sexualisation of children vs slut shaming

[bikeandrun]

My DD is y6, having a great time with a fancy dress parades and final party. Being having lots of discussions with other mums and my mum about what the girls have been wearing. Finding my responses to this difficult
" cant believe mums let their daughters out of the house dressed like that" response to crop tops, mini skirts, lots of slap high heels etc

"girls don't understand the effect they have on men when they dress like that" this was aimed at a girl in dds year who has obviously gone through puberty and has a woman's body
Are just a few quotes I have heard
As a young single woman i used to enjoy dressing in an extreme and sexual way and felt empowered and confident.BUT

These girls are not sexual beings yet but is it slut shaming or just protective parenting to not want 11 year olds to dress like this.

I persuaded dd to wear converse rather than high heels mainly cos I know she wanted to jump around like a manic but I also really didn't like how she looked in those heels.
Help me find a feminist way through these feeling as I support my daughter as she grows into a woman

So why is it sexual to wear something that pushes your chest up but not sexual to wear nothing at all bike?

Also it's not just what they wear but how they act. All those selfies with provocative pouts. I've known my DSS since 9 all his female friends have been doing it since I've known him. So they got the clothes and the pose, but do they know why?

Erhm, enjoying this debate, being nude or wearing not very much denotes freedom, keeping cool etc. Breasts have a sexual as well as a biological function, push up bras are primarily designed to be comfortable ( like sports bras for example) they are designed to emphasis a sexual part of the body. That is neither a good or a bad thing?

They're doing what they're shown, surely. They don't just make these things up, it is our society that teaches them that this is what women do.

A woman can have sex without having any breasts, so they don't have any essential sexual function. They are an erogneous zone, as are elbows and the backs of knees, but we don't cover those up. The primary function of breasts is actually to feed babies and having them uncovered is essential for that.

Breasts are sexually pleasing to men. Therefore, women have to cover them up. Hmm, who seems to be dictating the agenda here?

So yes they are doing as they aare shown, explain this to daughters, but what happens if the preteen still wants the push up bra?

Ok, another question, if we're embarrassed to have our daughters imitate us then why are we giving them such a bad example in the first place?

'if we're embarrassed to have our daughters imitate us then why are we giving them such a bad example in the first place?'

Do you mean we as in society or us on this thread?

I will think I've failed as a parent if my daughter wants to wear clothes that emphasise her sexual availability to men to this extent. I just don't want her to feel that she needs to do that. I also realise that she probably will at some point.

Haven't there been MN campaigns against shops selling lacy underwear etc for kids? I too wondered why that was an issue if children aren't actually sexual.

Us as a society Hedgehog.

There is a campaign called 'let clothes be clothes' which follows on from the 'let toys be toys' campaign which targeted retailers for marketing toys as either girls or boys toys. Not sure what their success of the new campaign is.

These campaigns annoy me as it basically a load of people who think they know better telling everyone else what they should do. You are already free to buy whatever clothing you like for your children without starting a campaign about it.

"Breasts are sexually pleasing to men. Therefore, women have to cover them up. Hmm, who seems to be dictating the agenda here?"

Men have to cover certain parts as well, due to notions of modesty. Both men and women have to cover up any "sexual" parts.

You're not really that free Famous, if those clothes aren't available cheaply.

JAPAB - why are women's nipples sexual whereas men's nipples aren't?

Girl's and boy's stuff looks pretty similarly priced though?

"JAPAB - why are women's nipples sexual whereas men's nipples aren't?"

More that just about the nipple, but you'll have to ask mother nature that one.

Yes but many girls above the age of 6 or 7 won't shop in the boys department which means they're stuck with girls clothes that are tight and short. The point of the campaign is to just have clothes that are all practical and suitable for children.

JAPAB - do you reckon that it's just a natural thing then, no need for women to question it at all?

"JAPAB - do you reckon that it's just a natural thing then, no need for women to question it at all?"

Anyone can question whatever they want. People are free to believe that male chests are, for the general heterosexual woman, just as potentially erotic/titillating/sexually exciting/whatever terms you prefer, as the other way around. Or a person can believe that breasts indeed just are further along the sexual spectrum than male chests are, but still nonetheless think that a woman should be free to uncover.

Ok, so what do you think?

cailindana
I think male chests are in a similar category as female legs. No doubt can be very aesthetically pleasing to look at for those orientated the right way to appreciate them, but breasts are in a different category again.

Whether or not people should be free to expose whatever bits they have that are considered "sexual", maybe not in general public situations, I think.

Who gets to decide what's considered sexual JAPAB?

Well seeing as men often talk to my tits and not my face I'm guessing tits are pretty sexually appealing to most heterosexual males. Happy for a heterosexual man to say they don't find a nice cleavage sexually arousing and prove me wrong.

I think and feel free to shoot me down, that there is another layer. I have a ds who is 11 one of the mums with a Dd, was objecting to crop tops, now if you can't wear a crop top aged 11- what 22 max showing off your lovely tight abs (and this girl is very slim and pretty) either in hot weather or as sports wear then when the hell can you ? The majority of 11 year old girls will be in puberty (average age of onset is 10.5), if they need bras should they be made to wear clothes cut for children? Surely better they dress for their developmental stage.

I think this mother feels threatened by her daughter's budding sexuality, because that's what it is. Of course good taste is important too and people of both sees and all ages need to be appropriately attired for the activity they are undertaking.

I'm not saying men don't think breasts are sexually appealing captain. But I don't find them appealing, I think they're nice but nothing special. So why do men's preferences dictate women's clothing choices? And what if women decide men's forearms are sexually appealing (I know many women do, including me). So do we then get to say they have to be covered?