Jack Monroe

[MercyMyJewels]

twitter.com/MxJackMonroe/status/822996532228227078


Welcome back Jack

[mxjackmonroe]

Nothing wrong with lipstick. Far from it. And it suits you.

Don't think there's a woman out there who's happy in her body, doesn't mean it's not hers

The above is a comment on Jack's twitter feed, not a comment by Jack. I can't fathom how anyone can think that no woman can be happy in her body.

^ This. I can't remember if I replied to this comment (I had about 200k notifications yesterday so didnt get round to everything...) but I did see it and had a proper nose scrunch. I think it was well meaning, light hearted and supposed to be supportive, but it was a bit like well why must be perpetuate that we should be dissatisfied with ourselves? (yes yes, ironic coming from someone with dysphoria i know)

[derxa]

I wish you well even though I don't understand any of this gender business.

[amispartacus]

I hope you have people in RL to support you. 200k notifications is one hell of a lot. It must be great to see the positive ones but really hard with the negative ones and the ones that are really awful.

Take care and good mental health (to paraphrase Frasier)

[Gallavich]

Hi Jack, i tagged you because I wanted you to see that you have a community of women who will support you and there is always a safe place to talk about being a woman in this world, even the gender identity stuff too. I assumed you would be in for a lot of abuse on social media and just wanted to remind you that it's not all like that.
Publicly stating that you are a woman shouldn't be a radical act but that's the very strange world we live in so kudos to you for doing it.
Question though - do you use twitter because you need to as a public figure and it's good for book sales (a perfectly valid reason) or because you enjoy interacting with people on a one to one basis? I have tried twitter but I find it a bit of a race to the bottom sometimes and I wonder how good it can be for your mental health to wade into that on a regular basis.
Social media use is linked to anxiety and depression for some people, maybe a bit of a detox might be good at this juncture? Just some well meaning advice.

[amispartacus]

Social media use is linked to anxiety and depression for some people, maybe a bit of a detox might be good at this juncture

It must be so so hard as I can see why you (as in Jack) needs to use social media for business. But it is a double edged sword.

[DameDeDoubtance]

Love eye makeup, hate lipstick, yucky stuff.

Hope you figure yourself out love, you get your whole life to do so if needed.

It's just a bloody shame that we aren't all focused on smashing gender roles and gender stereotypes. If we all pulled together then within a generation we would have a world where all choices are available to both sexes, without comment, and both sexes are respected. Instead the borders are being policed and gender roles enforced. Biology is ignored. Women are shamed in a women's march for mentioning women's bodies. Women are always shamed for mentioning their bodies aren't they? It's rotten here but in other parts of the world you could die in a hut because of your bastard biology

This hurts my daughter, this hurts me, this hurts all women which is why it's so important to stand together, even though all we share is our biology and the shoddy way females are treated in society.

Wishing you and your son all the best love

[noeffingidea]

Good luck Jack, and take care on social media. Look after yourself and your son.

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

Jack I was one of the people who mentioned feeling sorry for your DS. I imagine you are a great mum but I don't understand why you would want to announce every time you decide to change how you identify and why you would want to be better known for doing this than your actual cookbooks etc.

Your DS will be able to access all the announcements, the threats against you, as will his mates as he gets older, that will be awkward.

I'm sure you are coming from everything with the best motives but spilling your guts on Twitter will get negative attention, some of those people are totally batshit.

I don't understand why you wouldn't sort your personal issues out privately and use your social media for promotion of your work.

I hope you find some peace but perhaps social media isn't the place to find it

[noeffingidea]

I agree with that, Livia.
I would advise Jack to take a step back and stop engaging with these people ie anyone who threatens or is aggressive. Delete and block.
Draw a line between your public life and your private one. Once again, good luck Jack.

[OrchidaceousRose]

It's a very low blow to start questioning another person's ability as a parent simply because you disagree with/don't understand some of their lifestyle choices. Or dislike some aspects of their personality.

And it's also some variety of underhand, passive aggressive, or controlling to try to dress that attack up as 'concern' or 'advice'.

We're our own jailers at times.

[MercyMyJewels]

Jack
Take care of yourself.

You have lots of support here. Ignore the haters

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

Controlling? OMG seriously?

I don't actually care what she does but I don't think it's healthy to do it all on social media, especially if, as several posters are suggesting, she is vulnerable and needs validation from strangers. Because outside of MN, people will be nasty. And it can appear like she's setting herself up as a social justice warrior.

And I didn't question her ability as a parent. Several people have stated that it could be mortifying for her son as he grows up to read his mother's tweets and the replies to them. Would those of you with children like them reading that from and about you?

But it's reasonable to state an opinion on someone who lives her life through social media.

If I had said nothing I would have been accused of not having the bollocks to say anything once she came onto the thread.

I'm not attacking anyone, besides I'm sure she's quite capable of engaging in discussion if she wants to.

[MercyMyJewels]

You clearly do care what she does Livia. You are spending a lot of time attacking her. Leave her alone, you are coming across as mean.

[DeviTheGaelet]

Yep agree orchid and mercy.

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

why not go over to Twitter and tell them that they are mean? They are actually attacking and threatening her on there - I'm stating an opinion on someone, which you may disagree with. But I'm not threatening her or telling her she should diaf.

I guess it's easier to stay on here and tell people not to be mean.

[Somerville]

'People say worse things on Twitter' is not a defence. Twitter and MN have different talk guidelines (thank God - I had to leave Twitter) and here we are not allowed personal attacks.

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

I don't need a defence - I'm not in court ffs.

Anyone is free to report anything they deem to be a personal attack - and given we have had Jack herself on the thread I'm sure she would report anything she found to be a PA.

I will leave now as you obviously only wanted adoring comments from people.

[MercyMyJewels]

So I should go to Twitter to see the really mean people? Right.

[KanyeWesticle]

I think you've had a really hard time!

This is a safe place to explore - the best bit, you don't need to use your full name. Which means you won't get subjected to the level of hatred on twitter - and the conversation, the ideas, are deconstructed, not you.

[mxjackmonroe]

Here we go.

I don't need validation from anyone but my son. Anyone.

I respond to lies online and shoulder the criticism, but I feel it's right to correct deliberate untruths about me for the record, else I risk being complicit in them.

I use twitter because 99% of people on there are fun, funny, warm and kind. I think I have linked to my books five times in five years, so it isnt about book sales. They sell alright as they are, from bookshops...

[Bibblewanda]

Honestly jack there really is no need to defend yourself here. :)

[mxjackmonroe]

Livia I'm big and ugly enough to take non-adoring comments on the chin

[DameDeDoubtance]

The thing with twitter is that it's amazing, right up until the moment when it's not, and you can never see those moments coming!

Sometimes you just need to walk away for a bit, ground yourself in the real world.

[DameDeDoubtance]

Anyway Jack, I wouldn't be hanging around these parts if I were you. You've exchanged tweets with Julie Bindel and now you're hanging out on Mumsnet, you're reputation will be ruined I tell ya!

[TinselTwins]

Jack, I can only imagine the people saying that you're confusing/messing your son up don't have kids! Anyone with kids knows that you could tell them that you're really a squirrel and their reply would be "what's for dinner". xx