Cat calling

[Cocklodger]

I'm sure this one has been done to death, I don't frequent the board often tbh.
now I hate catcalling. I'm sure every woman has or will experience it. Its not pleasant. It makes me angry and sometimes it scares me,
But today I've seen a post on FB (with someone of a similar view point to me) being ripped into, because
''Its just a compliment''
she's a ''fun sucker''
''I bet she would've REALLY just asked for his number''... Those comments came from women.
Now I, being me decided to defend this person and found the same comments hurled at me. I've now just left it because I've gotten to the point where I can no longer even try to come up with a coherent argument. I have also received personal insults(about my appearance and the fact I'm obviously a bit fat since I was recently pregnant baby under 2wks old)
i just didn't realize how acceptable it was, I genuinely thought it was wildly noted as pretty fucking annoying (If I'm being generous)
I don't even know what to say.
Wtf is wrong with people?
Can someone please reassure me that I'm not wrong? I know I sound bloody pathetic but for some reason finding out how acceptable it is has actually quite scared and shaken me a lot....

Also seeing as I've been harassed in school uniform, jeans/t-shirt/hoody and in nicer clothes it's clearly nothing to do with that anyway, just power and intimidation.

I also think any sort of boundary violation is a red flag. When you mix entitlement with not respecting people's boundaries, it's concerning behaviour. I think a lot of street harassers get off on making woman feel small and uncomfortable, rather than expecting a date or wanting to pay a compliment, as it's always claimed minimised as

OK - i'll get flamed for this, but i'm not winning any friends anyway.

Are you saying that the things women wear, the makeup they put on etc - has no effect on men ? When i was younger they used to advertise bras with the tagline "hello boys" - women would go to nightclubs, women I knew, to "pull" - they would dress to attract men's attention. If they didn't get it, they were not happy about it...I have internalised this on some level I admit....

Amy you are spot on.

Even grow got it.

!!!!!

growapear you're getting worse if that's possible. Yeah, you've rumbled me, when I go out to a party I dress with all the men who'll see me on the street in mind. My goodness.

Even if some women choose to dress in a certain way to go to a club that doesn't give any man the right to shout at her, harass her or treat her in any way other than respectfully in any setting.

venus thank you very much!

You think "hello boys" was solely aimed at women? Yes, women bought the product. I wonder why. Have a think about why many women might wish to go along with the accepted attitudes and not make a fuss when they are mocked and dismissed for expressing any concern or saying they don't like it.

And yes obviously most women want to be seen as attractive for their own self confidence etc.

And I am falling into your derail trap. Thank you Amy for getting back to the point!

I didn't say it gave them any right Amy. You are like a feminist chatbot.

Yes, women bought the product. I wonder why

Because they wanted male attention, which they thought they would get. They were too stupid for this forum I presume, or too blind.

And yes obviously most women want to be seen as attractive

What evidence would be acceptable that they met this criteria ?

You are extremely insensitive and have no concern whatsoever for how street harassment makes so many women and girls feel and how it impacts on our lives.

And actually quite creepy.

I mean, if men can't comment on womens appearance that is.

Any more insults in your bag amy, or are you done ?

I have hairspray in my bag, but don't get excited, it's not to look good for men, it's in case it comes in handy for self-defence.

have no concern whatsoever for how street harassment makes so many women and girls feel

This is false, which is why it's not something i would ever do, as I have repeatedly said. But I will admit that internally I do admire women I find attractive, which i feel conflicted about.

Well maybe their boyfriend or husband gave them a compliment, or maybe feeling that they personally looked nice, and you know, looking in a mirror was enough. They don't necessarily need validation from random men.

Heterosexual women dress up to be attractive to men, I think that's obvious. That doesn't mean they then should expect street harassment. Is it not possible for men to notice that they find a woman attractive without shouting at her on the street?

As long as you're not bawling it across the street any conflict you feel is entirely your affair.

Thanks for the input anactual and I agree about the half baked psychological theory.

sillage

I'd be interested in you prattling on, anactual
.
[smile ]

"I didn't say it gave them any right Amy. You are like a feminist chatbot."

FeministChatbot would be a cool user name!

I definitely like FeministChatbot. I'm quite flattered actually but not sure I've quite reached such a height

Maybe that should be your next MN username?