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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

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245 replies

UpForDiscussi0n · 28/06/2017 13:14

Full transparacy, I am not a mother nor a woman. English is not my first language so exuse any misshap. I only made this account to be able to talk to a feminist first-hand to be able to see their view-points. I am myself not a feminist as i don't belive that the feminism in today's society promotes equality on some levels. I have also read several news outlets such as bussfeed and the huffington post but find them to be (as i said, bad english so don't really know how to put it) downlooking towards myself as a man. Would love to hear people out and debate or discuss feministic issues, have a good day.

OP posts:
user1477249785 · 28/06/2017 13:15

Hi there. I think rather than starting a thread, you can get a really good exposure to the debate and discussion by just reading the threads already in this section. Why not start there and see where you get to?

Original poster
UpForDiscussi0n · 28/06/2017 13:19

Thanks for the suggestion and will do. Altough I still feel like I will moreso understand the viewpoints if I'm able to ask questions and focus solely on the objective of understanding why someone would be a feminist, how they feel it helps their situations and so on.

OP posts:
user1477249785 · 28/06/2017 13:23

So that is amply explained elsewhere in threads on this site. Read those, figure out exactly what it is that you don't understand (rather than the generic, it doesn't make sense in you posts) and then maybe ask something more specific. Or even better, join conversations that are already ongoing and try and contribute something.

BertrandRussell · 28/06/2017 13:26

I'm sure if you ask a specific question someone will answer it for you.

Which bits of feminism do you have issues with?

DJBaggySmalls · 28/06/2017 13:28

What about feminism doesnt make sense? What articles look down on men?
Be specific, and post some links to examples.

We need to talk about the problems that women face. If violence from men is the problem then we will talk about it. When an article says 'men harass women on the street, what can we do to stop that?' they aren't talking about you, unless you harass women on the street.
No one looks down on you. Feminism is not victimizing you. We are trying to tackle real life problems that affect women.

Lottapianos · 28/06/2017 13:29

'I am myself not a feminist as i don't belive that the feminism in today's society promotes equality on some levels'

Can you give some examples of this?

For me, feminism means believing that men and women are equal and deserve to have the same rights and opportunities as each other . It means treating both men and women as individuals and not stereotyping based on sex - for example, thinking that men are 'stronger' or better at maths/science/sports, or thinking that women are 'weaker' or naturally more nurturing. I don't think there's anything controversial about any of that

PoochSmooch · 28/06/2017 13:34

focus solely on the objective of understanding why someone would be a feminist

I'm a feminist because we still live in a sexist society. When we don't, I won't need to be any more.

slug · 28/06/2017 13:41

Hi random dude who wants women to do all the hard work and answer vague questions without doing any research for himself. My suggestion for you is:

  1. Come up with something concrete to be answered, not a vague "feminism does not promote equality" Bear in mind the women on this site are intelligent, educated and articulate.
  1. Be prepared to engage with the answers. Do some research. THINK about what is being said to you.
  1. If you still can't understand why women would choose to want to be equal to men, or can't grasp the idea that our society is inherently sexist, this will help
Original poster
UpForDiscussi0n · 28/06/2017 13:43

Lottapianos: That is more specifically because i feel like feminist today empowers women and doesn't take up issues men are facing. Such as the male suicide rate (in my country last year men made up about 70% of all suicides), the fact that the % of men in higher studies are declining steadily and that (and this is what i have been told by my teachers and guest speakers) if I and a female wants the same job, the person hiring will probably hire the woman because of their gender. I haven't begun working yet and I'm legitimatly scared of not getting a job only because i'm male.

DJBaggySmalls: If i'm mistaken in this please correct me. From what i have read, feminists wants the parents to split the time with a baby 50/50. I feel this should be a choise rather than a command and that parents that choose not to do so shouldn't be condemmed for it.

Have a good day.

OP posts:
Original poster
UpForDiscussi0n · 28/06/2017 13:46

PoochSmooch: Can you explain to me in some concrete ways how women are being oppressed?

Slug: I want to see feminists view-points and have a discussion. I also don't see why you need to be rude.

Have a good day.

OP posts:
Original poster
UpForDiscussi0n · 28/06/2017 13:50

This is further why i feel feminism isn't for equality:

The first question is something i have no control over. Should i be shamed just because i have a penis?

