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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminist Pub XXI - The Pub with No Name

796 replies

erinaceus · 09/09/2016 12:22

Welcome, everybody.

Happy Friday.

OP posts:
M0stlyBowlingHedgehog · 06/02/2017 22:07

Hang on in there, Devi. Will PM you with a story which may cheer you slightly.

ISaySteadyOn · 07/02/2017 15:28

Irrelevant to anything really, but I noticed today, Octonauts passes the bechdel test.

HelenDenver · 07/02/2017 17:43

Does it? Not every episode, though...

AssassinatedBeauty · 07/02/2017 17:48

I thought Tweak was the only girl?

HelenDenver · 07/02/2017 18:01

Dashi too

HelenDenver · 07/02/2017 18:01

But the captain, elder statesman, pirate, medic and second in command are all male.

AssassinatedBeauty · 07/02/2017 18:08

Ah, Dashi, of course. But you're right about the rest of them being male. I had a conversation with my 4 year old the other day about whether Tunip the vegimal was a boy or a girl. The conclusion was that they were probably neither!

ISaySteadyOn · 07/02/2017 19:21

No, sorry. I'm home with that stomach bug and DS binged on octonauts. It was an episode where Dashi and Tweak fix the ship together.

HelenDenver · 15/02/2017 22:27
YetAnotherSpartacus · 16/02/2017 00:05

Errol's been here hasn't she? Didn't she turn up on another thread drunk? :)

YetAnotherSpartacus · 16/02/2017 00:12

My apologies, it was Rufus!

ErrolTheDragon · 16/02/2017 00:13

Eh? I've just been on one extolling the virtues of low alcohol weissbeir, which is all we've had since DD's birthday prosecco.

ErrolTheDragon · 16/02/2017 00:14

Oh x-post, apols accepted.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 16/02/2017 00:57

Sorry again. I've always had trouble telling reindeer and dragons apart.

ErrolTheDragon · 16/02/2017 01:02

Creatures which fly which are neither birds nor bats? Grin

rivierliedje · 16/02/2017 07:20

In conversation with friends one asked if, men and women could be friends. All three of us (all women) said yes, but she said her boyfriend thought not. Or more specifically he thought women could be just friends with men without wanting more, but men who wanted to be friends with women always had ulterior motives.
I've heard this lots of times before, but for some reason it struck me this time that this is just another way men don't view women as fully human. Men obviously have male friends who they don't want to have sex with, so they do know the concept. But for some reason couldn't possibly be interested in women that they're not interested in sleeping with. Surely that suggests they're just feigning interest to get to an end goal. So not really interested in the person at all.

I'm not quite sure why it struck me so suddenly, or if I've articulated it properly here. But I thought it was a sad indictment of men and the state of the world.

HelenDenver · 16/02/2017 07:55

Hmm.

I certainly have male friends who don't want to sleep with me. The odd one or two who might want to, I suspect.

I don't think all men want to sleep with all their female friends, though. I do think that specific man doesn't have the greatest set of views.

elusivemoosive · 16/02/2017 09:15

Hello, I am new in the pub! New to posting too, but have been lurking for a long time.

Just picking up on something Prawn says about having children (re)awakening your feminism. I tried talk about this to a friend at work and I was basically called a TERF!! In real life! "You need to go away and educate yourself because I am sure you don't mean to be, but you are coming across as a TERF". (I think she told me to check my privilege too, but maybe I added that in after too much online reading, ha.)

Anyway, this was in a small discussion about my personal experiences of sexism and oppression as a mother (specifically), she tried to 'correct' me - "as a parent" . No. A mother. A woman who is a mother. Anyway... How is that in any way related to trans?? I'm a TERF for pointing out I'm a mother? I sometimes read this board and think yeah, this is bad, but its the internet innit? Women in real life are not being called TERFs when they mention their biology. But there it was. (And now I feel like my boyfriend when I mentioned I had been harassed while out running and he was shocked (!!!) And said 'he has read that that happens...' pmsl)

HelenDenver · 16/02/2017 09:16

Welcome, elusive!

DeviTheGaelet · 16/02/2017 19:11

Hi elusive! I think being called a TERF was what inspired me to start posting too. It is infuriating!!!

Thelilywhite · 16/02/2017 19:24

Not been called a TERF outright but certainly implied. Also lots of dont know what ur getting so worked up abouts .

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 16/02/2017 19:31

A mother is not a father. There's a reason why "to father" refers to a single act whereas "to mother" is open ended. Women are the ones who risk health, even life, to bear a child. Women are almost always the one who takes at least months off work, with ill effects on their careers and financial independence. You can track populations and see the financial effect on women that motherhood makes over their working and childrearing years.

Becoming a mother revived my sleeping feminism. As a young, healthy, well educated woman in a female friendly profession I had felt very self-sufficient and free. Just one tiny baby was enough to crack that illusion.

It's difficult at work, Elusive, because in most places we avoid potentially controversial subjects. The very fact that your friend believed her position was uncontroversial is disturbing.

I think if it comes up again I'd ask her questions. What does she mean exactly? How does she define that? You know her and what would work best. But I would prepare something as it sounds like it is likely to happen again.

Xenophile · 20/02/2017 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AssassinatedBeauty · 20/02/2017 13:18

Why on earth was she banned? Her question is still there and is totally reasonable!

Xenophile · 20/02/2017 13:19

Sorry, wrong person... will get this deleted