My Transgender Kid

[kua]

Anyone watching? Half way through, quite different kids, though gender stereotypes seem to be a quite strong theme.

Anyhoo.... The next in the series will be shown on Tuesday for those that are interested.

Sorry kua pretty spectacular derailing of your thread there

Bit late to the party but I watched this last night and was also surprised at the level of gender stereotyping. The parents, while obviously doing their very best in a difficult and unfamiliar situation were really pushing it too. I did chuckle when George's mum asked his sisters what girly thing they would like to do next and they said swimming...in bikinis.

Having been a.child who wanted to be a boy (as opposed to thinking I actually was one in a girl's body admittedly) pretty much up to hitting puberty, I couldn't decide what to make of it. I mean it was great.the parents were trying so hard to be supportive but is there an argument that they will find it harder to change their minds should they want to and go back to being their born sex if they have been living as the other sex for a number of years? My parents let me dress in boyish clothes a lot of the time and Wear my hair short but, beyond that, I lived as a girl. So when the wanting to be a boy thing wore off for me there was no dramatic change of lifestyle to deal with. I just worry that might be harder for these children if they do eventually change their minds.

I am not trying to trivialise it by the way. I realise my situation wasn't exactly.the same and I agree with posters who say we are only.seeing a snapshot of what has probably taken years to develop and for the parents to understand, accept and try to support their children with.

I agree. Also in many families there is one parent pushing it more than the other (usually the mother) and the child probably feels they are disappointing or letting down that parent by saying "I've changed my mind gender is more complicated than it seemed when I was 6". I did wonder if some of the parents loved the attention.

Whenshewas Indeed However, gave me pause to how I viewed Wagner etc I found I had no view point ...

frozen I can somewhat identify in how you felt as a child. I identified as a "tomboy " never wore skirts , dresses etc . NEVER played with dolls or sparkly unicorns As I lived abroad with no uniform restrictions (okay, boys did not have the same) this never raised an eyebrow. I was aware that at a young age (1970s), boys seemed to have it better than me and it hacked me off. At one point I wanted to be known as my middle name which works for either gender.

It concerns me that if I was that age now, thinking as I did my life would be more confusing.

Nowadays, some days I rock out the skirt, heels, makeup but some I don't, choosing jeans/sweats / no make up etc

I guess the point I'm trying to make is whichever look I present to the world. I always feel like me. Which is a female.

I

Anyone watching Girls to men?

Yes I am.

the surgery.... omg. what is that poor man about to go through

I wish him a speedy recovery it's going to he so painful. I don't really know anything about it all I'm finding the honesty interesting yet scary. I guess up till this point I never knew just what they did to them.

they all seem so wise beyond their years

their bravery and endurance is incredible.

I love playing sports, especially hockey.

When I was a kid, I refused to be seen in clothing that a boy wouldn't wear. By the time I was 6 I was aware that being a girl meant that I would occasionally miss out on the toys and activities I liked because my interests were deemed by society to be boy interests. I wanted to be grouped with the boys when we were segregated by sex for an activity.

As I got older and became aware of stereotypes and gender roles, I consciously chose to conform to some male gender expectations because those were the ones I'd identified with.

I'm not transgender, but I can relate to transgender kids who go out of their way to conform to the gender roles and expectations they feel they should conform to. I'd like to see more people rebel against gender norms, but I've found that people aren't shy about trying to "help" you conform when you choose to live differently. I understand that people are well meaning, but it is a little insulting when someone decides it's their calling in life to change you (particularly when half the population gets to do what you're doing, and nobody bats an eye).

Giles agreed. They had no doubts did they?

Duality I'd like to see more people rebel against gender norms, but I've found that people aren't shy about trying to "help" you conform when you choose to live differently. I understand that people are well meaning, but it is a little insulting when someone decides it's their calling in life to change you (particularly when half the population gets to do what you're doing, and nobody bats an eye).

I totally agree we should be free from stereotypes.

Giles the procedures are scry, I could not watch, but I am glad they felt it was worth it.

I also felt sorry for the mums.

Hmm, these programmes are very simplistic aren't they? Felt to me like the trans community weren't really involved in making it. There was some misgendering language and the obsession with surgery uncomfortable - there's so much more to the trans experience than that. Maybe it did some good in demystifying transmen but it left me a bit cold.

I suppose it was good to see how positive they were about the experience, that's probably reassuring for anyone watching who's young and trans.

Felt to me like the trans community weren't really involved in making it

What do you mean by that? It was about the individual experiences of the boys and men concerned- which trans community do you think should have been involved? And why?

I think some trans groups should have been consulted about the problems with how trans people have traditionally been portrayed in the media and how to avoid simple pitfalls such as using the wrong language. It actually might have made a more interesting programme if they hadn't spent so much time talking about surgery, lots of trans people don't have any surgery at all.

Sorry - in terms of which groups, people like Trans Media Watch, All About Trans, Mermaids, Gendered Intelligence are a few to spring to mind. Perhaps they were consulted, I don't know.

VashtaNerada I only heard one or two times when there was 'misgendering'.

I felt the film was very sympathetic to the individual people who it was about.

I was very pleased it was not all about clothes and sports and toys etc and which colour they liked. There have been lots of things in the media about these topics.

They only touched on the dangerous associated with tesosterone.

I am not sure where the trans 'community' could come into it.

Yes, I suppose after last week's it probably made sense to focus on the physicality of it but the obsession with surgery does become a little tiring when there's so much more to it! I'm not trans btw, just happen to know quite a few trans people. I'd be interested to know what they made of it.
Like the last episode it was definitely flawed but if it's even slightly shifted public attitudes to be a bit nicer to trans people that's a good thing I suppose!

VashtaNerada could you maybe ask your trans friends to come on and tell us more? EG what they felt about the episode.

I did feel the surgery was a bit much, I could not look at the screen when the actual surgery was happening! I think they needed to show it was a bloody big deal. They mentioned hair loss and increased risk of ovarian cancer from testosterone.

What was missing for me was how people know they feel like a man and not just a case of not feeling like a typical girl/woman. This is always what i want to ask and find out.

I did feel the surgery was a bit much, I could not look at the screen when the actual surgery was happening! I think they needed to show it was a bloody big deal. They mentioned hair loss and increased risk of ovarian cancer from testosterone

they certainly did show what a big deal ot was. I wanted to scream at them and tell them they didn't have to do that to themselves and that I believe you. which is of course ridiculous it's not about what others thought of them.but them having the body they have felt fir so long they should be in. but I did struggle to watch him go through it. it was such a major procedure. all I kept thinking was how much pain he would he in when he woke up and that I really hope it was worth it to him and made him.happy. which it seemed to which was good but ow ow ow..

You're right Italian, that is what's missing. I'd like to hear about how (& when) those feelings manifest themselves, whether you ever have doubts, why (for these particular transmen) the surgery feels so important - and actually why for others it isn't.
I can't ask friends to post here though, would massively out myself! Will try to gauge some opinions though...

I think one of the most objectionable moments was the Harley street doctor saying 'they come in here with nothing and go out with a penis'... Where are you, Dr Greer ?

Deeply troubling all round.

yy seek I agree with that tbh.

I felt that they had all been really brave to go on tv and talk about what they did. they were amazingly brutally honest and showed us the intimite parts of their bodies and I felt he didn't show the same level of honesty and seriousness. kind of cheapened it all with his porn star comments etc.

I guess the series is called 'Born in the wrong body' so it has to focus on the body.

I felt very uncomfortable about the person who said he had had sex with women who had not known he was trans. To me that does not seem right.