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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Just a thought

227 replies

YellowChicken · 14/04/2017 11:53

feminism

the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

Just a thought and I can see me getting my butt handed to me but if feminism is about equality of sexes then should it not support both sexes?
I understand alot of issues in the world directly affect women but sometimes I fine feminism to be used as a big hate compain against men when really it should be bringing us all together and creating a fair and equal society.

Dont get me wrong im all for what feminism is but sometimes I feel that the idea of equality.

An example

I cant say all women do but alot objectify men on their appearance. I seem many people on here talk about "sexy" men in a derogatory way. A crush that makes their "fanny tingle" (yes iv read that) is no different to a guy saying a woman makes his cock hard.
A guy looking at a women body and making derogatory comments is no different from a female seeing a topless guys and making comments about his body.

However there are movements about how men should not look at a womans body and be aroused by it. That is just basic biology

Porn is another example people focus on the women in porn but there are just as many men in porn and alot of women watch porn. The idea that women in porn make unreachable expectations of how a woman should look and behave in the bedroom can be an issue with men in porn. Be it gay, tv or heterosexual.

Who is speaking up for them men?

The idea that women can only be sexually assaulted when I know many males who have been.
Who is sticking up for them men?

The pension age is lower for females, we have the choice of terminating a pregnancy regardless of how a male thinks or feels, we more often then not get full custody of children.

And thats just a few examples.

I often think the true meaning of equality is forgotten.

Right light me up

OP posts:
IAmAmy · 14/04/2017 13:55

Fauchevelent I'm sorry to hear that about your school. I'm lucky I go to a girls' school which has quite a strong feminist ethic (and a Feminist Society); whilst it isn't quite cool it's at least not frowned upon Grin The boys I'm friends with go to the aforementioned boys' school and a couple challenging certain misogyny had done so at the cost of their own status there; not that it warrants a medal but it is decent of them. I'm white but one of my two closest friends is a WOC, so I hope I listen to and learn from here on challenging racism.

Very much so on siblings. The elder of my two brothers is 15 and it's difficult, I've seen some of what his friends post on social media and had the misfortune to overhear a couple of sexist comments but do discuss feminism with him, hopefully at the right level that he doesn't switch off. He seems quite receptive. It's fantastic your niece has you to support her as a brilliant, articulate and strong feminist who she will learn hugely from! I'm sure with you as an aunt she'll grow up a strong and powerful girl/woman.

Xenophile · 14/04/2017 13:55

OP, are you suggesting that men are unaware of the consequences of unprotected sex?

If so, that's a sad indictment of sex education over the last 30 or so years, wouldn't you say?

GahBuggerit · 14/04/2017 13:55

If the male doesn't want a child then he can take control can't he? Condom and withdrawal method would be pretty reliable.

It doesn't take a genius surely to work out that the ultimate decision comes down to the woman because she is the one having to carry the child for 9 months then give birth to it Confused

Original poster
YellowChicken · 14/04/2017 13:56

If a man really doesn't want to have a child, then it is HIS responsibility to use contraception as well.

If a woman doesnt want a child its her responsibility to ensure she doesnt get pregnant also

OP posts:
Original poster
YellowChicken · 14/04/2017 13:57

But why should a male have to have that responsibility for the rest of his life

OP posts:
stitchglitched · 14/04/2017 13:58

You have no regard for the children. Studies show that poverty can impact outcomes for children. Maintenance can minimise poverty thus improving life for the children born. Why are you prioritising the right of men to ejaculate without consequence over the welfare of children?

stitchglitched · 14/04/2017 13:59

Because sex can make babies and any adult male who doesn't understand that has no business having sex.

BertrandRussell · 14/04/2017 13:59

"But why should a male have to have that responsibility for the rest of his life"

Because pregnancy is one of the possible consequences of sex. If either party doesn't want a baby they should take measures to ensure a baby is not conceived. Condoms are a very effective contraceptive if used properly.

DJBaggySmalls · 14/04/2017 14:00

Why indeed.

stitchglitched · 14/04/2017 14:03

And btw many men already do manage to shirk the responsibilities to their children very successfilly. They don't need any help from you.

