White women- it's all your fault

[WeldMeDaphne]

I will preface this by saying that I am indeed a white woman. And I realise this affords me a lot of privilege.
Among a lot of the rhetoric around the Events unfolding in the US (mostly Charlottesville), I've seen a number of open letters to white women about our complicity in the neo-nazi and white supremacist movement in the US and elsewhere. Clearly those women marching last week on the nazi side were white, but there was a lot of suggestion that those white women not marching but associated with men marching (wives girlfriends etc) were just as culpable as the men wielding torches and assault rifles. I guess I would like some help understanding how this is a white woman issue rather than the white men being responsible for their own actions? I get that one of those pieces said those men are going home to pie cooked by their doting wives but I just feel as though a man who holds those views and has no issue with demonstrating them publically is unlikely to be a caring loving husband?
I am fully prepared to listen to all view points and I totally understand that the people on these marches are white, but they're mostly men, right? Sonhow is this women's fault?

OP often mens offending is blamed on women somehow - their mother didn't teach them right from wrong, their partner didn't influence them yadda yadda. I think it goes right back to Freud and his views on boys and their mothers.
Also I think women are also very quick to accept this mantle and somehow feel like they should be able to fix things for everyone.
In these kind of circs, the men don't seem to have to take responsibility for their actions and it gets blamed on others, often women, instead.

White women who voted for Trump are abhorrent though. They didn't care about his misogyny or racism.

I was thinking something similar about another issue this morning, about those super rich families that pose happily with the dead body of a large safari animal they paid tens of thousands of pounds to hunt. I wondered what kind of women would support and even pose happily with such partners. Sure, the fella is responsible for his bloodthirstiness but I felt anger at the wife/gf for happily supporting it.
Same with vile leaders around the world, i blame them first but also their spouses for supporting such a cruel prick, especially when their actions cause harm to families and children. I just don't get it.

I'd say for example if my father did something misogynist or was a misogynist and I stood by him I would be responsible in some way. It's all our duty not to stand by or condone misogyny or racism.

White women who voted for Trump are abhorrent though. They didn't care about his misogyny or racism

It's not it women who made trump president really though is it? Men voted him every step of the way.
So why bother blaming his crap on other women instead of blaming and fighting the source of it?

The women are with these men because they share a lot in common they are both racist. That's all you need to understand she is supporting his hate so he can go out.

"It's all our duty not to stand by or condone misogyny or racism."

I literally have not got enough time to confront every instance of misogyny I encounter, never mind racism, homophobia, classism, mocking of the disabled. It would be impossible.

With the levels of domestic and family abuse against women and girls I find it hard to believe lots of those women made a free choice to be with those pieces of crap tbh.

huffp.st/otu42i4
This was the first one- and yes, I absolutely understand that there were and are white supremacist women, which is deplorable. But reading a few of those tweets at the end... felt like it was blaming women for all of this.

Afuna are you saying the women with these supremacists are victims I don't think they are. They know what they married or in a relationship with.

Well, wtf type of family do you think they are from to hold such horrid views? It's hardly like these racist groups don't hate women too.

I think it is wrong to blame kids for standing by misogynistic fathers. We don't choose our parents, like we choose our partners - it's natural to love and feel more loyalty to parents than to strangers, even if those parents have views that most 9ther people disagree with. I think Ivanka Trump was treated very unfairly when she refused to condemn her father for his comments/behaviour. Shops refused to stock her designs and I felt that was bullying. She doesn't actually owe anybody anything - she isn't responsible for or to anyone.

SylviaPoe I didn't mean to challenge every instance but more generally, to oppose all of it when we are able.

Does anyone actually thinks these men give a fuck about what women think?

..as if our condemnation would change their hearts!

White women who voted for Trump are abhorrent though. They didn't care about his misogyny or racism.

@nolove white women who voted Trump were of course in the wrong but if you look at the vitriol levelled at them it is far greater than they deserve. Google it. There are several articles blaming them but none for white men even though they voted for him more

I guess people expect women to vote against a notorious misogynist but women are constantly told to shrug off and minimise sexism, harassment and see it as "just banter". Is it any wonder then when they do so?

I must be stupid. I literally don't understand what points that letter is making or the tweets afterwards.

I guess people expect women to vote against a notorious misogynist but women are constantly told to shrug off and minimise sexism, harassment and see it as "just banter". Is it any wonder then when they do so?

I think it's part of the crap thinking that women are morally more sound than men and should be able to stand up against them cos of being, well, woman. Don'tmatter what shit they face , they should stand up against these horrible men!

Yes it's the 'but you should know better' crap from our childhood isn't it. Girls are held to a higher standard than boys. Looks like it never ends.

Exactly. All the same bullshit.

If a woman knowingly marries a supremacist doesn't that make her horrible to. She's not going to stop her nasty man from doing what he's doing because she believes it to. They are both nasty and horrible human beings.

If a woman knowingly marries a supremacist doesn't that make her horrible too?

Maybe so but it doesn't make her as horrible as her partner who drives a car into a crowd of people

It is because women are always blamed for everything. Pointing an accusing finger at men is dangerous, so if you want to virtue signal, you blame women.

I just ignore people who say anything about "white women" or "white feminism" these days.

In 99,9 % of cases those people care shit about black women, they just want to distract from their crimes against ALL women by pointing an accusing finger at white women, or white feminists, or feminists. Whatever.

Just ignore.

The women who actually support white supremacist males do so cheerfully and with conviction, they won't ever read those open letters.

It all seems rather pointless.

"Don't give your emotional energy, labour or resources to men who don't respect you" is something feminists have said forever and ever, and no doubt any woman who wakes up one day and realizes she is married to a racist who refuses to listen to her reasonable arguments against racism, will already have heard it, and apply the advice, if possible.

If a woman knowingly marries a supremacist doesn't that make her horrible too. She's not going to stop her nasty man from doing what he's doing because she believes it too. They are both nasty and horrible human beings

Yes indeed.

That seems like a pointless letter - white women can be racist therefore white women who are not racist should stop them.

For me should be if some holds a view you oppose be it racist, sexist etc you should stand up to it.

Also as a WOC - who are these women that still think feminism is about everyone being nice to each other, that women aren't allowed to be racist, sexist etc of they chose to be?