Why do some feminists not want sons?

[TeaGreenNC]

Hi, can I just say: some is definitely an important word in my title!

It's just I've seen on a couple of gender disappointments threads where they said reasons they are disappointed is because they're a feminist? I don't think its right to tag them, but that was said.

I'm just wondering what having a son has got to do with being a feminist?

Those lines were featured in the annual magazine of a top boys' school, to old boys, bragging about mocking women

I don't know what you meant to post but that article seems to be one being critical of ill informed comments about what feminism means.

Okay fair enough.

My dad is a feminist and was happy with me!

I have said from day one we are only having one and when we announced his sex, I think most of my friends asked if that meant we would try for a second

Yes me too. I knew I only wanted one child and got that response.

I don't know what you meant to post but that article seems to be one being critical of ill informed comments about what feminism means.

Only because it was written by a boy I'm close to who is actually a feminist.

My brother and I are still super cool.

Having a son has nothing to do with being a feminist other than bringing a son up to be a feminist, to me, which is what my parents and I are doing with my brothers.

You guys are cute.

Be reassured that at 17 boys may be at the peak of saying stupid shit about girls and women. They hide it better grow up.

Only I am saying these things, everyone else is agreeing with you.

I doubt they do given how much misogyny I've seen online and heard in person from men much older than them.

Unless by you guys you meant my brother and I in which case thank you

My mum was Googling something earlier when we were all at the breakfast table and she said "oh I've found something about it on Mumsnet" which made me jolt into the realisation she could find my posts, if that had been 48 hours later she could find two of her children!

Maybe ask MNHQ to delete the pictures!

Haha I don't mind :)

Your brother might. Did you ask his permission to post his picture here?

Nope.

Does he ask my permission to post my photo on his Facebook?
Do I his?
Do my friends ask my permission to post my photo on Facebook?
Do I theirs?

But yeah Lass you try to criticise me in any way you can. I will report the post in question for deletion, but to try to insinuate I'm doing something against my brother's wishes just to criticise me, oh dear.

It probably upsets you that he's a younger sibling of mine, male and feminist because of my influence. Oh well!

NoLove, it is simply not the case that everyone wants sons.

IME (30 something, lots of friends have had babies), if anything there is a preference towards girls when pregnant. Probably because, as women, it's "what they know best".

I don't think it's a feminist issue. I also think spamming the thread with posts about how we've "no idea" because all women want boys, or are "disappointed" with a girl, is obviously untrue, and silly.

You really should stop being so snippy.

This is not Facebook. You may not have noticed but very few posters post photographs and when they do, they are of themselves and faces are almost always blocked out .There are obviously no privacy settings on here.

It's up to you whether or not you post photos of yourself (personally I don't think it is a good idea, it rather defeats the point of having anonymous usernames) but it would be courteous to check with your brother if he wants his photo on Mumsnet.

Yeah I would seriously ask for those to be deleted - they're not relavent to the thread anyway, the OP clearly wasn't asking about your family and it's not really on to post pictures of your Dad and brother without their permission.

The question wasn't "do some feminists not want sons" it was "why do some feminists not want sons" important distinctions - the fact that some women have stated they would prefer daughters because feminism wasn't up for debate, it was querying the thought process behind it!

Anyway FWIW I hear a lot of comments from my peers and older generations along the lines of girls are easier, much less trouble, loving the idea of 'girly' mum & daughter activities (shopping trips, pamper sessions etc), cute images of little girls going off to ballet class - essentially playing right into gender stereotypes and perpetuating all the societal expectations on girls that (my) feminism seeks to liberate us from. So not exactly clear feminist reasoning IMO. Perhaps they see feminism differently, or perhaps their reasoning is different - perhaps it seems more of a challenge/foreign territory to raise a child of the opposite sex, as it's not an experience you've had yourself?

@NoLoveofMine I think you might be reading the tone of the thread wrong.

Okay fair enough. I'll report the posts for deletion.

As for "being so snippy" I noticed no-one had an issue with me being told I was "lecturing people", "not wanted", etc, yet again, as was posted at me last week, but ah well.

It is quite notable how people pile on whenever anyone criticises me on here but when I'm defending myself on other parts of the forum no-one does. Interesting.

www.theguardian.com/society/2010/oct/06/most-mums-favour-sons-survey

blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/mother-son-preference-05312015-shona-sibary/

www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/07/29/more-evidence-of-preference-for-sons/

No one is 'piling on' Amy, and I've not noticed you posting elsewhere on MN TBH. But again, this thread isn't about you.

Do you have some experience or opinion on why some people have a preference for daughters and cite feminism as their reasoning?