ChocChocPorridge · 14/04/2017 14:03

There is no regard for the children. Benefits are in place.

Ah, so you are advocating that men should get to have sex and society should pay for any resulting children, rather than men taking responsibility for their actions.

It's an unusual standpoint, but OK. Personally I think that if you make a child you should bear the cost, not get everyone else to pay because you don't feel like it.

BertrandRussell · 14/04/2017 14:04

Yellowchicken, what do you mKe of the statistic that nearly 2 women a week are killed by their male partner?

Original poster
YellowChicken · 14/04/2017 14:05

But if a baby is possiblt consequence of sex and men should suck it up.

Then surely abortion shouldnt be a thing because women should understand a baby is a consequence of sex

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 14/04/2017 14:08

If men do not want a baby they can ensure they don't have one.

BertrandRussell · 14/04/2017 14:09

If either party in a sexual relationship relies on the other to provide contraception, then they need to accept the consequences.

Original poster
YellowChicken · 14/04/2017 14:09

The same coukd be said if women dont want to get pregnant

OP posts:
DJBaggySmalls · 14/04/2017 14:11

You are entitle to be anti abortion, but you are not entitled to force everyone else into that position.

Perhaps you could answer Bertrands question about violence?

stitchglitched · 14/04/2017 14:13

Abortion is a thing because there are very real risks to the mental and physical health of women resulting from pregnancy. But abortion isn't a reset button and the woman will face 'consequences' of her decision either way.

ChocChocPorridge · 14/04/2017 14:14

Women are painfully aware that babies are a consequence of sex.

Abortion is a thing because carrying a baby is just a tad stressful and dangerous for a woman's body, and so she gets to decide if she wants to put her body through that.

A man doesn't have any skin in the game, they don't have that extra risk to mitigate, they can abort a baby being grown in their body at any time, it's just never going to happen.

Both parents then have financial responsibility for the resulting child.

The woman gets an extra out, because they have an extra responsibility.

BertrandRussell · 14/04/2017 14:14

Agreed.

Original poster
YellowChicken · 14/04/2017 14:15

There are very real mental risks about be forced to have child. Being forced to provide for a life you never wanted.
There are very real mental risks to being a parent. Men suffer with this just as much as women.

OP posts:
GahBuggerit · 14/04/2017 14:16

Op it's really notnhardbto understand. The woman has the ultimate decision because it's her body. Men can ensure they don't get women pregnant by bagging up.

you don't like that why not put in a complaint to [email protected]

squishysquirmy · 14/04/2017 14:16

So, an accidental pregnancy occurs. This happens. Woman wants to got through with pregnancy, man doesn't. Three possible solutions:

  1. Force woman to undergo abortion. What happens if she refuses? Does she get dragged kicking and screaming to the hospital? Are the police involved in searching for her and bringing her in? Will extra medical staff be employed to hold her down during the procedure?

  2. Man "opts out" of all financial responsibility. In many cases this means that the child will grow up in poverty. Many children do already grow up in poverty, even when the current minimum payments are paid, so this will get much worse. As the child grows up, they have to deal with the psychological impact of knowing that not only did their biological father not want to know them, but that he cared so little that he refused to make even the smallest financial contribution to their welfare.

  3. The man has to make a financial contribution based on his income for the next 18 years, but can choose whether or not he is involved in his child's life beyond that. There are many ways of getting around this financial obligation, and it is a fraction of the financial cost of bringing up a child.

None of those solutions are "fair". But the last one is the least unfair, imho.

BertrandRussell · 14/04/2017 14:18

Yellowchicken, what do you makeof the statistic that nearly 2 women a week are killed by their male partner?

stitchglitched · 14/04/2017 14:19

Women do accept the consequences of pregnancy. They either go through a termination or birth the child and are nearly always the ones left holding the baby. If you are all about equality surely you also want men to face their share of consequences too, even if it is only a small financial contribution and can never match up to what the woman has gone through?

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