sexualisation of children vs slut shaming

[bikeandrun]

My DD is y6, having a great time with a fancy dress parades and final party. Being having lots of discussions with other mums and my mum about what the girls have been wearing. Finding my responses to this difficult
" cant believe mums let their daughters out of the house dressed like that" response to crop tops, mini skirts, lots of slap high heels etc

"girls don't understand the effect they have on men when they dress like that" this was aimed at a girl in dds year who has obviously gone through puberty and has a woman's body
Are just a few quotes I have heard
As a young single woman i used to enjoy dressing in an extreme and sexual way and felt empowered and confident.BUT

These girls are not sexual beings yet but is it slut shaming or just protective parenting to not want 11 year olds to dress like this.

I persuaded dd to wear converse rather than high heels mainly cos I know she wanted to jump around like a manic but I also really didn't like how she looked in those heels.
Help me find a feminist way through these feeling as I support my daughter as she grows into a woman

marmaladeatkinz and BakingCookiesAndShit this is my last post in this thread having had an email telling me that my points or opinions have been feather-ruffling other posters, but if you look at the context in which that anecdote was raised rather than creating your own for what you think its purpose or point was, you will see that it was simply in response to the statement "I cannot ever imagine a couple of women sniggering over the pecs of a 14 year old boy, however much older and well-developed he looked".

I made no claims at all as to the relative numbers of men who (knowingly) talk about underage girls vs the number of women who do the equivalent.

Goodbye.

feather-ruffling???

Of course JAPAB, that's so utterly what's happened here.

Well done not answering any of the points made to you, yet again.

I can understand why someone might not like the thought of a man drawing the attention of other men to a lady in with visible, nice legs, but I do not see it as that big a deal I'm afraid.

A grown man making sexual comments on and drawing his friends attention to the body of a teenager (you said he thought she was 18/19) is creepy to me. If it was an innocent "appreciative" comment he wouldn't have felt disgusted with himself when it was pointed out she was 14.

Or there again, maybe I am wrong and it is creepy and a big deal, but then as I say, we live in a sea of creeps in that case, unfortunately. Someone who has a circle of male friends and acquaintances would find it hard not to hang around with creepy men.

It would be hard if you thought all/most men were like your friend, a lot might be like that but a lot won't be, and as friends can be chosen, I guess people will choose to be friends with people who they don't think creepy.

Yes, people tend to hang out with similar types.

Yy nicked and garlick

And we all know that men like this 'dint think it's a big deal, I'm afraid'.

That is the whole goddamn point

Getting back to some of the stuff on the first page.

When parents object to some types of clothes as too revealing, they clearly need to be better informed if they think that not wearing those clothes protects against rape and sexual assault.

Men who don't care about consent won't be put off by baggy clothes, but surely it's true that a lot of the boys looking for consensual relationships might be drawn preferentially to the girls who look more dressed up and more grown up?

I'm sure it's relationships, not rape, that half the people who protest against revealing clothing really want to 'protect' girls from.