Why are feminists so aggressive?

[BertrandRussell]

This, or something like it, it always being asked. People say that the FWR board on here is scary and hounds out people whose faces don't fit. That women are always being told they can't be feminists if.......And so on. And so on.

In my experiences, you are much more likely to get an aggressive response if you express a feminist point of view than the other way round. Is it just me? Or am I missing something?

There have been plenty of interesting feminists threads recently, where everyone seems to be holding their own- but the same old accusations keep coming up.

Oh, how disappointing. I had hoped to reply with a oh so witty "why are you such a twat?" but I can't. Feminists are fun ruiners. 😉

I think it's a shut down technique. Like creating a straw man. Just claim we're far too unreasonable to debate with and strip off. We can't explain our point of view if noone will talk to us.

Ha! Strop off.

Maybe because anything less than total unthinking compliance while looking pretty and letting the men talk is considered aggressive?

I think it's just another silencing tactic, and after all, what could be less appealing than a gasp angry woman who won't "lighten up and shut up"?

It's so fucking depressing. Same old bullshit, another generation. Sorry I can't be more erudite.

Bloody typical. Your internalized misogyny is so ingrained that you're telling me to strip off-you're just treating me as a sex object......

😂😂

I think it's a totally understandable psychological reaction. When you've grown up to think the world is a lovely, fair place and everyone is looking out for your best interests, someone coming along and saying that, actually, the deck is stacked massively against you can be quite painful - it's not surprising that it comes across as aggressive even when the words themselves are very reasonable. It's a defence mechanism to an extent - a rejection of a very painful realisation.

Also, women are very powerfully trained, on a subconscious level, not to annoy men in any way because if any of those men want to make us pay, they can and they will. So we are not to criticise men at all. Any criticism of men is perceived as aggressive because it feels like inciting violence, 'asking for' retribution. Again, an understandable feeling in the circumstances.

Of course, 'calm down dear' is also a misogynistic silencing tactic.

It's cos we hate all the menz so much. We can't go groping them, harrassing them in the street, assaulting them, attacking their spaces and such like so it makes us furious... ...

Or hormones

It's because none of us can take a joke apparently.

Whole swathes of humourless women just desperate to aggressively pounce on some poor man who was "only joking".

I don't get the 'feminism board is scary' thing. This is a part of the site where I feel really comfortable posting. I don't expect universal agreement when I post something but where there is disagreement, its almost always well-reasoned, articulated in a polite and not personal way, and you can engage with it. With aibu, there are some posts that are so mind-bogglingly rude and ill thought out, I just can't even begin to engage.

Some of the topics or threads can be very serious for some( well me )and occasionally it can intimidate people also I have seen posters mocked if they don't understand something or can't explain themselves in theroy based discussion and I think this is where the femminists are aggressive comments come from,

It is because in patriarchy, the ideal is that women do not criticise men, ever.

Thus, even the mildest, nicest criticism of men is perceived as "aggressive".

We should start being really aggressive, in order to move the Overton Window.

There's an entry on TVTropes on "Designated Hero",

tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DesignatedHero

complaining that the feminists from a certain webcomic come across as this (basically, heroes who are only heroes because the author says so, despite acting like villains), because:

"... and even have a member who, when questioned about why she "hates men," doesn't disagree with the idea and labels men as her oppressor."

So, that's what it needs for a woman to be a complete and utter villain and "Jerkass Straw Feminist" : To openly say that men are her oppressors and fail to disagree with the accusation that she "hates men".

Sometimes I feel a little unsure about posting on here...not because I think feminists are aggressive but because some of the posters on this board are extremely articulate and knowledgeable. I often struggle to explain theoretical ideas I may have.

It's quite ironic that given how 'emotional' women are supposed to be, when it comes down to it, it's always men's emotions we have to protect. Men are very very fragile, we can't in any way imply that they're not fantastic because we can't possibly hurt their feelings, ever. However, women are supposed to just accept being groped, assaulted, raped, killed because that's just the way things are and along the way we have to accept plenty of 'jokes' about how we're sluts etc.

I don't think that's an issue at all formerbabe - it's fine to say that you don't quite know how to express something - there'll always be plenty of posters willing to explore things with you.

Anything thats not nice or compliant or apologetic is perceived as aggressive in a woman and mistaken for assertiveness in a man.

I have seen posters mocked if they don't understand something or can't explain themselves in theroy based discussion

I have that seen happen only to people who try to defend misogyny. Never to people who admit that they don't understand/know enough to form an opinion.

If you are proud of your ignorance, well, you have to expect to be mocked for it.

Any boss who thinks being a boss is about being a fucking arsehole deserves non cooperation. One issue is that alot of women who want to be in charge tend to ape the asshole bosses, because they have been told that men are in charge because they are aggressive, and so they get a boss job, behave like an arse, and get loads of resistance.

Feminism has started to become a thought police exercise over concerned with micro aggressions or turns of phrase, whilst doing nothing actually practical but shout at 'the oppressor', but shouting at someone in charge merely acknowledges and reinforces that power. A lot of hyperaware self titled feminists are effectively tantruming in the face of authority, which is why they can just get more and more frustrated.
Dismantling power or gaining power doesn't happen by shouting at it, saying 'please change'

Theory and a clever altering of perception is not the same as fact. A lot of feminists treat statements like 'women can't be sexist' or 'patriarchy defines gender' as though they are scientific facts. They aren't, they are a perspective they would like the world to have,.

There isn't a 'patriarchy rule book' BTW, the patriarchy as a term to personify everything you feel is unfair to you compared with a sort of 'un-idealman' is actually incorrect.

I think a lot of so called feminists are actually just malcontents, who want men to take responsibility for their malcontentedness. The paradox is that in passing responsibility to men, you can end up building the walls that imprison you.

I am not sure the goal of feminism is to have women spending g their lives shouting at men, but that is often the net effect.

I think we were doing better in the 80s and 90s than now, as gender seemed to not just mean thug men and pretty women as it seems to now..

"also I have seen posters mocked if they don't understand something or can't explain themselves"

I have never, ever, ever seen this. Except if a poster says "Well, I think men should be head of the household and make all the major decisions and I love being subservient" or something similar.(possible exaggeration for effect). Then surely mockery is the only sensible response?

I find myself very angry at the huge trick I've fallen for throughout my life - i.e that feminism has won. Now I've had my kids and I'm not longer 'fuckable' I realise what a load of old bollocks it all is. Women are still valued more for their bodies than for anything else and always were.

So, I'm quite angry. And to be fair that probably does come across as aggression sometimes however hard I try not to have it so!

'I am not sure the goal of feminism is to have women spending g their lives shouting at men, but that is often the net effect.'

Do you honestly believe this? Because I was going to challenge it, then I realised everything I said made you look like an idiot. So I'm assuming you're not an idiot and now I'm confused about how you can't realise that feminism has won women every single right they have. Were you unaware of that? (again sorry for making it seem like you're an idiot).

Bear with me here but...
I kind of think feminism is an aggressive act.

If someone has absorbed all these messages that the world is a lovely place and nothing bad will happen to them because all the fights have been won and we can get back to making lovely choices that don't harm anyone and certainly aren't formed by societal norms and then feminists come along and speak truth, it can actually feel very aggressive. It can feel like an attack. It can feel like someone is coming along and shaking your foundations.

I don't for a moment regret refinding feminism in my 40s. But my world is a less pleasant and far less secure place now and I'm still reeling from that. It's like the 70s chat about 'consciousness raising' - it's a thing and often a rather unpleasant thing too. I don't wonder some feel battered by it.