OP posts:
msrisotto · 28/06/2017 13:57

Do you go to children in need and complain that they don't address issues for older adults? I don't know why you think feminism would focus on male issues.

OlennasWimple · 28/06/2017 13:58

Why is the job of feminists to fix male problems?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 28/06/2017 14:02

I'm not sure how interested the OP is in actually learning anything here, so I wouldn't invest too much Smile

Collidascope · 28/06/2017 14:04

"if I and a female wants the same job, the person hiring will probably hire the woman because of their gender."

Great. Where do you live and when can I move there? See, in the UK it's different. They've shown that you put a man's name at the top of a woman's CV, and, like magic, that CV suddenly looks much better to potential employers than if it's shown to be a womans.

Collidascope · 28/06/2017 14:04

*Woman's

CruellaDeVilsEvilSister · 28/06/2017 14:05

The reason I'm not taking up the issue of high male suicides rates is that I don't really give a shit about it. Nevertheless, I'm sure it's a very noble cause. What are you doing about the issue of high male suicide rates OP?

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 28/06/2017 14:07

That is more specifically because i feel like feminist today empowers women and doesn't take up issues men are facing. Such as the male suicide rate (in my country last year men made up about 70% of all suicides)

Please explain why it is the job of women and not men to solve this

glenthebattleostrich · 28/06/2017 14:12

What have you done about male problems and why do you think it is women who should solve them?

I lost my job because I am a mother. I have been groped on a tube because I have breasts. I have been asked to leave places because I use my breasts for their intended purpose. I have been paid less than men I am expected to manage.

And I don't have a gender, I have a sex.

Original poster
UpForDiscussi0n · 28/06/2017 14:15

What i have heard about feminism is that it fights for the equality of the two sexes, does that not mean that it should fight for both sides?

ChiefClerk: There is male feminists aswell. I am not asking of anyone to fight for people, im just asking because i thought that that was what feminism stood for.

Collidascope could you please link to this?

OP posts:
ChiefClerkDrumknott · 28/06/2017 14:16

Can you explain to me in some concrete ways how women are being oppressed?

Some things, big and small, in the UK and other countries:

FGM, pay gap, street harassment, rape culture, sex segregated spaces being done away with, lack of access to education, being made a social pariah due to menstruation, child marriage, maternity rights in the workplace, mother's names still not on marriage certificates...

msrisotto · 28/06/2017 14:19

If you were to take up the fight of equality between the rich and the poor, would you make it your priority to address the needs of the rich? Feminism does fight for equality, but males have the privilege here, so we focus on women. Duh.

BertrandRussell · 28/06/2017 14:20

"The first question is something i have no control over. Should i be shamed just because i have a penis?"
The first question is "What does it feel like to be the same sex as Donald Trump?" Grin

Actually, OP, listening to all those questions might actually help you to understand why women are feminists. Have you tried to answer them and think about the anwpswers?

Original poster
UpForDiscussi0n · 28/06/2017 14:21

Glenthebattle: When the York university decided not to have a men's day www.theguardian.com/education/2015/nov/17/row-after-university-of-york-cancels-international-mens-day-event
I tried to talk to people who supported the protest to better understand why they didn't belive it was important to take up men's issues. I have also talked down a male friend from suicide several times.

Look, i'm just a kid who wants to learn about things, I don't know everything about feminism or why or why not it should help men aswell as women, I just want to learn about it and see what people on both sides are saying.

Have a good day

OP posts:
ChiefClerkDrumknott · 28/06/2017 14:21

What i have heard about feminism is that it fights for the equality of the two sexes, does that not mean that it should fight for both sides?

Well no, because women are not the equal to men in society, so of course we would not fight for men's causes, we've got our own problems to solve. That's for men to do

ChiefClerk: There is male feminists aswell. I am not asking of anyone to fight for people, im just asking because i thought that that was what feminism stood for.

You're wrong about feminism, as has been explained by several posters. Men cannot be feminists. Allies, yes, but not feminists. So, given what has been explained to you, do you understand why it does not fall to women to solve men's problems? Or do you think there are many men fighting to solve women's problems? I can tell you now, most men either don't know about or give a shiny shite about the problems facing women.