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Original poster

Big little lies

54 replies

cookiecakez · 26/04/2017 12:18

Anyone else love this show? What do feminists think?

Love the way it showed the women and children at the end.

Chilling domestic violence scenes that were terrifying but showed the multifaceted way women are trapped in and the risks they face in leaving violence partners.

I went out and read the book and loved the women coming together.

Brilliant actors - made me think that Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman are truly empowered as producers which i don't think would have been possible a generation ago.

What do others think?

OP posts:
Datun · 26/04/2017 14:20

I liked it too. I tried to watch it through a feminist lens, but got very caught up in the drama.

I thought the excellent portrayal of the abusive husband was true to life. Before you realise he was an abuser, my senses were already tingling.

I also guessed the bully long before my DH.

EnidColeslaw771 · 26/04/2017 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

makeourfuture · 27/04/2017 17:41

The scenes with the relationship counselor were so tense/gripping. I found them almost too hard to watch.

Original poster
cookiecakez · 28/04/2017 10:50

I agree the counsellor scenes were superbly acted.

Also how the counsellor spoke of the abuser was spot on and how she helped Celeste see the abuse for what is and that it would only get worse.

OP posts:
Datun · 28/04/2017 10:57

I was struggling with the way Celeste was so immersed in the abuse that she considered it mutual.

And how she didn't seem at all 'cowed' by him until he actually started.

I know many women end up so controlled that they cope by excusing behaviour. But to me, Celeste seemed to be going beyond even that. I'm not sure if that was a plot mechanism to throw you off, though.

Original poster
cookiecakez · 28/04/2017 11:20

In the book you can read Celeste blaming herself for the Lego blocks being left out and I think that is a key part of domestic violence and how women are blamed as victims that they look to blame themselves.

I also think the way Celeste repeated often that perry was a great father and would not hurt the children is understandable although not one I would hold it is part and parcel of society - look how ridiculous some family court judgements are and how women have difficulty protecting their children from abusers in terms of custody cases.

OP posts:
Original poster
cookiecakez · 28/04/2017 11:22

Also the author quoted some books on domestic violence as part of her research so I might look this up.

OP posts:
Datun · 28/04/2017 11:25

cookiecakez

I haven't read the book. And books always give a more in-depth viewpoint.

I nearly stopped watching the series after the first episode as I thought it was a cross between sex and the city and desperate housewives. I checked the reviews and read that you need to keep going.

I'm so glad I did.

Original poster
cookiecakez · 28/04/2017 11:33

I actually really liked sex and the city Smile yes it was worth it in the end - another insight I found from Celeste is that she mentioned how much she had in material terms and also when perry supported her through premature twins being born - as though that for her to be upset about the violence meant that she was being ungrateful for the riches of life she had had - I do think people make that compromise.

They feels shame and embarrassment but almost ungrateful to complain. Also she didn't bring in money.

I sometimes wonder if not having that equal footing in a marriage financially leads to some sort of stress due to that imbalance too.

I did a short term contract with a hedge fund related business and he imbalance of money did make people's relationships difficult

OP posts:
Datun · 28/04/2017 11:38

Sorry, I didn't mean to denigrate sex and the city. I know I'm in the minority!

In the programme Celeste mentioned that she had had four miscarriages. I was wondering whether that implied she'd lost the babies through violence.

Was that part in the book?

Original poster
cookiecakez · 28/04/2017 13:52

Not a problem - as far as I can recall the violence started when the children were babies. There is reference to Celeste getting pregnant easily but not staying pregnant - but it does not say how or why she miscarried - I think the financial difference / control and loss of her independence happened earlier.

OP posts:
AntiGrinch · 02/05/2017 21:09

I absolutely loved this show. It was one of the most sophisticated things I have ever seen.

I loved the way that the small children were all very real people, with their own personalities.

I loved the way that the relationship between a mother and a teen was so exquisitely portrayed as difficult, but loving. so few words but so complicated and precise. Relationships between generations and within families, other than between spouses, are usually bumped to "second best" or "trivial" relative to the Serious Business of Men and Women and Love. This show just had it all - yes people's marriages were important but also every other relationship was shown as being rich and vital.

The fact that your ex doesn't just disappear. And you can not want to be with him but still hate that you separated.

WhereAreWeNow · 03/05/2017 11:19

I loved it too. OP would you recommend the book? And has anyone read any other books by the same author? Apparently Witherspoon has bought rights to do another book of hers.

Goldfishjane · 03/05/2017 11:26

I was put off watching this because I read one of her other books and it was dire....but reading this maybe I should watch this show.

Kenworthington · 03/05/2017 11:37

I loved the book. Am trying to find it on the telly. What's it on? Can't seem to find it

AntiGrinch · 03/05/2017 11:58

It's Sky Atlantic. You can get it on Now TV

SecretFreebirther · 03/05/2017 12:02

I've read The Husbands Secret which I think is the same author and is apparently going to be made into a film? I really liked the book so I hope so!

Kenworthington · 03/05/2017 12:23

Oh bugger. I think that's the only blinking channel we DONT get. Typical

Goldfishjane · 03/05/2017 12:27

oh The Husband's Secret is the one I read and disliked, found it really dull.

i have Now TV, there's way too much to watch, so I didn't watch this one but heard so much about it. Interesting that people are saying you have to stick with it.

Goldfishjane · 03/05/2017 12:28

tbh one of the things that put me off was that I'm sick of seeing women in traditional roles so have been avoiding that "domestic" genre, it has been recommended to me by a lot of people.

Bluntness100 · 03/05/2017 12:32

I loved this it was excellent. It started off slowly, which meant when you started to see the imperfections it was quite shocking. By epside six I kinda guessed what was going to happen but not the full extent of it.

It was really well done and very watchable.

AnyFucker · 03/05/2017 12:32

.

Goldfishjane · 03/05/2017 12:37

AF if that's your view of the show and not just a phone glitch, then I think I should give it a miss Wink

AnyFucker · 03/05/2017 12:46

Haven't seen any of it. Just placemarking to remind me to look it up later Smile

Datun · 03/05/2017 12:51

Give it time. It doesn't start to get even slightly interesting until the second episode.

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