Ms, Mrs,Miss

[LookAtMeGo]

Apologies in advance, as I'm sure it has been done to death. But today I realised the truth of why I refer to myself as Mrs even though I'm divorced. My mum is divorced and told me as a child in response to me asking why she is still Mrs that it is so nobody judges her and she looks respectable (not her actual words, but that's what I got from the convo at the age of about ten)

Even as a highly educated professional, I still wanted to hold on to the title post-divorce and I feel pretty... I don't know... angry? Upset? Ashamed? I really don't know. All I know is I don't feel good, and I shall be Ms from now on.

Any thoughts? Is there something else I should be doing?

Dr

There is always an element of smuggery on these threads. I do imagine it's women who slave away putting a hearty meal on the table for their sweaty useless lazy lump of a man who feel as though being able to say Mrs is a badge of honour.

I'm divorced, in my 40s, and reverted to my maiden name including the Miss.

Ms sounds like it's making an issue of it to me, so I don't use it, have never used it and don't identify with it.

If someone judges me for being 40s with kids and being Miss, that's their problem! Miss Pretend is my name and that's how I like it

I'm divorced, in my 40s, and reverted to my maiden name including the Miss.

Ms sounds like it's making an issue of it to me, so I don't use it, have never used it and don't identify with it.

If someone judges me for being 40s with kids and being Miss, that's their problem! Miss Pretend is my name and that's how I like it

Ms for me. Since I was old enough to have a title. No one needs to know my marital status.

This thread is still making my mind boggle
Most of my teachers were Ms 25 years ago! I'll grant you I don't remember any at primary though.

I'm afraid I do say Ms without the vowel. So do my friends. Does no one on this thread say like that?

Regarding the usage of mrs proudly as a badge of honour to display your marital status: i am proud to be a succesful professional an astronaut. But unless i am applying for a position at the international space station i dont go around introducing myself as "jane smith, astronaut". In most situations it is irrelevant, and i am pretty sure it could be seen as if i am declaring myself to be superior to the non-astronaut community even if i am just stating a matter of fact. So i introduce myself as plain jane smith.
Same thing as introducing oneself as "jane smith, married".

I don't know why you mind should boggle TooOldForGlitter,if I was going to get more than the odd letter from someone I would contact them to get my correct preference.

I expect that you went to school in a big city, achieve6.

Ms Ownsurname for me, both before and after marriage. I do a little inward cheer every time someone adresses me as Ms by default, that is without me having put it on a form first.

I think the boggling was not at the correction but the vehemence of the correction, Mehitabel.

I say it Mzzz, achieve.

Well, after this thread, she knows that some people feel strongly about it!

Those people should still correct her politely! If she didn't know she had to write something.

But if you're called 'Ms' on an envelope, there's nothing to correct, assuming you are a woman. They have paid you the respect of not presuming to guess your marital status, just as they wouldn't for a man, and they have used a title which correctly designates you as an adult woman. You can tell everyone you're married, including WHSmith, if you feel the need. But being referred to as Mrs when you are not, or Miss when you are not a little girl, is incorrect, and so some vehemence is understandable.

I know that anybody who has rung me up is a dick with nothing to say that I want to hear if they address me as Mrs Dp'ssurname. It's quite an efficient time saver!

I say Mzz too - Mizz sounds either American South, or that I'm embarrassed to be Ms and want it to sound like Miss.

This title thing gets very weird - I'm pretty sure I've seen threads where someone's got their Phd and there is generally a mix of people saying 'well done, you earned it, use it' and other people saying that they wouldn't update their bank/childs school etc. because it's too try-hard.

And because women change titles way more than men, we get more angst about it..

The solution really is for us to all get Doctorates though isn't it. (and with my name, it would be awesome - I'd sound like someone dead but famous)

Why is Miss a little girl? Who on earth would put Miss for a child? I put their name.
Ms is the sensible option if you don't know. I would use it. If not corrected I would assume it was preferred. If they want different they would say so.

You are a bit stuck if someone signs Alex Smith!

Little girls are Miss, if you need a title, and banks etc would certainly use Miss in correspondence about an account belonging to an under 18 year old girl.

My bank didn't. My DSs got first name surname not the outdated Master.
Why not Lucy Jones if a child? Surely the correspondence comes to the parent anyway if under 16 yrs?
Do you seriously put Miss L Jones on a 2 yr olds birthday card? I put Lucy Jones.

I think that rather than quibble about the title we should question why we need them -and get rid of the ones we don't want.
Addressing children comes from the class system. Lower class children never got letters and were never called a title as children. They would have to address upper class children as Miss Lucy, Master Harry etc.
Why are we still doing it?

No, I don't. But nonetheless, miss and master are the titles for young girls and boys respectively, in situations (which I agree are rare) where titles are used for children.

Be a rebel and abolish use of titles for children! I can't think of a single example of where they need them.

Be a rebel and abolish use of titles for children!

nothing rebellious about that, its been done to death, its impractical and it doesn't work.

I think I got a bank account in my own name when I was 7 and I believe that's still the rule. I was Miss Y Screwdriver on my griffin saver passbook.

It's probably because the bank's system as Ebear said upthread needs a title for every account holder.

No, I'd put name and surname on envelope for adults and children.