Twisting again.
I have and always will maintain that a man 'placing' his penis in the vagina/anus/mouth of a woman who has not openly, freely and joyfully consented is in itself an act of violence. (Or in the mouth/anus of a man)
You don't need to be slapped,punched or kicked, having a penis in any of these that you did not consent to, is in itself an act of violence.
It is people saying that a penis in a vagina or else where without permission isn't always'violent' that makes women doubt themselves (and same for male victims for that matter).
At the end of the day if you did not freely consent to the act it doesn't matter if there isn't a mark on you or you've been beaten black and blue.
Doesn't matter if you've only meet the person an hour earlier, or been in a relationship for 40 years.
If you're married or not, if you earn more/less than them, if you vote Tory and they vote Lib Dem.
At the end of it all
Lack of active consent = rape.
Rape = violence
Didn't scream and fight, but didn't obviously / freely consent = rape.
Married for 1,5,or 45 years, no consent, still rape.
Was in to it at the start changed your mind and said stop and they didn't , yeap that's rape too.
This is a short list of reasons I have personally heard that were used as justification for rape.
She Wore a short skirt/sexy clothes, worked as a lap dancer, is a lesbian or bi, is/was a virgin,cheated on them. 'Known' to have had multiple sexual partners. Chatted nicely to them. Invited them for a drink/coffee/dinner. Gave them a book/video/DVDs that they expressed an interest in.
Amazing how some men can see these subtle signs as an 'invitation' to sex but can't see a woman terrified/motionless/emotionless as signs that she doesn't want to have sex.
To the sensible people on here, no I don't have a very scarey set of friends, I heard the 'excuses' above in a professional setting.