys at a bus stop.

"I'd fuck that til it bled" - in a nightclub outside area.

"Frigid whore", "bitch", "ugly cunt", "slut" etc etc. Usually when I've rejected advances.

When I was making out with boyfriend in a club, aged 20. Old drunk man in corner nudged him and shouted “GRAB HER CUNT”

I have 3 children with one man and 1 child with another so naturally 'whore' is a common one for me. I was called a whore only yesterday by the father of 3 of my children after an argument about Christmas.

Normally it's men I've rejected that call me a whore, slut, slag etc.