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Original poster

Son not welcome at sewing workshop

376 replies

Cheryl39 · 20/07/2017 21:15

Just tried to sign up for me, my 16 year old daughter and 18 year old son to join a one day sewing workshop and the tutor was very unwelcoming about my son joining. She said the workshops are mainly attended by women and the group as a whole might be uncomfortable talking about women's issues with a young man present. I feel really sad about this and so have not signed up.....is the tutor being discriminatory......what are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Elendon · 20/07/2017 21:48

Unless it's a specific group that is using sewing as a way of getting women to talk through their abuse, and is being used as a therapy session, then this is certainly not on.

If it was a lesson for therapy, then you should not have signed yourself and your children.

More information is needed.

Elendon · 20/07/2017 21:50

Cross post there.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 20/07/2017 21:53

It is indeed quite an odd thread.

Theweasleytwins · 20/07/2017 21:54

I used to work in a sewing shop. My boss always said there were many male sewers, I worked there for 2 1/2 years and met about 2 male sewers (don't know if I'm spelling that right) that ladies wrong attitude doesn't help

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 20/07/2017 21:59

It could be there are women in the class who would have to stay away if there were a man in the class. Look for other classes

Whilst I'm a teeny bit sceptical about the thread, that is no justification for refusing to take a male participant.

AgentProvocateur · 20/07/2017 22:01

Are you sure you've not signed up for the vaginal knitting class by mistake? www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/dec/17/vaginal-knitting-artist-defence

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 20/07/2017 22:05

I'm a woman and I would hate to go to a sewing class where women discuss their "women's" issues.

Surely I would be there to talk about sewing.

Most odd.

QueenLaBeefah · 20/07/2017 22:09

Can't he just claim he is gender fluid and identify as a woman for the day?

Unless it specifically states it is "women only" (and I'm struggling to think of why this might br) then I think he has been discriminated against.

newtlover · 20/07/2017 22:12

yes, I'd be going back to sign up your DS AND a few friends....is this hosted in a college/library/school? because I'd say this was illegal.

Datun · 20/07/2017 22:13

Hhhmm. Interesting.

It may be that 'sewing class' is a euphemism for a different type of women group.

I am a member of an on line knitting group. I don't knit. Because it's not about that. Women's only groups are being shut down all over the place. They are having to go underground in order to remain female only.

If it's actually just for sewing, I don't see why they would object.

QueenLaBeefah · 20/07/2017 22:15

Pretty sad state of affairs that a women's group (which I whole heartedly support) needs to disguise itself as a sewing group.

SylviaPoe · 20/07/2017 22:18

Why is this thread in feminism?

Lurkedforever1 · 20/07/2017 22:20

A town a friend lived in had a few groups like this. There were intergration problems and racial issues in general, but in particular some Muslim women who were very isolated (little English and not part of a wider settled Muslim community either). By keeping it women only, these women could attend and mix/make friends. But nobody would have made it clear that was the reason because it would have fuelled more racial hatred.

Could that be the reason in your area op?

Bedsettee · 20/07/2017 22:26

Agree with Datun perhaps it's code for women only as in women only!

drspouse · 20/07/2017 22:27

I am in such a women's group as Lurked mentions. There is a sewing section. It is a women's group and I don't go to the sewing section (as it is at 3pm, useless if you have children in school and useless if you work in the daytime).

I go to some weekend events which are open to women, and boys under 10 (from memory). They are explicitly for those groups. Nobody has complained about advertising this as for those people.

There are also multifaith groups open to all - men and women. Some women don't go to the mixed groups (and, sadly, most of the local White British mums with children don't go to the family outings - when I go I'm often the only mum of European origin, though a few retired White British ladies go who also are keen members of the sewing group, as are the retired non-British ladies). Many of the members are refugees and asylum seekers and basically the groups say "you're ever so welcome in our country and so are your children and we'll have a women only space for you to get to know people - but you aren't going to get to know anyone who's White British". But that is a side issue. Rant over.

Datun · 20/07/2017 22:34

I absolutely agree that women should have women only groups. To talk about feminism, to support sexual assault survivors, etc.

It's completely different to say, a golf club, where the issue does not depend upon biology.

I wouldn't expect a woman to want to join a man's group about prostate cancer, for example, or something which affected them because of their different biology.

I can understand the presence of a man in the sewing group might well change the dynamic, though. On the other hand, he might learn something!

ZippyCameBack · 20/07/2017 22:35

If this is a group for women only, then the tutor should have said so. Instead, she said that it was "mainly" women who attend.
I get the need for women-only groups, but discouraging boys/men from taking up crafts which are more usually seen as for women only doesn't help anyone.
As a seller of sewing patterns (and the mother of sons) I think that everyone should be encouraged to try whatever crafts they like. My husband is teaching our boys to splice ropes and make lobster pots and I am teaching them knitting, sewing and cooking. (I do also know how to make lobster pots but it shreds my fingers so I opt out of that!).

Datun · 20/07/2017 22:36

Good point ZippyCameBack.

They may not want him to be there, but I don't think they can insist on it. And I agree, it's great that he wants to learn to sew.

ZippyCameBack · 20/07/2017 22:37

The golf club analogy is a good one. Most people would, I think, say that it's wrong to exclude people from a hobby because of their biological sex (unless I've missed something and you actually use your genitals to play). Gradually more golf clubs seem to be coming out of the Dark Ages and admitting women as members. I don't think this is so very different.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 20/07/2017 22:38

A one day workshop doesn't really sound like the sort of women's group some of you are referring to.

millifiori · 20/07/2017 22:39

Book yourself an dyour DC onto a better course. She's never heard of Paul Smith, Alexander McQueen and all the other male designers who started out cutting and sewing their own creations?
On a good course, they'll be talking about the design, the fabric, the stiching. Not periods.

JiggyTuff · 20/07/2017 22:40

If it's advertised as a women only sewing group, he shouldn't go. If it isn't, then he should.

Datun · 20/07/2017 22:41

That's true Lass. People running a one day workshop will not have a membership who are invested in it being for women only, would they?

Lurkedforever1 · 20/07/2017 23:37

Fair point lass I overlooked the one day aspect.

drspouse advertising it as women wouldn't have been a problem, but advertising that it was some Muslim women in particular would have had a backlash.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 20/07/2017 23:39

I suspect, if it is like the craft group here, that she has a core group of members who go to all the classes and groups (knitting, crochet, felting etc), get merry and loose lipped, and may feel that having a new male member might upset the balance. Its probably not about the act of sewing at all, she just doesn't want to upset the hardcore few.