Using 'Mrs'

[Booboobedoo]

This is something I've been pondering for a while, and now I'm posting on here to garner opinion.

I'm sure I can't be the first to suggest this, but would it not be a logical step to start addressing women as 'Mrs' as soon as they are adults, in the same way that men become 'Mr'?

It would render 'Ms' unnecessary.

Ultimately I suppose I'd prefer all titles to be done away with altogether, but I'm not sure the world is ready 😁.

Any thoughts? Any obvious reason why not?

Anyone?

If we had not already developed the word "Ms" this might be a sensible suggestion.

But we now DO have a word that means "woman whose marital status is irrelevant" so it's unlikely that Mrs will come to mean that.

Ha! Ms. still exists

I had a subscription for it about 200 years ago
Sigh.

The only time I ever see Master used is on my son's bank account, they seem to use the term, his bank statement comes addressed to 'Master .... '

It's easy to underestimate the social pressure on some people to conform. I'm only in my early 40s, but I was brought up in a very religious family and it was my father who put pressure on me to change to Mrs .....' when I got married. I had used Ms before marriage (which caused great upset as my parents found it offensive) and intended to keep it, and my name, and my husband didn't care. But my father sat me down and told me how ashamed he would be, that he thought he had raised me with more respect, and that people would think I wasn't married. Personally I couldn't give a shite if people thought I wasn't married, but my parents found it very upsetting and because I loved them and didn't want to upset them, I found it easier to conform than to drive a wedge into our relationship that was otherwise very good.

Hmm, didn't boys used to be Master, before Mr?

Yes, if you were an upper class character in a Victorian children's novel. I've never heard any actual male child , including my little brother and my son being called "master".

"Missus" is horrible- hate it. Don't mind Miss or Ms.

My ds has a bank account and a doctor and a physiotherapist. And a quasi professional qualification. He gets quite a few official letters. He has never been Master. Either just his name or Mr.

And I am sorry. I don't believe that a DBS check would be rejected because of the use of Ms. The organization asking for it might try- but that would be because they were ignorant and should be told so.

But the push for Ms has been going on for a LONG time now, with limited success, imo.

I think it's because people feel it's too exposing.

It takes a certain kind of bravery to break the mould and remain Ms when you get married, often in the face of pressure from friends and family.

I identify fully as a feminist, and I found it a difficult thing.

I think us slightly cowardly types who just want a quiet life, or who don't want to think too much, are far more common than the mould-breakers and banner-carriers (for whom I have nothing but admiration).

That's why I think that officially (by which I mean bureaucratically) changing the meaning of 'Mrs' would ultimately help to forward the feminist cause more than continuing to push 'Ms'.

Why would we adopt a title that means "married woman" when there is already one that means "any adult woman"? I know a few people still think Ms means divorced, but Mrs = married is far more entrenched.

Till I joined MN I thought Ms was the default except for women who want to announce their marital status.

I think Mrs has been associated with marriage for far too long to be used as a default but I'd have imposed Mr and Ms years ago.

I cannot believe op thinks it would be handy for cowardly people for everyone to switch to Mrs. If we all followed the cowards we wouldn't even have the vote. FFS. Is that your attitude to this whole thing? Follow the path of least resistance? The path that society would be more comfortable worth women following? That doesn't advance feminism one iota.

Wouldn't it be just grand if there was a salutation that covered everyone. So no need to distinguish by gender/age or anything. The only existing one I can think of is citizen, which has its own socialist connotations. It has the right implication though I think, bit awkward to say maybe.

I suppose it would be an almost insurmountable struggle to introduce a new one (thinking of the Ms problem of acceptance).

Perhaps no salutation is the way forward and just address people by their given names?

It's a practical step imo.

However, I could see that if one has been in the thick of the fight to establish Ms, the idea could be rather galling.

This has been really interesting and helpful - thanks all for engaging.

I just booked flights for my family, and BA has Mstr for my sons... slightly irrelevant, but people have been asking.

Other European countries have done this haven't they? Done away with married and unmarried titles and all women are just the Mrs equivalent?

Come to think of it, last time I registered for a doctor in the UK with them, they used Master too. So it is still about (probably because it sounds so weird to use Mr for a 3 year old)

Believe it, lorelei.

You know, or don't.

I think the elephant in the room is that a significant number of people think being married confers status on a woman. So changing the meaning of Mrs would meet huge opposition.

There are always threads where women get up in arms about being called Ms when they are married. They will deny it to their last breath, but it's basically because they don't want anyone to think they haven't been able to get a man

"Yes, Master is the equivalent of Miss."

No it isn't.

Official letters to DS16 always start "Mr DS" except for from our dentist and optician, who both use "Master". I don't know if it's because of his age or when he will become a Mr. Conversely my GP always put "Miss" on my prescriptions etc despite me having changed my name when I got married 15 years ago. It irrationally irritates me.

I agree Bertrand, which is why I think my idea would ultimately work.

If young girls grow up addressing, for example, all their female teachers as Mrs, that would undermine the marriage=true-adulthood-for-women nonsense.

That, in fact, is the elephant whom I am attempting to address.

But I don't understand why you object to Ms.

It isn't the boy's equivalent to miss because it has nothing to do with marital status.

I'm Mrs, but don't mind if people get it wrong/guess if I haven't told them/accidently use my maiden name

Shocker!!!

Currently I am guilty of taking the path of least resistance with the DC's schools, they call me Mrs and I accept it because I have other issues that I need to talk about with them on a daily basis. I share my partners surname (we are not married) and so I am Ms. I don't mind Ms at all but I am not always in the mood for the questions that follow.

Interestingly at the childrens previous school the headteacher was a Ms, no matter how much she spoke to the children about it she couldn't get them to address her as anything but 'Mrs', I asked my children why they couldn't chant 'Good morning Ms...' in assembly and they said that it was easier to do what everyone else was doing.